Відео

Love this! Looking so forward to studying Matthew with my church family.

Praise God for the faithful preaching of his word!

It is very easy to hear when someone does not speak with the kind of empathetic wisdom that comes from experience. This entire sermon never once addresses the difficulties of singleness, as if they don't exist. It completely glosses over the pain, the loneliness, the frustration, the fear, the lack of blessed sexuality, and the lack of family. And I am not surprised. Most people are unable to speak on what they have not experienced. So with that said, let's bring some experience to this conversation. To the extent that singleness is a gift, it is assuredly a cross-shaped gift. The truth is that unwanted, truly pro-longed singleness is a serious, painful, and exhausting trial that few, save those who live it, truly understand. In this vain, it is a common misconception, not to mention an overblown cliche, that "the free time of singleness" allows for a person to have "undivided devotion to the Lord," as if dropping kids off at school or taking walks with your spouse means you are a less devoted Christian. Well, regardless of that, I cannot think of more invasive, unending, unrelenting, and painful distractions loneliness without comfort or sexual frustration without respite. Frankly, the "distractions" of marriage pale in comparison. This misconception is born from a lack of experience seeing as it is most often asserted by those who were either married early in their lives or those who have not yet experienced the trial of truly pro-longed singleness. That being said, I would say that there is truth in the idea that singleness can and should bring a person closer to Christ, but not in the way inexperienced people think there is. The "free time of singleness" does not drive a person closer to Christ; the pain of singleness does. Years upon years without the blessing, joy, and comfort of a loving, God-ordained spouse with whom to share affection, love, trials, friendship, and sexual intimacy amounts to an afflicted existence, in all seriousness. To suggest that a person who has the blessings of marriage and family somehow has "nothing better or greater" than the person who goes to bed alone every night, devoid of the emotional affection of a loving spouse, and who must fight a seemingly endless battle for sexual purity from which there is no escape, no avenue of expression, and no satisfaction that is not sinful, is absurd. The assertion that "the grass is not greener on the other side," or that the single person "lacks nothing," or is "missing nothing," in comparison to the married person in this regard is ludicrous on its face. This assertion is often leveled at those who dare express their frustration with perpetual singleness and it essentially amounts to act of infantilization against the single person ... as if they could not possibly understand or be prepared for the challenges and trials and responsibilities and difficulties of marriage. Rest assured, anyone who has faced the trial of perpetual singleness for decades is well acquainted with pain and suffering and trials. Indeed, they are likely far more practiced in trusting God through difficulties than the likes of most 22 year-olds who have spouses just dropped in their laps with little, if any, emotional or spiritual effort. Yes, I know that Paul said it is better to be single than married to further the kingdom, but literally 99% of pastors don't take up Paul on his advice. So evidently "free time" and "undistracted devotion" is not as important to serving the kingdom as we think? Does that make any sense to anyone? Pastors, in particular, are chosen by God for a unique and central role in His church. They minister to the flock of believers and guide them in their understanding of and growing in the truth of the Word. The stronger the pastor, the stronger the church; the weaker the pastor, the weaker the church. If anyone should be wholly devoted to God's work without the "cares or burdens" of a spouse, it should be pastors, according to this thinking. But we all know that is rarely if ever the case. Why is that? No one ever tells a pastor he'd be better off single .... they only say it to older singles who are struggling with their singleness. I have even heard pastors say that young pastors should seek out a spouse so that, in having a God-blessed and God-ordained marriage within which sexual intimacy is both possible and cherished, the desires of the flesh can be properly directed. Go figure ... I once heard a pastor repeat the insultingly superficial refrain that marriage has distractions and responsibilities that single people should be thankful not to have ... and he then went on to list "doing dishes" and "taking out the trash." THOSE were his examples of how marriage is "distracting." Utter nonsense that serves to make singles feel like infants incapable of bearing the responsibilities of marriage and family while ALSO serving the Lord. Of course, it is ultimately for the Lord to determine how and in what manner our lives will serve Him and further His kingdom. So I struggle listening to people talk about how a person should be completely happy and fulfilled living a life they themselves did not choose nor would they choose. And that is perfectly understandable. I would not expect a person to gleefully desire a life without children, without a family of their own, filled with constant loneliness, constant sexual frustration, and the complete lack of intimacy and affection and support and joy that comes with a God-ordained spouse in a Christ-centered marriage. We can call a life of singleness just as important, just as meaningful, just as valuable to the kingdom, and equally under the sovereignty of the Lord. But if you call it "just as good," I will immediately suspect you do not understand. Yes, Christ is all we need. Yes, God is sovereign. Yes, God uses afflictions to teach, guide, and mature us. Recognizing these truths, however, does not alleviate the pain of prolonged, unwanted singleness, even if it does place that pain in the proper, spiritual context. Neither is it reflective of "wrong heart posture" to feel the weight and pain of such trials so long as it serves to drive us into the arms of Christ rather than away from Him. Can singleness be a "gift?" Certainly it can. It is a gift for others and for the kingdom of God with regards to whatever work the Lord would have a person do in their singleness. And certainly, we must obediently walk whatever path the Lord calls us to walk. Yet as is often the case when serving God in obedience, there is pain. Even the gracious, merciful, loving, and amazing gift of salvation came at the price of sacrifice and suffering in the form of Christ on the cross. So the "gift" of singleness can be a blessing, yes. But as the years go on, the "gift" of singleness becomes a trial and battle of an entirely different nature and intensity, rest assured. Do not mistake me. I am not questioning God. I have no doubt that God is good and sovereign and desires what is best for His children. But C.S. Lewis said it best when he wrote, "we are not necessarily doubting that God will do what is best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be." And for anyone dealing with truly prolonged, unwanted singleness/celibacy, it is like picking up a bloody cross and following Christ. But He did, after all, say that true discipleship would be like that.