Відео

ua-cam.com/video/DqakHWlsQco/v-deo.htmlsi=tNED4_OhtxhW1E3H

I have met infjs and have an infj bestie...but unfortunately its true...they do backstab...and in the least worse case they leave you high and dry...the thing is they know what they doing is wrong because its difficult to deceive them even by themselves...but the thing is i have noticed that their moral is not so strong..another thing is just because you empathise with the opposite type doesnot mean thry are right...they have trouble differentiating between understanding criminals and excusing them...usually they dillude themselves saying they are too nice when truly they just lack the decision making standards...dont get me wrong they are nice people but very often they disguise their undecisiveness as intellectualism as in we should think about this more just so that we cant make a decision and life just takes it for us... -infp Ps there are many positives too...thats why i am friends with many...but it is just my infp cynicism 😅😅😅 i find faults in everything..atleast i accept the realest version of you...😅😅😅😅 Sry again if i hurt feelings

Some of the themes about people “being themselves” relate back to another one of your videos of INTP’s having this weird concept of people rather than seeing them physically as they are. Many of my crushes feel the exact same way and I see it as motives/incentive. like you said about people “trying to be likable” INTP’s can see what you’re trying to get at and won’t entertain it if it’s punching us in the face. But keeping your motives/incentive to yourself and letting the actions speak for you is what i believe to be the preferred style to communicate with INTP’s romantically. Great vid as always🙏🏾

INFJ male here, I prefer calling over text.

"I'm so smart because I can do bad things and know I'm doing bad things, and that makes me better than you." Okay, but that still doesn't make you good. That's like saying that it's better to cover yourself in shit, and when people tell you that you smell bad you smile wide and tell them "Why yes I do smell like shit!"

Hi . I watched your video it was very informative & details really great video . I also wanna say that the only INFJ i know i ended up not liking her that much because of how they speak about others while not being able to see themselves in a similar light , BUT i also don't want to believe that this isn't just everything for them as people not only as a type . I mean at the end INFJs are just humans like everyone may have many facets & manifestations, life journey & struggles they go through to be better Also many of my favorite celebraties who are INFJ I don't think they could fit into the 3 types of INFJ you mentioned like : brit marling, tom Hiddleston , amy adams & Benedict Cumberbatch Finally I'm not mentioning this as a disagreement but i think there might be more manifestations & that within one type there could be unexpected suprises . Hopefully that this isn't everything for INFJs.

I saw there is some discourse about being bad or evil in the comments and it got me thinking a bit about that topic in general. What I'm thinking might be bs, but still I feel the need to share my thoughts. I think that at times, or maybe most of the time, when a person is doing something bad, it comes in the form of not doing enough good in a given situation or avoiding doing the good thing and staying ignorant, at least that's how it works for me. I either avoid the problem at hand, which is bad, because when you aren't dealing with an issue that means you're letting it worsen or I help a little bit but not nearly as much as it would be morally obligatory (not sure if that's the right word though). Example: sometimes I see homeless dudes begging for money for food. I used to ignore them (sometimes I still do) and make up excuses because I feel guilty. Because I felt that the right thing would be to help them in some way, so I started buying them something to eat, but honestly, I still don't think I'm doing something good. First of all, I never give them any money, because I'm somewhat prejudiced and don't trust them to spend it wisely (which probably is an excuse, low level evil basically). Second of all, I'm too anxious (again, an excuse not to do the right thing) to ask them more about their situation and maybe give them some advice or just provide emotional support which they might appreciate. Moreover I could probably let them stay over at my house if I didn't have a problem with explaining to my parents why I'm bringing this homeless dude for a sleepover (for the third time, while a somewhat valid argument it's just another justification for not doing the right thing). With this example I'm trying to say that most of the times (for me at least) being evil means just not doing the right thing, or doing a bit of the right thing just to back off when it gets uncomfortable. Sorry if my grammar is bad, I'm not a native speaker. Also I just kind of spewed out my thoughts without properly structuring or wording them, so if something's not clear, I'll try to explain when I find time.

As an infp female who had small interactions with entj...i just dont have time or mental strength...i am already busy with my intense emotion and weak physical strength...trying out different combination sof approaches...so...yeah..no. i gel well with infj and intp and istj suprisingly...they are so supportive😅

I have taken the 16 personality test 4 times and watched several videos to be sure i was correct I relate to both infj and intj but I believe that the only difference is that I'm more fe. I have noticed that thousands of people online claiming to be infj which had me wondering how is everyone infj if its so rare? I do believe many are mistyped and some people claim personality types for a silly anesthetic

As an intp with high fi (alot higher then fe), I describe myself in patterns and rules. Something like: if this happens, I will be like this, because..., similar things happened before and i did the same or didn't because....

Hahaha, loving this video. I've seen that!.. The staring and waiting for me to talk. I want to clip this.

I read “Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism” by Chogyam Trungpa a while ago. Great book. There was this story in it about this great guru who would on occasion beat up his servant and simply move on. I cut myself a long time on it, as it contradicts everything you would know about what a good spiritual teacher is, at least in the west. After a while it became clear to me. Last month I provoked a call center employee until he hung up on me. I was angry at his employer and he was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Was that a sensible, mature or diplomatic way of handling the situation? No, and I simply do not care. It was an enlightening experience.

True. Working on making it somewhat better.

We don't all have equal capacity or inclination to evil

Yo, so this is something completely different from this video but I thought that the video on INFJ vs ENTJ course correctors was VERY interesting, like on an extreeeeeeeme level. I know you probably don't wanna make any new videos on course correctors and stuff because the one that you did make didn't do so well compared to your other typology videos, but when I watched it, I felt like it was pure gold and, well, when I first saw the video on my recommended feed, I didn't want to click on it but that was only because I had no idea what you meant by "course correctors," and I think that's one of the reasons why it didn't do so well; other people probably felt the same way. Okay, and I think there's a personal reason why I found the video so interesting, I've already had some ideas on INFJ course correctors and was very fascinated by them, but I didn't know how to talk about them and I felt like you were reading my mind when I watched that video. Something that intruiged me was, If you search up the rank on the top 100 most influential men, the ones at the top are predominantly INFJs. And I think a lot of other people, especially INTPs (i, myself, am one btw) would probably be interested in different types and their course correctors, but wouldn't really know how to talk about them, it's like how I had unconscious ideas on discourse, but I didn't know the word so I wouldn't ever bring it up and when I watched your video on Fe and discourse, my mind was completely blown away. I really want more on course correctors and I think others too, especially your viewers in specific, might be interested. Like imagine if you made one on INTP course correctors, I'd go crazy. This is like something I've only dreamed about, and if you do make a video on them, I don't think its a good idea to use a title like "INTP Course Correctors," instead, you should probably use something like "INTPs who changed the course of history" or something along those lines. ....OKAY PLEASE MAKE MORE VIDEOS ON COURSE CORRECTORS PLS PSLDFSPDKFKFFSADF, THEY'D MEAN A LOT TO ME

Linked here are other projects and ways to support the channel. Thank you for watching. If you'd like to request a Tarot reading, please follow this link. Positive reviews are a tremendous help to me. Tarot: fiverr.com/skimmerlit/read-your-tarot-and-provide-a-written-report If you'd like to become a member, please follow this link. We offer monthly Tarot readings for our "Regular" members. Patreon: patreon.com/skimmerlit If you'd like to purchase my stories, please follow this link. Positive reviews are a tremendous help to me. Stories: www.amazon.com/s?i=digital-text&rh=p_27%3ASkimmerlit+Skimmerlit&s=relevancerank&text=Skimmerlit+Skimmerlit&ref=dp_byline_sr_ebooks_1

It’s true that INFJs don’t really know themselves. That’s because they’re often just a shell of a person, with nobody underneath their mask.

I will never get close to an infj again. I have learned my lesson

In my experience it’s a mask that stems from never believing you will ever be understood because you learned early on in childhood that the truth hurts people, you don’t like hurting others and that behavior ostracized you. For me Ti developed before Fe. And then you’re expected to accommodate for every one else’s needs and emotions. I for example spent my youth solving the conflicts/being a mediator for my family and feel like I had to parent my own parents in a way. That’s a mindset I carried in school too, where I aspired to “rescue” people who would never even lift a finger for me and unconsciously put myself in very toxic and dangerous environments. It was mentally straining too and only felt rewarding if they actually were receptive to my help but it was and is still something I struggle with because my emotions are more externally based and I truly feel like that’s an area where I excel in the most. People are fascinating, simply put. I think the combination of an agreeable personality, a suppressed individuality, disliking conflict and a calling to be helpful/useful makes that pattern hard to break. But surely something worth working on. I truly feel inspired, especially by intjs and intps because they are more interested in my thoughts and ideas and I don’t feel the need to compromise myself as much. Intjs especially have helped me tremendously in developing more assertiveness, confidence and brought stability to my life. They also force me to explore Fi in my strive for authenticity. In exchange I have helped them better understand people and hopefully made them less pessimistic about the world and human behavior. Joyce Meng has a wonderful video where she compares herself to an intj friend where she calls infjs “mendable bushes” in a way and explains why we are so fake. It really resonated with me.

I dont know how to react to this bc I am a male who is gentle by default I dont hav a dad at all--I was primarily raised by two women

Linked here are other projects and ways to support the channel. Thank you for watching. If you'd like to request a Tarot reading, please follow this link. Positive reviews are a tremendous help to me. Tarot: fiverr.com/skimmerlit/read-your-tarot-and-provide-a-written-report If you'd like to become a member, please follow this link. We offer monthly Tarot readings for our "Regular" members. Patreon: patreon.com/skimmerlit If you'd like to purchase my stories, please follow this link. Positive reviews are a tremendous help to me. Stories: www.amazon.com/s?i=digital-text&rh=p_27%3ASkimmerlit+Skimmerlit&s=relevancerank&text=Skimmerlit+Skimmerlit&ref=dp_byline_sr_ebooks_1

If INFJs were to have issues, it wouldn't be the kinds of issues you just listed.

Hahaha, i love it

What you said is true, mostly for immature INFJ. We tend to copy you, including your feelings.Imagine an INFJ like a glass marble, we feel void, becoming similar to those around us, because WE DON'T KNOW OURSELVES.If you like us, we may THINK we feel the same, and when realization hits, it makes us want to run away and disappear.We become resentful. Many of us are unstable and don't actually seek long lasting relationships(friendship included), only to help you with your problems, traumas, then disappear(causing more problems and trauma, yay!). I try to be mindful of my weaknesses, but I still catch myself morphing into someone I'm not, becoming lost and confused, then isolate to find who I am again. But once the INFJ is mature, they are ridiculously loyal, loving and caring.We want to know every little detail about your soul if we truly like you, and guide you to be your best self.

Anyone a "Satan INFJ" or a master control freak? I am capable but i 'control' it haha.

about self-knowledge: with our cognitive stack this lack of visible to outsider substance is natural. Firstly, Ni&Fe is intangible and transient not only from outside perspective, but also from inside out - it takes due experience, opportunities and necessity to properly catch, dissect and hone those processes to more deliberate work and to overall more effective system.Only existence of developed Ti (coupled with sound Se) can offer some stability and precision to that profile of character(if we don't speak about shadow functions). Secondly, ignorance of another person about me does not equate to absence of my knowledge of my identity: if person is really seeking and accepting another person, not template or parody, he will know me to the extent to which i explored myself AND agreed to spend my time and efforts on that aim(which demands special sort of people in itself). Also sometimes after all this self-reflection i feel like sharing myself is needless and only complicating: i already analyse myself(as any other person in my life) without any help and evolve, learn, deal with life on my own. My complex thoughts is heavy weight for me every day, i don't want to burden unsuspecting or unhelpful in those area people in vain. I have my own share of unpleasant and regretful behavior, but i count them necessary and unavoidable: each of them teach me something, it's highly improbable that i could find useful=specific enough advice anywhere else beside my own trial&error, bc rarity coupled with ignorance makes you on your own in this world. I repaired things where it was possible, learned my lessons and made sure to not make the same mistake twice. will be fun to listen to your opinion about self-actualized&psychopathic infjs. thanks for honest opinion.

1. we are busy af and need alot of time to work on our craft or recovering from our goals. 2. People are not responsible or lack integrity and thus hurt us inadvertently. So much of this before we get annoyed. Being around bad people triggers our vengence side and corner us to stopp low which then we hate ourselves so we rather avoid them altogether. 3. People have low standards and thus leave us for exploitation and or at a disadvantage most of the time. 4. Most people uninteresting or poor ROI. I know this sounds arrogant but instead of hanging with idiots i rather spend 4 hours learning an AI skill. We want to hagn with people and at times miss them but when we are teetering on the edge of laziness anyway, that decision is always easy to make. Stay home, save money. gain soemthing personal. 5. We can be too intense or abrasive and thus we are left walking on eggshells which we hate more than anything.

🙂 broh, have you reviewed Lorns Lure yet, it recently released, its similar to Naissance and Recompile

🙂 looks neat, thanks for explaining what the game compares too, to me it looks like a METRO game

Relatable

Sounds to me like the push and pull between a desire for comfort and desire for achievement of personal goals and values. It’s either blending in with the tapestry and holding hands with someone you disagree with on a fundamental level, for the sake of peace and human connection. Or continuing your disconnected and wretched path on earth, that is arguably worse by any measure of comfort, but a lot more satisfying in the aspect of meaning and self actualisation. Or I simply have a lot of time on my hands and projecting right now. Could be either of those.

I totally forgot that i’ve scored INFJ multiple times on myers briggs test. I say that because im a little confused, I’ve also scored ISFJ before and i’ve alwayd resonated more with that score, being the “Defender” rather than the “Advocate”, i wont pretend like im neither, i mean they share three traits, I, F and J but the S and the N for me I feel like they work together? Maybe im wrong and im just both and the different traits come out at different times which does sound more like INFJ inherently, or at least thats what my psychology teacher said. Regardless of the final result whether it had been INFJ or ISFJ I’ve always scored high on the S and N. Some outside insight would be appreciated but is not required, thank you for reading this comment if you made it!

Linked here are other projects and ways to support the channel. Thank you for watching. If you'd like to request a Tarot reading, please follow this link. Positive reviews are a tremendous help to me. Tarot: fiverr.com/skimmerlit/read-your-tarot-and-provide-a-written-report If you'd like to become a member, please follow this link. We offer monthly Tarot readings for our "Regular" members. Patreon: patreon.com/skimmerlit If you'd like to purchase my stories, please follow this link. Positive reviews are a tremendous help to me. Stories: www.amazon.com/s?i=digital-text&rh=p_27%3ASkimmerlit+Skimmerlit&s=relevancerank&text=Skimmerlit+Skimmerlit&ref=dp_byline_sr_ebooks_1

Loved the ending of this one. Couldn’t agree more. I came to this point trough other systems than mbti, but it’s nice to see that many paths lead towards the light : )

TEs mass produce. TIs reverse engineer and reinvent.

Hello, i am an estj. I wanna hear your opinions on estj. Please make a video on estj.

Whaat? People hate us? I've tested several times and keep getting INFJ but not sure what I'm doing that would cause someone this much anger. I'm really quite reserved and don't really seek many people out in the first place let alone "f someone over" 😕

Wonder if this dude has ever analyzed his own patterns and assesments of INFJs and thought, hmm "Hi, its me, I'm the problem, it's me". Cuz these stories smell like INFJs giving a kinda shitty person a chance until it was clear the dude is just a piece of shit, and definitely not going to change and peacing. Sorry you feel shitty about yourself dude, maybe per your own recommendations for people supposedly burned by one, ease up on the projections and own your bullshit.

It makes full sense to conclude those things from the outside, with the experiences you had. There is just one problem, few things you brought up just overwhelmingly do not represent what INFJ's are like. Point being, INFJ's have a ton of real issues worth discussing, it's odd that you just picked the ones that are actually not descriptive of them at all. (at least the ones I mention) -One being that they don't know them selves. By virtue of our cognitive functions we are basically pre programmed to self-analyze every reaction and dynamic that we part take in. (Similar to INTP's, just with more focus on emotional nuance) The only thing INFJ's analyze more then other peoples behavior, is our own behavior. (On general. Every type has it's dummies ofc, or ones who are not willing to be honest with them selves) -Other thing that is incoherent with INFJ behavior, is the "turning on you, being not loyal" thing. It makes me cringe just to hear such a scenario you described, due to the complete divergence from what my brain could ever decide to do. Somewhat like telling a giraffe "you are a fish and you swim often", or telling an ESTJ they are one of the softest and most sensitive types. It's just non familiar, and odd if it's meant unironically. (I can't base everything on me, but INFJ's I talk to - picked out from the sea of fake INFJ's (beta recognizes beta unmistakably), it's all the same cognitive traits that contradict your two points above I disagreed with.) Aka never did that, couldn't do that, would be physically painful to try to approach doing that, disgusted by those who even contemplate the possibility of doing that. My first obvious instinct is to question were those disloyal people actually INFJ's. The basic explanation is that they would be unhealthy, but if all of them did that.. so contradictory to what an INFJ is. (I noticed the types that actually are likely do this kind of stuff (and consistently do it), but won't pull them into this now) And don't get me wrong, again - INFJ's have a ton of issues. These just weren't it.

En tant que Infj, je n'apprécie pas tellement le conflit, mais si la personne franchit un seuil, je peux me mettre à attaquer, et je le fera d'autant plus violemment que je sais où attaquer et où la personne se sent le plus faible. Je n'aime pas ça mais je le peux le faire si il le faut et sans aucun état d'âme. Pour les Intp, c'est plus dur car ils vont se retirer ou éviter de s'exposer, mais alors je m'attaque à tout leur monde autour et aux personnes qu'elles fréquentent. Dans ces cas là il faut mieux être honnête et sincère, dire ce que l'on ressent sans arrière pensée. J'apprécie les Isfj pour cela car ils sont très honnêtes.

Hard watch, that’s why I am here.

I don’t like them. An intuitive Te blind is very frustrating. The real problem is that they shape to situations, but engage in deep thought. When they express their thoughts any form of engagement with it is taken as criticism, and the worst part is that to them all criticism is an attack and that if they are wrong, in their mind by being Te blind it’s actually because you’re a bad person not because you’re right.

I wonder what portrait you used to make those conclusions. The mbti INFJ or the socionics EII? Cause they are different. EII is INFP in mbti but INFJ in socionics and IEI is INFJ in mbti but INFP in socionics.

Indeed it's called the "creative" function. The auxiliary function in mbti is the "creative" function in socionics. That's their so called Fe. Also I disagree that Fe is an input function. Fe is an expression function. It's opposite function is the input function.

So to preface this, I have only played V20 as V5 wasn't very far in development a few years ago. Also there are huge divisions in the community on wich system is the better one. At this point I would even hypothesise that most still play V20. Getting right into the tea: Your assumptions about the community are not far off at all. Wich is indeed one of the main reasons I left. Doing vampire larp as a young, single woman is probably closest to what an actual human would feel in the presence of a vampire: like prey. Noted, that there have never been incidents that could matter in a legal way, but it was a constant effort of keeping boundaries up. The amount of people, in my former circles at least, who practiced S&M was probably at least 50%. Wich would not present itself as an immediate issue, but the game and culture enables these people to the absolut limit. In a sense the cognitive dissonance can be seen in the players themselves, as they constantly brush the line of socially permissable behaviour, without actually letting it come to it's logical conclusion. Everyone talks about sex, no one has it. About the actual authors: I always assumed that they are somehow these subversive geniuses. The playerbase seems overwhelmingly liberal or left, but also overwhelmingly white. That's a gripe I always had with the S&M community. Sexually liberated, but socially conservative. Make whatever you like out of that. Otherwise, I am happy to see you get so much out of it : )

i cant believe you still upload im so glad i was just watching one of your videos from 7 years ago and damn dude i hope your doing alright if you ever need a person to talk 2 im here

INFJs struggle to have a consistent internal concept - this is largely due to Ni causing deficits to autobiographical memory and a lack of conscious control of their mind’s eye.

Linked here are other projects and ways to support the channel. Thank you for watching. If you'd like to request a Tarot reading, please follow this link. Positive reviews are a tremendous help to me. Tarot: fiverr.com/skimmerlit/read-your-tarot-and-provide-a-written-report If you'd like to become a member, please follow this link. We offer monthly Tarot readings for our "Regular" members. Patreon: patreon.com/skimmerlit If you'd like to purchase my stories, please follow this link. Positive reviews are a tremendous help to me. Stories: www.amazon.com/s?i=digital-text&rh=p_27%3ASkimmerlit+Skimmerlit&s=relevancerank&text=Skimmerlit+Skimmerlit&ref=dp_byline_sr_ebooks_1

I’m gonna be really honest, it’s really long but i hope i can be honest and isn't that much deluded by my ego/fantasy of self *pardon english isn't my 1st language; 15:00 This one really hits hard. I'm an INFJ and this is a problem, a HUGE one. Sometimes I catch myself being "reactive" to stop any escalation of conflict, or if I have the luxury of time; I'll strategise and try to change the course of a conflict to a more productive one (I'd imagine the opposite effect could also happen). I’ve caught myself doing what your friend does too and I'm disgusted at the realisation that I've done similar things in a smaller extent. I was guilty of it though luckily i haven't been presented with a situation as bad as that and i haven't had the chance to be that low *Thank god. Thank god I learned about typology and I can now try to catch myself before being such a two faced coward. Funny, those kind of people had always been such an icks to me, had always seen those actions as cowardice and disgusting, such cowardice allows injustice and problem to arise…i used to fight bullies for my friend and those type irks me, even more ironic that i used to criticize and complain about them together with my INFJ and INTJ brother & sister, and now i realized how i can be just like that. I think the simplest analogy is like a person who complained to you because they got their order wrong out of frustrations asked you to confront the staff but then didn't expect you to get angry in a certain "way" and now the person complaining to you felt bad and saw the conflict is gonna go a certain way, and and automatically reacts by saying; "oh yeah sorry it's nothing really! It's fine he overreacts sometimes! yeah i was fine with it haha nono all good" all to avoid disruption. This can be a good thing but it for sure has manifested into nasty scenarios, I think based on my personal understanding in comes down to; A.Low self esteem, projecting their own sensitivity to others, and conflict aversion. B.That hyper awareness of how the group dynamic is and what disrupts or stabilizes them and how each person in said setting contributes to it and how it will unfold. Ni and Fe bla2 you know the stuff. C.Idealistic, for what is good and moral for example; I think it’s not okay to call people ”orange” because it’s disruptive and hurtful, and I'm frustrated and angry that a group calls others and me “orange”, how could they. They need to stop, but if you attack them with the word “orange” you are also wrong”. INFJ will dislike you for doing it even though your intention is to stop people saying “orange”. Simply; they don't stand on any side, they can switch to wherever; whoever is doing things “right” and non disruptive; like Jon snow killing daenerys in the ending of game of thrones; simply because she, at that moment, is not right and a threat for everyone. Of course it’s devastating and he probably loves her deeply, but nothing is above what's “right”. Now this is somewhat justified, what your friend did; was not. Cowardice, and sadly I can see how I could be like that had i not adopted some personal values along the way. The risk of it looms. D. The deep need to be liked and loved, thus being cowardice in making disruption. That puts the self in a bad light. Try to make an INFJ voice/confront people about a discomfort that only affects them in a group setting/to make a group of people change their ways to comfort the INFJ, no matter how reasonable it is; it is gonna be really hard. Why? To some extent they feel like their discomfort is not worthy enough to cost a disruption. But boundary is a boundary, stress is stressful so the INFJ will “leak” this stress and anger into other areas of their life/try to wiggle themself some discreet room to be able to vent, whatever that doesn't blatantly disrupt everyone. This is not sustainable at all; also its cowardice and worse the “leaks” might actually be more chaos inducing. Because of this, you'll notice they will do the “damage control” as the scenario above even to themselves! You'll hear lots of “oh no its no problem haha, i wasn't that affected by it, stupid me, i probably did that wrong that's why it happened” sometimes it is also how my monologue goes during bad days. I'd even rethink and regret reaction i often gave that is opposite of how i think/feel just to comfort people. Funny, this just happened to me the other day; my cousin promised to pick me up from school, i asked him for help cause i ran out of money, he said he’s gonna pick me up at night cause he had to manage several projects then attend an event, i was waiting for him till it was 11 PM and i tried asking him, and guess what; he forgot that he had promised to pick me up. I was angry, but I can understand that he was so busy and stressed that he got distracted and forgot, he really felt bad about it too. Despite my understanding I could have just said and expressed the minor stress and discomfort and how it affected me, and how I understood and i wasnt that angry. Now the thing is; I already knew he'd forgotten waaaaaay before I checked on him again, that is so him and he didn't mean it. Tough i suspected that it most likely to happen but i still wasn't sure if that's the case and i didnt want to disrupt his work, on top of that i really felt guilty and ashamed asking for help, (i didn't have any choice and he had helped me a lot as a student); so what i did is i lied and said “hey you don't have to pick me up, my friend asked me to go out with her so i'll be goin home on my own”. Now what I intended this text achieve is; 1. If he did forgot; he’ll be reminded that the plan existed, if that's the case; i had hoped that he doesn't have to feel that guilty and distressed about it because i was going out with my friend anyway, he doesn't have to know that him picking me up wasn't my only choice, and i didn't suffer that much waiting time, i also did not specify the time in which i had left with this “imaginary friend” of mine so if he felt really bad for it (which i'm sure he will, and he loved providing and helping people in a Te manner, and since he took pride in being a provider and a man of his promise; he'd probably felt ashamed too and i don't want that) i can just say “ah that's okay; i left with her since 7PM it’s whatever, you came and picked me up in the end anyway/insert any solution from him”. All good, no conflict; the difficult emotion can pass away. 2. If he hasn't shown up because he’s still working, I don't have to make him feel bad or make him rush and I'll wait some more just fine and I'll move to a restaurant near my university and let him pick me up there; to make it seem like I had just eaten there with my friend. ….and that my friend called the ultimate people pleasing, and these are the intricacies of interaction i paid attention to. All the time. Some useful, some completely unnecessary and stupid just like my experience above. Obviously over time this can pile up into resentment if the other person isn't as attentive/appreciative to us, which they most likely won't and they aint wrong cause they are not a damn mind reader. Ofc you hear the word “misunderstood, underappreciated, no conflict just doorslam, etc” We are not perfect angels go be human and deal with conflict in a better more functional way. Soo yeah imagine a fight over me and only for me. The stress and discomfort would be diabolical. For a cause though, that's a different story. Because it's more so about how people feel and how I think they should behave/what is right. Ironically it’s probably because they are emotionally sensitive thus wanting to reshape the world so it's more emotionally comfortable. Anyway I'm very sorry about what your friend did, I got really angry listening to it. I promised myself that i want to be a better friend/partner, i don't want to hurt the people i love in this way and i’ll try my best, it's tiring to have this paradox of wanting a deep loving connection yet being this way, I want to try to master and control my shadow. Thank you! *If you are somehow reading this, can you give me an advice/materials such as videos, books, etc to better integrate my shadow, if you would, thanks.

Damn bro. Shots fired 💀 lol