Відео

So please bare with me because this is going to be a long post, but it's about our DD journey and how we ended up adopting the dynamic. It really shows how DD can be much more than just some kink or role play. For us it is very real, and is literally the air our relationship breathes. To give you a little background, my wife and I are 56 and 55 (respectively). We've been married for 30 years, and have 3 boys (ages 25, 22 and 21). For 30 years, I owned my own businesses, and she was a stay at home mom once our boys started being born. She was the quintessential "June Cleaver" type homemaker. She took care of the boys, fixed all the meals, did the shopping, house cleaning and laundry, and I made the money to maintain our lifestyle. In short, we had clearly defined roles. Problem was, I was a business owner, and as time went on, rather than treating her as a partner, I was treating her more like an employee albeit with "fringe benefits". She hung in there and didn't give up on things...that is, until the boys were all gone off to college or started working. I came home one day after work to see divorce papers sitting on the kitchen table. I read them, and then proceeded to go into our room, and there was my wife with her bags packed and getting ready to leave me. I asked her if there was any way I could change her mind, and I'll never forget what she said: "You have been taking advantage of me and ABUSING ME for 25 years...I stayed for the boys, but the man that romanced me, pursued me, and married me has been gone a long time. I'm just some kind of employee to you. The mental abuse you've put me through was worse than any physical abuse in my opinion, and I can't take it anymore." And with that, she left and went to her friends. I was left to sit in that house alone and do nothing but reflect and think of how the hell I got here. After a couple of days, she had agreed to have lunch to see if we could amicably do things or if lawyers were going to need to be involved. I figured I had to find a way to win her back. We had been to counseling many times before, but it never really changed anything, so that was out. I decided to try something really unusual. I asked her to go with me to see someone and present us with an option to fix things. She rolled her eyes and said "Counselors haven't worked...I'm not wasting my time on that again!". I explained to her, that we needed a complete lifestyle change if things were going to be fixed, and that it required a drastic and non-conventional approach to solving our problem. Her eyebrows raised and she said: "Go on...". I proceeded to tell her I wanted her to meet with a dominatrix who specialized in DD lifestyles. I explained to her it was not about sex, but rather about a whole lifestyle dynamic. She RELUCTANTLY agreed to meet with her and hear what she had to say. We met with her at a coffee house and after introductions, she got a serious look on her face, and looked at my wife and said: "Your husband tells me he has taken advantage of you and your kindness and as a result, you feel under loved and under appreciated. Is that a fair statement?" My wife answered in the affirmative. At this point, the Domme looked at me and said: "This is how it has to be. You have to PROOVE you want her back. No words will do it, only actions. For the next two weeks, you need to SERVE HER and do anything she asks of you. No questions asked, only total submission. After two weeks, you will meet me back here, and we'll see if you are worthy to be in a relationship with her.". I had to pay her $500 for the two consults, but it was cheaper than a divorce, and I did truly love my wife and want her back. So my wife moved back in to try and work things out. For two weeks, I was on my best behavior, always putting her needs first and doing anything she asked of me around the house. Dishes, laundry, cleaning, in addition to all my outside chores and working at my companies. It was a LONG 2 WEEKS!!! We then met back at the coffee house, and the Domme asked point blank: "How'd he do?". She said that I did great and she enjoyed being pampered for a change. But she expressed that she felt it wouldn't last over a long period of time and wasn't sustainable. The Domme looked at my wife and said: "What if I could teach you how to COMPEL HIM to stay the course?". My wife was intrigued and agreed to hear her out since the initial experiment had been successful. We agreed to meet at her dungeon and have a tandem session to show her how to keep me motivated to maintain the dynamic. Two days later, we were in her dungeon and the Domme began laying things out for my wife. She started: "Your husband is merely in need of guidance and a strong hand. I am going to introduce you to domestic discipline. In this dynamic, one partner is the HoH or head of household. The other is a subordinate or submissive who agrees to accept that the HoH holds all the power and authority and their word is final. The sub further agrees to be disciplined in any way the HoH sees fit if they are not holding up their part of the agreement. There are hard and soft limits as you will both agree and you can choose to have safe words or not, and can agree to types of punishments and what each infraction would earn. It really is a fluent lifestyle that can be modified or catered to anyone's situation." She then looked at me and asked: "Do you agree to submit to your wife's authority for the next 25 years as she submitted to you?". That statement hit me like a freight train. What a jerk I had been. It was worse than any physical abuse I could have given her. I agreed to submit as I desperately wanted to save our marriage. She said to my wife: "You have been a nurturing, loving and submissive wife for 25 years. That needs to change if you want to truly save your marriage. You have to become assertive, demanding and actually put yourself first for a change. Your husband spent the last two weeks showing you he is capable of putting you first, but he needs a strong hand and frequent reminders to keep him on that path. Are you willing to let me show you how to make him compliant? It is going to seem severe, but he needs this and has agreed to it." She said she was willing to try. With that, the Domme ordered me to strip from the waist down and bend over her punishment bench. I was secured at the ankles, hands, thighs and elbows, with a strap tight over my back. In short, I was completely immobilized. She spent the next two hours utilizing every implement she had and letting my wife try them on my backside a few strokes each to perfect her technique and see which ones she felt worked best. There were several paddles, canes, whips, tawses and even some electro shock was experimented with. The ones that drew the sharpest reactions from me were the large oak paddles and the cable whips. The electo stim devices made my wife cringe a little, but she saw how compliant they made me. I was marked up quite a bit and bawling for a lot of it, but the Domme assured my wife it was needed. Once I was allowed up, I kissed my wife deeply and thanked her for punishing me. Needless to say, she was SHOCKED!!! She had not seen me so emotional or thankful toward her since our kids were born. It was then, she felt we were on to something. After the session, the Domme told us we needed to write things down and agree to our custom dynamic and said that if we ever needed any advice, she was there to help. We talked all the way home and agreed to make DD our new lifestyle. This was our journey. Not everyone's is the same, so I thought I'd share it with you in the hopes that some might see DD as more than some kink or fetish. It is a tool for us. A marriage tool. It's counseling. It addresses an issue, puts it front and center, and has mechanisms to deal with conflict that in my opinion are very effective. My wife now shares how it makes her feel better after she disciplines me. She even says to me sometimes: "I know it may sound sadistic, but it is very satisfying and therapeutic to me to hear that paddle or whip swoosh and thwack your backside when I punish you for not doing your part in our dynamic!". She even giggles evilly sometimes while punishing me and doesn't even flinch anymore if I bleed a little after a severe thrashing. She just tosses the implement on the bed afterward, and says: "Next time maybe you'll do what I tell you!". Over the last few years, we've tried a great many implements, rule sets, and ways to keep things fresh. But in short, DD saved our marriage. It was very hard to broach the subject, and I had to do it out of necessity, and it took my wife being open minded enough to give it a try. Not many wives would meet with a Domme for their husband. I was lucky that she was equally desperate to try and save our marriage!!! God I love her for that!!!

Love these stories, love to hear more

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I'm curious if you were ok with spanking as a punishment for kids as well as in your ddl lifestyle?How is this handled and kept separate if this makes sense?

This is great! Thank you so much!!

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How often are you punished? Why is maintenance necessary?

Love this, I like hearing just your thoughts!

What should I do when I lose my submissive mindset? How do the two of you navigate that?

Wait..what?

I actually had the opportunity to punish my TiH before she went to work. She struggled with compliance because she hadn't been punished for this issue for a very long time. Some of those initial punishments became severe because it was breaking a very stubborn behavior which reappeared after a couple of years. She started out and got into position. I agree that I didn't help conduct her through preparation. She was expecting the paddling to be more severe than what I imagined for it. Because of that, we will probably need to go through another punishment that is more focused and properly administered.

Hard spanking often brings tears

Can you please make a video on how you journaled or some ideas on how to write some of these things down. Im having trouble starting to write a plan and concepts to bring up to my husband. Thank you! ❤

Awesome awesome information! Thank you!

I want my husband to spank me for my foul mouth but he won't! I really want to change and think this could help. How do I convince him? I've sent him a few podcasts but I don't think that he has listened to them. Help

have you actually broken any habits with domestic discipline?

Save BDSM for the bedroom with your spouse. Stop involving your children in your power fantasies.

We’re can I find out how to get your video?

Is there any doubt that the punishment would be a spanking

I would be interested in the video form

Yes if you knowling violate a rule

I’m new to your podcast and I am a nightly

Having children around is a problem

Getting yourself back into your role

So it’s like a reboot

Showing the person the instrument that you are going to use

I find that on a OTK spanking might be hard if the person moves around a lot

Told that if you repeat this it will be worse

All of this things are great

Made to ask for your punishment

Scholding

Made to go get a switch

Let the person think about the punishment

Tal😮tall about it before l

Spanking over wet clothing is also good

No spanking over heavy clothing doesn’t work

And seeing the red bottom

All really great points

And like you said to be more vonerable

I think that bare bottom spanking is necessary for the humaltion

Crying let your top know that he or she has accomplished their goal

I suppose that you have to release your mind

Crying I think makes a person feel better

❤❤❤ love this

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loved this

Wow you nailed it this is what I needed to here

Wow good info

I have same relationship but I’m the man that gets corrected the wife does so I can lead our family and be great man that can love my wife swatts help my bipolar and depression and anxiety her verbal warnings make me feel loved the paddle hurts but latter feels tickle sensation and hot feeling and puts me in headspace were I am attracted to her more so it’s definitely love with out sex being involved real Domestic disaplen I’m 42 she’s 44 I’m immature and have learning disabilities this is something I seek her to do and it’s been wonderful I am taking notes from you all strange I always caught spankings when I was a kid and almost got paddled at school and did iss instead I was terrified now I seek real painful whoopens and afraid not to have this as medication takes your sex drive and I don’t medicate with drugs or alcohol spanking really saved our marriage on top of our love for Christ and going to church study Bible and prayers ❤

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