Відео

What do you mean by “not accommodating their anxiety”? That doesn’t make sense to me in light of you saying their main problem is anxiety and “their battery of tolerance”. Also arent choices/rewards a type of manipulation?

Excellent episode!

It is wrong to view this behavior as wrong. It is natural for humans not to comply with slavery.

Would you say all this is true for special needs and especially PDA kiddos? Is her anxiety all my fault? She shouldn’t have a 504? The teacher shouldn’t be giving her more options to lessen demands which are working to get her to complete classwork and lowering school refusal?

"Pathological" demand avoidance. A pathology is a disease. I think people who waste the most valuable resource, time, on things they hate are the sick ones. .. I have to yell at myself to do work to survive. Thing is, I never stop thinking about my interests, they are in my head while I slave away...

Mhh interesting..now have to take my benzos

How would a parent assist with maladaptive coping skills in young teen with PDA when positive suggestions are met with animosity and further break down? From what I see and deal with, there is a step inbetween that we really need to focus on how to accomplish this. The desire for autonomy can reject input.

'promosm'

Thx

My son desperately needs an evaluation but even looking at the Pda America website I can't seem to find anyone in my area. I am a hundred percent positive he is Pda with an extensive difficult school history and in home behaviors that were simply baffling until I found at peace parents.

Thank you Caroline! Such precious and valuable content shared in youtube for free! You explained it very well, hope your channel grows more ❤

As adult PDAers my best friend and I, in our sixties, well we were initially going to be lovers perhaps but immediatelly we both shirked from the intolerable demands inherent. Neither of us will submit to the control the other one needs to exert over every aspect of our relationship. So we live in our separate territories with an exclusion zone in the middle. We actually see each other two times a year because fixing a meeting between us comes across to both as an intolerable hyper emotion, either him or myself end up cancelling most of the attempts. Creativity is needed to maintain in time our mutual love and affection, built on absolute respect for each other's radical autonomy. A very difficult path to walk to try and stick together when we both are fiercely independent, but because we are mature adults and we value having a friend at this stage in our life, we are allowing ourselves to build and maintain a terribly impossible relationship based on 'an emotional connection at a distance'. All of it is yielding important knowledge and at the same time it is exhausting. But the connection remains strong since six years ago when we met, and I don't think at this point we can live without each other. I feel it is ok to have an eccentric relationship and everybody considers us a couple except ourselves ha ha ha Thanks a lot Dr Buzanko, it is nice to see oneself understood. Bless, Yana.

Good Evening. I am 66 years old and realise that Asperger’s did not fit but PDA does. I had covid bad and had to spend a week in hospital. Since then have been falling which it has been a lifelong problem. I now feel like I am only safe in bed and feel like I am in freeze response. It is usually fight or flight. I know you are dealing with children or teens. I just wondered what you thought. My husband is depressed, my daughter shouts at me and my son has hardly any contact with me. I can’t explain PDA to them. Can you help me what to do.? Regards. Many Thanks. Gillian

Is exposure therapy ever used with this?

You nailed it in every area! Thank you

Great informative video. So comprehensive. This is so difficult to navigate.

Looking for information that correlates PDA and adoption and early childhood trauma (the complex ptsd developmental trauma.) seems pervasive that adoptees are diagnosed with “RAD” but basically it makes more sense to look at the demand avoidance as stemming from anxiety. Especially because anxiety for adoptees is sooooo high.

01:48 it's a sub category? Of autism? Or is it a subcategory of autism?

Thank you for acknowledging thid. This was completely unaddressed in my childhood and I kept mine a secret. It sucked because my own parents were emotionally immature and would tease and bully me. I was always terrified of other females hearing me pee in public. I'm older now and I've had enough. Paruresis recovery is working. CBT therapy and graduated exposure helps too. ❤

The biggest issue with all of this... you keep saying "children" and "child". Children grow up to become adults if they live long enough. While it can be annoying for parents and induces more anxiety due to the negative responses received... it can be horrendous as an adult when you don't work out a way in life that you can exist with PDA and have some sense of peace and achievement. That isn't ever going to be "fixed" due to any intervention in childhood.

this was great thank you! Do you have specific recommendations for autistic adults with PDA? My husband is very high functioning autistic, has a good job and makes it to work but the PDA can come up sometimes and be challenging.

Sistemic family view...

Thank You for this!!!

As someone who has a minor in psychology and counseling and a bachelors in special education I believe I have children on the spectrum. I have had referrals from the pediatrician but have had a difficult time being seen by a professional due to the high volume of patients. We haven’t had any official testing but definitely have conditions impacting home and school life. I feel like I have no resources for help but cannot deny that I’m seeing all kinds of signs and symptoms. As far as PDA, we have been researching it for years and believed it to be a version of ASD. Unfortunately, we have no one in our area that I can find that can help us. We experience everything in your video and yes it is validating. I am too exhausted to be experiencing a normal family dynamic while also researching and finding solutions from my college knowledge base. I am pioneering it along with you.

So many comments haha. Not an easy phase... depending cultural expectations...

I played with an at child and it was way more productive to teach him orientation in(pseudo) low-fear situations... he felt way more orientated in the world.

Good information. thank u

There is SO much filler and unnecessary verbiage in here like “you know” that it’s almost unlistenable for anyone with ASD. Plus “kiddos” UGH.

I'm autistic and a researcher working at a Cal Poly. Autistic practitioners also call it "Personal Demand for Autonomy". I think this all comes through a pathological lens and that's a mistake. We autistic researchers are beginning to prove that most of our stress is caused by the rigidity of non-autistic folx. For example, their insistance on being able to lie, manipulate, and cheat.

I'm a PDA adult, please research me. Hlp pls lol

Do you have advice for when a child refuses to watch video modeling?

Have heard PDA called Perceived Demand Avoidance. Have had this especially when it came to school work or sometimes with family planned events and maintaining finances. Anything in my life can become a Perceived Demand and then comes the Avoidance portion. Even reading a book I bought that I had a huge excitement and there it sits because it turns into a Demand. Why??? It's awful to have to live this way. Then comes the horrible anxiety that hangs over me and the failure that's felt.

As an AUADHD with PDA Id prefer to be Pathological rather than Pervasive

This sounds utterly impossible. Do everything, anything, or nothing…they will take it as a demand.

Personal Demand Autonomy. Wanting to control your own existence and behavior.

This is amazing ❤

My 6 year old has autism and PDA is the only thing that 100% describes his behaviors. We are on our 10th major referral at school and 3rd out of school suspension. He is in 1st grade in a full time gifted class with only 6 kids in the classroom. Myself along with the entire team at his school are at a lost as to how to cope and help him with his behaviors in a school setting. Where are you located? PDA ABSOLUTELY needs to be more educated to everyone.

Mental health professionals can be and often are guilty of biases. Im not trying to be negative or trolling- I think it's important to not assume every therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, Healthcare provider in general is empathetic and good at their job. A lot of power and control focused people enter these fields. Seeking help can be traumatic because of these types of people being a vulnerable person/family "help" when they finally reach out for help.

Can we not call them "kiddos"-- so annoying.

My daughter's is so severe that you can make her fight for the opposite of what she wants by demanding she do what she wanted to do. It's been like this since she was born. She was literally like this as a baby. I used to say, "She's an infant and already wants to be treated like an adult." She didnt want to be held, she wanted me to *hold her like she was walking* untill she could actually walk. Then, she never wanted "up" What is the difference between ODD and PDA?

A very helpful resource. Thank you.

This is a fantastic overview. Thanks so much.

What kind of therapy would best help PDA kids? Would CBT be a good fit?

Great video 😀

i have a problem like this: when im at the doctor. im hi on anxiaty. when she takes be blood pressure. my blood presure is high too

I’m a fan. Hello from New Zealand!

This is Great advice Dr. Caroline . Your advice is Great. you are very smart and intelligent. But sometimes seeking someone's attention can lead to negative consequences. When I was 7 years old I was always trying to get my Fathers attention. But my Father kept ignoring me. One day I decided to stand up to my Father and confront him. I said to my Father. What the HELL are you Doing ! My Father did give me his attention and a SPANKING. smiles

What you are saying, for me, is utterly valuable in understanding how fear and anxiety are produced and maintained. Thank you! However, your facial expressions, reinforced by wide-eyed movements towards the camera, in themselves are anxiety producing. If you are not aware of these, please become aware. My response is to turn off the visuals so that I am able to focus on your excellent content.

This is incredible. Keep the solid work and thank you!!