I’m the artistic type, and I’ve got to work out my pain through my creativity. I’m choosing to be extremely vulnerable and am putting my heart on the line, in hopes that it helps somebody else not feel so alone. A few days ago I really wanted to give up. I was in a really dark spot. I struggled truly studying my Bible in weeks because of the anger I felt towards my situation. And then through a friend speaking life over me, and reminding me the power of sharing the vulnerabilities of my life in hopes of reaching someone, it ignited the passion in my soul to do what I’ve always felt called to do: Be a light to those in the darkness. Godly kindly redirected me and reminded me of how He wants me to serve Him through the turmoil I was facing, by loving people. I will always strive to understand someone’s pain, even if I haven’t walked it. I care deeply about others. God instilled that in me. It’s not me but Him in me. I feel that He has given me the ability to feel and hear the unspoken things, and have a deep desire to comfort those suffering. Why do I speak so openly about the struggles of my life? Because none of us are exempt from trials. And I know for a fact that there is someone out there who is too afraid to be vulnerable and who feels isolated in their suffering. This is the very reason I feel led to post vulnerable content, in hopes of reaching someone who is hurting. I don’t want anyone to have to suffer by themselves. I want to be the person who extends my hand and says “I see you, I am safe to open up to. Let me bear your burden with you. You don’t have to do it alone.”
In this video I open up about the ways that battling almost 6 years of secondary infertility has brought me closer to God. I pray it reaches whoever it was meant to.
1. The verses in the Bible that speak of women who felt shame for being barren, and pleaded with the Lord to remember them and deliver them of their infertility, came to life for me. I was able to truly put myself in the shoes of Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, Hannah, and Elizabeth, with a deeper compassion and understanding of their situation.
2. I am able to appreciate the gift of life on a deeper level, and am amazed by the miracles of the children who were born to women who were barren! To acknowledge that the wait their mothers beared, was not in vain, but designated for God’s appointed timing. Such as the birth of Issac, Jacob, Joseph, Samuel, Samson, and John the Baptist.
3. I have the ability and experience to be able to relate to women who are battling infertility, and I have a special place in my heart for them. I feel called to be a light to those in this darkness and I pray to be able to be an encouragement and support to anyone facing this hard journey.
4. I am humbled by whom God chooses life to be born through, it is truly a divine appointment. Conception is precious, sacred. No matter how a baby comes into existence, or by whom their parents are, it wasn’t by coincidence. Every life is special and worth living. #prolife
5. It is normal to have the desire for more children. We were created to procreate, it’s in our very design and nature. God told us to be fruitful and multiply. Having the desire for more children and feeling grief over not being able to, is not a bad thing! It’s okay to grieve over the number of children you wanted.
6. I know that even through the pain I feel of not being able to bear more children, I know that nothing is impossible with God. And that there is a reason behind everything He does. I find peace in knowing that if me and my husband are meant to have more children, nothing can stop God’s plans. And if we aren’t, it’s for our own protection. His ways are higher than we can comprehend, and He always has our best interest.
7. Being filled with gratitude every single day for the blessing I had of getting to be pregnant, giving birth to a healthy baby, and becoming a mother, since I know now that not everyone gets that experience.
8. Even though the majority of women consider their role as a mother their identity, the Lord has taught me that my identity alone should be in Jesus. And not as a mother or in how many children I am capable of having. Yes bearing children is a delight, reward, and absolute blessing. A miracle! Being a parent is an incredibly important role. But it is not where our identity should lie.
If you’re battling primary or secondary infertility, please now that you’re not alone. And that there is hope. You’re so loved by Jesus, and your ability to bear children does not determine your worth.
#biblicalliving #infertility #secondaryinfertility #grief #testimony #hope #faithjourney #faiththroughtrials #prolife
Music credits - Piano Classic Collectives: Mad World