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@@iamjustsaying4787 it's true that the circumstances of many families mean that then it isn't "worth" it for both spouses to work - it's just that it's a vulnerable position to be in.

@@seeya205 this is not at all rare. If he can't afford rent there wasn't much there to begin with.

@@estrellapereira3108 the only clarification I would make here is that if men feel "stripped," that's a problem with them - what is divided is what was earned during the marriage. No court is giving women things they don't have a legal entitlement to receive! I'm so glad to hear though that it all worked out for you and that you and your kids are thriving now! That's the most important thing!

@@brad1367 it's not divorce that breaks them.

@@joee7626 I have no idea what you're talking about. Science fiction? This is not reality.

@@YourGirlfriendNeedsaDivorce He is not wrong and over 80% of divorces are initiated by women.

​@@YourGirlfriendNeedsaDivorce he's clearly ventured into the darkest corners of the Internet and believes they're reality.

@@Neoteny374 it's not reparations. It's recognition that her earning potential is not the same, especially after being a stay at home mom. It's an effort to be equitable, too - why should he go on living at the standard of living that was achieved with her help and support while she lives at or below the poverty line? Whatever was earned was earned together. He couldn't have earned what he earned without her participation and support. If he's paying that much, he's a very high wage earner - good for them! Sounds like their partnership was a good one, at least economically, while it lasted.

@@douglasharbert3340 the difference is that you're a little confused. You're categorizing things that are marital as yours - because in divorce we're not dividing things that are truly separate property. You just think you have a greater entitlement to it - for literally no reason other than your internalized misogyny. Women are waiving things that should be theirs - though hopefully in far fewer numbers after they see my content! I'm small today but suspect I'll grow. We'll see!

@@YourGirlfriendNeedsaDivorce Internalized misogyny, eh? Yeah, good luck using that argument in court. I can hear the judge laughing from here...😂

@@douglasharbert3340 oh gosh I don't need to say that to the judge! All she needs is the dates of marriage and dates of contribution to the assets in question.

@@YourGirlfriendNeedsaDivorce But that is your reasoning behind it. Just listen to yourself. You assume that men have "internalized misogyny". That's like accusing someone of being "inherently racist". Looks like someone needs to check her bias...😉

@@YourGirlfriendNeedsaDivorce Just noticed that you also assume the judge is going to be female, or maybe that's what you're going for in order to stack the deck. Sounds about feminist...😉

@@fasia8250 I will never understand - but also am hopeful that there can be change.

@@juliah4359 it is a global problem! Or, at least, a western problem. There are some efforts at reform in the UK now that seem promising.

@@YourGirlfriendNeedsaDivorce I don't know how the situation in the UK is. Here it is a deeply rooted systemic problem. For example misogynistic fathers' rights groups have a strong political influence and they have also funded and organised trainings for Youth Welfare officers as well as for Guardians at litem. This is why Parental Alienation Syndrome and Equal shared parenting are so popular in German family courts.

@@kimtalbot4373 it's awful! I don't understand it! There's a new study out of the UK on judges turning a blind eye to these things. It's all down to power and control.

@YourGirlfriendNeedsaDivorce I agree!There was 1 judge out of about 15 who was actually good but I was only in his courtroom a few times over the 10 years I was dragged thru Family Court.

@@kimtalbot4373 there needs to be so much more accountability

@@smallfaucet I don't recall intentionally deleting anything, even some pretty nasty things. But yeah, I'm relatively new here and some things get more comments and engagement than others. You can see in my other videos - it's not like I delete the mean things. They're all there!

@@MikeMcKinlay in virginia that could wind you up in jail!

@@NM-oi8mw I'm not divorced; I'm a family lawyer. But, yes, it is usually the dads paying support for a couple of reasons but it usually boils down to being the higher wage earner and/or having less parenting time. A number of things go into the overall support calculation and it can vary a little by state.

@@Neoteny374 it's not criminal. It's civil. It's not a question of conviction - it's a question, in a custody case, of best interests of the child. DV cases - cases involving coercive control, cases involving trauma or CAMS - often don't have the kind of evidence you'd need to convict in a criminal sense. It doesn't mean that there isn't any evidence or that conclusions can't reasonably be drawn. Also - many of these children are forced into situations where they suffer further abuse or are murdered.

@@YourGirlfriendNeedsaDivorce I had to look up what 'repeal 19' meant, but I see why it's being suggested.

@@Nonplused oh, no - women definitely do. They are often willing to buy their freedom at whatever cost, especially if there's a big discrepancy in income and she worries she can't withstand the litigation or is the victim of abuse.

@@YourGirlfriendNeedsaDivorce You are saying "some" women walk away from marital assets? I suppose some men do too. If the assets are not substantial it is often not worth fighting over them due to litigation costs. Also, equity in the home (or anywhere else) acquired before the marriage is often not subject to being split as "marital equity", so in a hypothetical example where one spouse owned a house outright before the marriage, and then a short time later the marriage failed, the other spouse is going to have a hard time arguing for half the house. Typically they will get half of any change in the house's value that accrued during the marriage (which can in theory also be negative). But if there are substantial marital assets and either spouse is walking away, they need a better lawyer. For me, the measure of "substantial" would be whether the assets in question are worth more than the legal bills and the grief associated with settling it at court. For example, it's silly to fight over home furnishings, which typically aren't worth very many hours of a lawyer's time. A house with no equity subject to marital asset splitting would be the same. Often times the question that is more pertinent is who is going to get stuck with the debt. The question of debt is also very complicated. For example, it is common for one or both spouses to bring in substantial student loan debt to the marriage, and it is typically the woman with more primarily due to age differences and the fact that women attend college in higher numbers than men (these days). So does the other party get half the student debt? It depends entirely on when it was acquired. During the marriage; yes, prior to the marriage; no.

@@Nonplused The state has rules about what qualifies as marital or separate property. But yes - some women do not have the resources to fight over assets to which they'd otherwise be entitled. In other cases, they don't want to risk his anger or retribution. I can't just strong arm my clients into litigation that they can't afford - whether monetarily or emotionally. I give advice, but the choices are theirs to make.

@@YourGirlfriendNeedsaDivorce Yes well that's fair. Some things aren't worth fighting over. But I bet you never had a client walk away from a million dollar settlement.

@@Nonplused I try to encourage them never to walk away from anything - that's actually what I'm trying to do here. Often they don't know the full extent of what they're walking away from - and I don't, either, if she opts not to do formal discovery and doesn't have access to that information herself. It's complicated. It does create a cycle of vulnerability, though, especially if he's the kind of man who is willing to walk away and leave her destitute. There are good men out there, of course, but mostly the women in these situations are not married to them.

@@sailingwiththegods538 marriage is a partnership.

@@frankworley-lopez2282 you're on the wrong channel, for sure.

@@DVul stay clear? Of ... what? I'm already married, so not entertaining advances from random misogynists on the internet. I also only represent women, so it's not like professionally there's any risk either. Don't want to watch my videos? Scroll on.

@@GildedZ i envision this part as more of an interior monologue - am I where I wanted to be or not? - but there's no question that in a real marriage, in real life, there are many such conversations.

@@Channelinterrupted thanks for the support! I get a lot of hate on this channel in particular - which I get - but its hard to get behind either forcing people to stay in unhappy or unhealthy marriages or denying them access to what was earned during it. Marriage is a partnership of two people supporting each other.

@@GildedZ I'm so sorry that you experienced that. You must have been very world wise to realize the implications so young, too - that must have been hard on your heart. I hope you - and your mom - are doing well now.

@@YourGirlfriendNeedsaDivorce It's been years since. I found a way to cope. It was not until last year that my country finally passed legislation to crack down on deadbeat parents, by putting them in a registry that would not allow them to get new driver licenses or get out of the country - until they paid up. Pressure from the public finally made it happen.

@@GildedZ I love that! We should implement that here, too.

@@mattsmith817 *whether. And, no, I don't think you have a solid understanding of alimony.

@@mikehunt5637 right back at ya!

@@YourGirlfriendNeedsaDivorce That is a response that I would expect from someone in high school.

@@mikehunt5637 kind of like your user name

@@YourGirlfriendNeedsaDivorce Again, another childish response. Mike Hunt isn't my "user name", it is my name, or rather Michael Hunt, but yes, my friends and family call me Mike, and Michael Hunt is my birth name. I understand being teased about this in high school, but not from a grown adult. If you really are a lawyer, I am sorry for any client who employs your services.

@@mikehunt5637 I assumed you chose it to be funny. I'm sorry - that's unfortunate, but I had no way of knowing. It's a common joke name. In any case, I stand by my initial response - if your wife is leaving you, you have the opportunity to be a better spouse too. It's hard for me to understand why so many men are determined to trap women in marriages that aren't working but are unwilling to do the work to improve the marriage. The women who I see are doing the work - have done the work for years - and are tired of being alone in their marriages.

@@delocon rewarded? By receiving an equitable share in what they helped build?

@@YourGirlfriendNeedsaDivorce Let's be honest here, you wait at the finish line and you pick the winners, then you take them for all their worth.

@@delocon ....what? If that were true, it would be separate assets because they're already earned. What's divided in divorce is what was earned during the marriage - hardly the "finish line"

@@YourGirlfriendNeedsaDivorce Women don't pick loser men with nothing to marry, they pick established men. They can then cheat on those men, or just flat out decide "I'm not happy" and abandon the marriage. If she decides to accuse the husband of domestic or sexual abuse, true or not it will work even better in her favor. They will then, as you have in this thread, describe basic necessities of living as "unpaid labour" painting themselves as victims in the relationship. More and more of us are done. We'll keep our shit, and the women we do have relationships with will be told straight up that marriage isn't happening, and for many of us, you're not even getting cohabitation. This is the bed you're making, enjoy sleeping in it.

@@Neoteny374 definitely not the way it works here! I've seen plenty of women - mostly by agreement, mind you - willing to buy their freedom at whatever cost.

@@YourGirlfriendNeedsaDivorce OK. I get your angle. Look, I certainly feel for the women that need to bargain(submit) for thier "freedom" (safety).

@@Neoteny374 I see what you're saying - and yes, if you go to court the judge will often give you your marital share. But the most vulnerable women won't be able to afford to get that far at all; they've given up (and don't have the resources to fight anyway) long before that point. It's like the analogy of the poor man and the boots, have you seen that? He can't afford a $50 pair that'll last forever so he buys a $10 pair every year for ten or fifteen years - it's expensive, right? Litigation is like that. If you just plain can't afford the retainer for a contested divorce you can't even mount a defense to obtain your entitlement - even if that entitlement is literally ten times the retainer amount!

@@tiabiamama i literally have a case exactly like this right now! It's insane to me. Who cares? The stigma is so gross.

@@godswillm575 I'm so glad this resonates! Not always, of course, but ... high conflict divorces can be crazy.

@@XAn0nymousX0 probably a good choice for you if you don't believe in equity of any kind for both partners.

@YourGirlfriendNeedsaDivorce It's so wild watching feminists still treat marriage traditionally. Equity would only be important to you because you're looking for a man that's better than you in every single way to improve your quality of life and status. Thought we were about equality these days? What about 2 partners on the same level building their life together? As long as ya'll continue to treat marriage like a buffet line, you can expect to die alone.

@@XAn0nymousX0 it's men who are more likely to be single! But, no - it's not a buffet line. There are inequities at every stage and both partners support each other, though not necessarily equally from a financial standpoint, especially once children come into the equation. Families make all sorts of different decisions, and that's fine - but you can't expect only one to pay for it while the other is free to go on as if he had no responsibility for joint decisions.

@@hongolloyd8728 lawyers who love it the most practice in an area other than family law

@@De_Lus well, I think that depends on what you're looking for. I got married for love and because I had found someone I wanted to raise children with and build a life with. But just because I got married doesn't mean that I give my husband a blank check to abuse or control me, either. If it's not a partnership, I - and a lot of other women - don't want it. It's possible that what you're bringing to the table is just not something that women want and that's less a problem with marriage than with... well, you.

@@YourGirlfriendNeedsaDivorce lol you said it yourself its what you are looking for... it should not be something what you are looking for. marriage should be about love and thats it,nothing else and here you are giving advice on how to abuse the marriage system. beyond that, there is no reason for you to personal attack me like that. thats kind of predjudice of you. there just is no point to marriage anymore especcialy in this day and age and with that i think you have even proven my point if this is your reaction on me just simply sharing my opinion

@@De_Lus marriage - historically - has not been about love. In any case, both now and then, there's a lot of economics behind it. I'm not suggesting anyone abuse the system; I'm suggesting they make sure they're aware of how the system works so that they don't get taken advantage of. This happens all too often. Your comment that you don't know why to get married suggests to me that it's not about love for you and also that you're not even married.

@@YourGirlfriendNeedsaDivorce no i don't even want to, i am staying single like a lot of men are doing the pro's don't outweight the con's, like getting evidence in a trial case to get a heads up for in court is kinda of sick entrapment in my opinion. its all about the money so, again and i repeat my statement there is no point in getting married anymore. we can talk back and ford about this but its not gonna change. the way the world is like

not one single positive comment i read here on this video, so i don't know whats the point in debating. i don't even understand why youtube would want to adress me this women fashion magazine garbage nonsense talk