Like many of you, I've had questions about BDSM for a long time. I've had preconceived ideas of what it was and wondered how it fits into my faith and the style of intimate play my wife and I enjoy.
I have also received emails and DMS from many of you listeners asking me about BDSM in the context of a faithful Christian marriage. I've been hesitant in doing an episode about this for a long time, until I found the right guest.
I used to think BDSM was dark and evil--a thinly disguised form of rape, aggression, and violence. I also thought it was antisocial if it was about enjoying inflicting pain on others, in some sort of a sick and twisted way. But then again, even a couple in a "vanilla" missionary position could be doing it with dark and evil intent. While sex in vanilla missionary position or BDSM play can be done in a loving, faithful, beautiful, playful, and deeply erotic way that deepens a couple's connections.
In short, it's not really the act, but the intention behind the act that really matters.
After listening to this episode, you may want to try some of this couple's suggestions to enhance the joy and intimacy in your marriage.
I met Alan and his lovely wife Leila through a men's group that I belong to. They're a faithful, wonderful, and upstanding couple married for nearly three decades.
I'm very grateful that they were kind and courageous enough to come on my podcast to share their experience with BDSM. They answered many of my questions and I hope you find this episode really insightful, too.
Note that this is going to be a two part episode. This is part 1 with part 2 being released next week.
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Couples Retreat - An intensive, romantic, and life-changing weekend that will strengthen your marriage and sexual intimacy. (getyourmarriageon.com/couples-retreat/)
Virtual Lovemaking Retreat - Easily accessible due to its virtual nature, this retreat on February 14th-15th is the perfect Valentines gift to you and your spouse! Stay tuned for updates on this exciting retreat! (getyourmarriageon.com/next-levels-virtual-lovemaking-retreat/)
 Men's Only and Women's Only small group coaching program -  The next cohort starts January 22nd. We meet weekly for 12 weeks to do a deep dive into the intimacy of your marriage. And this includes a comprehensive course and all materials and coaching to help you apply everything you learn. You'll walk away from this three month program a better husband or wife and power to take your marriage to the next level. (getyourmarriageon.com/mens-coaching/ and getyourmarriageon.com/womens-coaching/)