Відео

Thank you so much @aurialee8442! So kind of you.

Hi @vanessacorder5712. I admire you homeschooling moms. Have you ever heard of Levels of Liberty? It's a system developed by a homeschooling mom with the goal of teaching your kids how to govern themselves and giving them the skills to do so. Here's a link to one of their UA-cam videos for you to watch: ua-cam.com/video/gQh--BbWrFc/v-deo.html A few other thoughts: Just like any kind of parenting task, whether you are homeschooling or not, the goal is to help kids become increasingly independent as they get older. So: • Give them opportunities to be out in public - do activities, that you’re not involved with. Like a co-op class, which can be great for them. • Don’t hover constantly. Have rules and expectations set up, and tie them to rewards. • Example - if your daughter has to get an assignment done, tie it to a reward (e.g., getting to play at a friend’s home later that week). • Set up a structured schedule where your daughter manages her own time for certain subjects. Maybe start with her strongest subject - let her decide when and how to complete it within agreed timeframes. • Create opportunities for independent projects. At 12, she could research a topic she's passionate about and present it to you, rather than you always leading the learning. • Remember that mistakes are valuable learning experiences. If she forgets an assignment or struggles with time management, resist the urge to jump in immediately. Let her figure out solutions first, then discuss what she learned from the experience. • Encourage activities where you're not present - like online study groups with other homeschool kids, community classes, or sports. Any other homeschooling moms here? Please share your ideas!

@drtoddtalks ❤ Thank you for your reply!!

@edwan1958 - A true compliment! Thank you.

Thank you!

@hopeparker5288 - I can feel the frustration and anxiety in your comment. These situations can be so difficult and I wanted to reach out with some more thoughts. I've created a video for you to address your concerns and I hope this helps! Please click this link for the video: ua-cam.com/video/NC06HQFJLKQ/v-deo.html

I’d definitely be looking at getting an ASD / ADHD assessment if this has been going on since 3yo. I live in a neurodiverse household and this is familiar. Low muscle tone in ASD sees kids walk in unusual ways, stooped posture, toe walking and walking backwards could very well be a sensory and motor issue with low muscle tone. It might be more of an issue with longer walks as she might be in discomfort. Or if she’s tired. Also if everything has been a bit much that day she will have way less tolerance for additional sensory tolerance. Look at when she does it (more) and how her day has been thus far. Also …. my daughter didn’t show many traits until puberty hit and then boom! At 13 this will probably increase in intensity along with her ability to cope. Puberty is a trigger for heightened stress and intolerance to sensory challenges. Impulsive and wreckless behaviour is a feature of ADHD. You also often hear that ASD children with lack of risk awareness. A neurological assessment might give you some answers. Good luck!

@@spicyskyraisin7745 Yes, 100% agreed! These kinds of assessments can really provide clarity. Thank you for this comment.

I’m so glad to hear that!

Thanks Frank. This is an interesting to me because "helicopter parenting" has become such a ubiquitous phrase nowadays that it wouldn't have dawned on me that not everyone would know the meaning. I appreciate this comment. The phrase “helicopter parenting” originated in the 1969 book Between Parent and Teenager by Dr. Haim Ginott, a renowned child psychologist. In the book, a teenager described his mother as hovering over him “like a helicopter,” always present and overly involved in his life. This vivid metaphor caught on, capturing the way some parents were beginning to watch over their children intensely, intervening frequently to manage situations. The term became widely popular in the 1990s and early 2000s as more parents exhibited highly involved, overly protective parenting styles. By then, “helicopter parenting” was commonly used to describe parents who were deeply invested in their children’s lives-often to the point of handling schoolwork, sports, or social interactions for them. It’s now part of a larger lexicon of parenting styles, describing parents who, rather than encouraging independence, often stay overly close, intervening to shield their children from potential failures or hardships.

@@drtoddtalks Thank you so much, Dr. Todd, for sharing this very interesting subject!

Very kind of you, thank you.

@miakarakaki4062 -- I made you a video. Please click here: ua-cam.com/video/1AccsYFy-P0/v-deo.html

Hi @miakarakaki4062. A 2 year old does need you to do just about everything, so I wouldn't worry about being a helicopter mom. The general rule of thumb is to not do for your children what they can and should do for themselves. 2 year olds pretty much can't do anything for themselves. But you can start small and let them make choices (example - give them 2 outfits to choose from), have them help you clean up messes, and things like that. Even little kids can do work but mostly that will be helping you work. That's a defining characteristic of helicopter parents - their kids don't work much. Work is the antidote to a lot of problems. I hope this helps.

@@drtoddtalks Excellent advice!

yes, lazy parents raise entitled kids. The parents don't want to argue or put up with tantrums, so they don't do their job. They don't parent. Parent is a verb.

You are welcome!

Haha. There is some truth to the bleak picture you just painted. One of your statements reminds me of an interesting statistic I recently came across -- The #1 predictor of less likely substance abuse in adolescents is the number of family meals they have in a week. Having time to just be together really is important. Creating small rituals of connection can have a profound effect on our kids.

Dealing with an anxious child can be very difficult. They do want you to do too much for them and it can be exhausting. But if you do that, you are preventing them from developing the skills they will need for life. Anxiety, even if it's genetic in nature, is very treatable. It requires exposure to doing the things that your child doesn't want to do. So with a really anxious kid, you can still be gentle but firm. You walk the line of being nurturing, but also requiring them to do difficult things. As a general rule, don't to things for them that they can and should be doing for themselves. And be flexible and understand that with some really anxious kids, they have to grow into being comfortable doing things. My very socially outgoing 26 year old daughter used to cry if I made her order herself while at a restaurant. I would bribe with money and nothing worked. But she did grow out of it and we had a great relationship and at the same time made her do hard things.

@drtoddtalks I do make her do things. I grew up with parents who raised us to be independent as teenagers even while being there for us. I am doing the same thing with her. It's exhausting having to force her to do things, though. She also has severe attachment issues, which make it harder.

@@TruckerWife Good for you. Attachment definitely makes it harder.

Agreed!! I think these principles apply to all relationships.

💯

Yes yes yes!!!

Religion comes from the latin word _religare_ that is joining something that was separated, so, you establish a relationship with God, throught religion

That's exactly what my name means in Hebrew! GOD IS WITH US!!!!😊

Man, I'm sorry you've had to go through all of this. I've lost some close friends to suicide, and although that's nothing compared to a child, I've learned that even despite our best efforts, there may still not be things we are able to do or completely prevent. You sound like you are a great dad, thank you for your comments here.

Hi Cindy. Yes, you are absolutely right and I like how you put it. We still want our kids, even if they have unique circumstances like being on the spectrum, to learn how to cope and handle the real world. But with kids on the spectrum, we have to be more flexible and patient. They tend to get overwhelmed more easily, are more easily frustrated and rigid, so it's a slower process to get them there. So keep trying to help him cope, and remember that it will take longer and have more ups and downs, but you're doing the right thing.

All kids need different parenting styles...it's exhausting trying to be the mom my kid needs me to be...to all 4 of my kids. Also, 3 out of 4 have Autism/ADHD.

@@psychicrenegade You are right. Each child's needs and makeup are unique and we need to tailor our approach as much as possible. That said, if you have the foundation of being emotionally connected to them, and also being a credible parent, you've got most of the battle won right there. I empathize with your situation - 3 of 4 kids with Autism/ADHD is going to require a lot from you!

@Audrey-k2h there certainly is something self-serving about it, for sure.

@@drtoddtalksI agree but there’s always more to a story. Sometimes we speak up through our kids. Parents are being arrested at school meetings and board meetings. Why?because they are not allowed to speak and address their concerns. I’m a Latino American that over the last 3 years has moved in the direction of putting a maga hat and i been voting democrat my entire life. I picked up my son at school and broke into tears when I saw him. He’s 6 years old and was dressed in full drag. 😢 it was mid spring and apparently I didn’t know school was celebrating gender bender day. I was escorted out by police for asking why I was informed. My son clearly looks at me and said dad I just want to make my teacher happy. 😢 😢 I couldn’t be mad at him, I wouldn’t regardless but please don’t cross the line. My son and I want to be his influence not the school. Stick to education. Health education not sex education like they have now. Only until you live it. Can u understand. The school are being used by the government to promote and influence their twisted experiments

​@@luisfontanez1770This comment has nothing to do with this video. If you want to argue and debate about politics take that mess somewhere else since you cant control yourself. People are hear to learn from this man not argue and debate about your maga and democrat issues.

You're welcome Heather! I've got more on teens on my podcast if you're interested: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dr-todd-talks/id1715156384?i=1000639932512

@nathangill8404 I guess it depends on how much harm was done. For one, you can choose to be different as a parent or in any of your relationships. That that's one thing you can do. If you've been seriously harmed, it's a good idea to look into professional help, especially with someone that is experienced with trauma types of therapy. And then back to your relationships, learn all you can and be the kind of parent you needed.

Huh what do u mean by healing ???

maybe you need to do some reading ​@@QdogsTruthThis is emotional and psychological abuse, both of which produce poor outcomes and even physical damage to a developing brain

@ashleebennett8957 I’m with you, coercion breeds short-term compliance and long-term resentment and trauma and destroys relationships. I’m sorry you went through that but glad you’re out and can see it for what it is. Now you get to be a different kind of parent!

Ashlee I'm so so sorry to hear this. I really hope you're making progress and learning to navigate life more fully. Has anything improved?

Thanks @dadonthetube. Please follow my new podcast which addresses this and many other issues. I also have a parenting course that does a very deep dive into the specifics of staying connected with our teens and kids. My podcast link is: podcasts.helloaudio.fm/playlistPlayer?feedId=70ceceaa-2b60-4d8d-9049-8e188519f66a&code=GEeuLgwzOi&fullFeed=true

@@drtoddtalks thank you!

What a kind comment Rachael! Thank you for this. I truly appreciate your encouragement.

Thanks Dianne!

That's the key Eleni :)

Agreed Cathryn! What an advantage for you that you learned at such a young age to be competent and capable. I bet that has served you well in life.

@@tcorelli, yep, learned a lot from my dad. I’m a veterinarian, horse breeder and trainer and rancher and I’ve got my own ranch now at age 25.

@@JacquelineGroves Good for you Cathryn.

It's worse than that. Yeah, wile some want to wrap kids in bubble wrap, others want to abuse the ingrown ignorance placed on kids also. They full well know that kids wraped in bubble wrap, are easy to confuse, and mislead. That is why we have so many who are part of the woke mob, waning to infiltrate schools as teachers, so they can inject such ideas of being gay or trans over to kids. Kids who has not likely had any talking to by anyone on the topic of sex, just yet. So talking to kids about a much more complex topic that is merely related to our sex and sexual dimorphism, such as what it is to be gay or trans will only serve to be both confusing and uncomfortable for most any of them to be exposed to at school wile at a young age. The kind of age so many teachers today are trying to teach kids about being gay and trans. Or confuse kids with talk of CRT. As though we need to teach kids how to be a bigot, to anyone of any color. Not. >.>

That’s awesome and you’re right; agree 100%

Thank you!

That style is called authoritative parenting.

I am so sorry that happened, no child deserves to have hands put upon them in anger. Wishing you all the best, so much healing and love ❤️