My wife, Melissa, and I were excitedly expecting our baby in the fall of 2023 when we learned through a routine sonogram that our baby’s heart had not formed correctly. She was diagnosed with a congenital heart malformation called Tetralogy of Fallot. Being a cardiologist, I knew this condition was treatable with medication, minimally invasive procedures, and eventual open heart surgery. While the news was devastating, there was still hope that we would be bringing our baby home. However, further testing with a maternal fetal medicine specialist revealed our baby had other complexities in addition to her congenital heart disease. Our daughter was safe in the womb, but there was no treatment that would be able to save her life after birth.
In this moment, I was no longer a cardiovascular specialist. My wife and I were simply distraught parents whose worst nightmare was really happening to our child.
In place of compassion and support, we were given the sterile recommendation to travel to another state where we would be able to terminate the pregnancy. My wife and I sought alternative medical care at a children’s hospital where they would support us as we walked through this pregnancy. But even with this medical care available, this was a dark, isolating and lonely journey my wife and I had to walk.
It was not until we met Daniel & Kelly Crawford and Sarah Hartman on a Tuesday evening video call that we felt as though we finally connected with others who truly understood what we were going through. We were no longer alone. The understanding and empathy we received from them and other couples who mentored us and walked through this journey with us was unparalleled. More importantly, Abel Speaks provided so much more than empathy. They enabled us, in the midst of the deepest sorrow and pain we had ever experienced, to also celebrate our daughter and the blessing that she was, and still is, to us and our family.
Our daughter Eloise Joy Burow was born on December 5, 2023. We were blessed with nine magical, love-filled hours with her where she was cuddled and doted on by us and her siblings. She went home to be with Jesus that evening while being held in our arms.
Since our first video call last year, Abel Speaks has met us in the hardest moments. Messages and incredibly thoughtful keepsakes at Eloise’s milestones always remind us that our daughter is loved, cherished, celebrated and never forgotten. We attended the Abel Speaks alumni retreat in August 2024. To gather with over thirty other couples who, like us in the previous year, walked through the same loss and heartache and yet were able to celebrate our children and the hope we have through Christ was nothing short of life restoring.
One year later, we now have the privilege of being a mentor couple with Abel Speaks where we walk alongside other families traveling this same journey. It is an honor to donate our time, resources, and medical perspective to help other Abel Speaks families have joy amongst sorrow and find hope amongst suffering.
Adam & Melissa Burow