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Its that time of the year again...

this is wonderful thank you so much for posting!!!!

Oh. Not as wholesome as I thought… cool :>

Aw, just discovered this and I love the channel

This gave us all therapy at the same time. We need a third one so badly...

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I’m not a Capricorn but there are stuff I’d like to say just to get off my chest, I don’t want any sort of attention or anything, I just don’t really have a place to send these emotions. Exams are finally over, I’ve passed my matric and I’m looking for work. But the thing is I’ve been struggling for the last 3 years since igcse. Just nonstop work with maybe a month and a half or so total where I don’t need to work on something. I only get like 3 weeks off at the end of each year and normally I’m so exhausted all I can do is sleep in and play video games. But with me finally passing matric, it feels like this huge weight has been taken off of my back. I’ve had a lot of time to think, and not think the depressing and overwhelming thoughts I normally have. I mean I’ve really been able to think about things and myself. I have an incredibly short temper, I’m sure it’s related to all the stress I’ve been going through for the last 3 years, I broke my hand open by mistake when I had an episode of uncontrollable rage. That’s never happened before and it was pretty recent, but it’s true that I’ll always punch the wall with an anger that I’m not able to stop, my body moves on its own. I’m not gonna talk about all the struggles here but I want to talk about one thing since I managed to get one thing off my chest with my mother. I was diagnosed with inattentive adhd from a young age, my parents thought this wouldn’t affect my life much, but as I’ve been doing research I’ve realised a lot of problems in my life can be connected to it and were only made worse by the fact that I wasn’t able to recognise or address them. Again I don’t wanna talk about all the problems my adhd caused, I just want to talk about one thing and that’s how I view myself. I harbour an incredible amount of self hate towards myself, I’ve tried to think of anything good about myself and came up blank. A lot of this feels like it was because of social norms. In life I’ve always tried to be myself and I’ve preached to people how they shouldn’t care about what others think and they should be happy with what they are comfortable with. But I think because of me already being a complete outcast because of the problems my adhd caused which made me the “weird” kid subconsciously made me suppress parts of myself, and I think that contributes a lot to my self hate. I get angry at a lot of things and will often start arguments saying how stupid something is and use logical points even though it’s generally something that is emotionally driven. I’ve started a lot of arguments about how stupid gender and wanting to be trans is because it’s immature and you shouldn’t let your sex control you that much. But after having time to think I’ve realised that I was being childish and that it’s possible a part of me was jealous that people were able to express themselves so easily, I never had any hate towards those people, hell my uncle is trans and I love em even though I’ve barely met him, he’s my family. I realise now that a lot of this anger and trying to argue with logic was me probably trying to argue with a part of myself that I didn’t even know was there. It’s the part of myself that I wanted to suppress because I wanted to be accepted by others so I hid that part of me without even knowing it. But I thought back, my younger sister had asked once or twice if she could paint my nails. She actually painted it about two months ago or so, and I kept the paint on for so long. I thought “wow my nails look so pretty.” And now that I’m thinking about it, that’s the first compliment I had given myself in an excruciatingly long time, that’s a part of myself I was happy with, I felt no embarrassment going to class with my crimson nails that my sister so lovingly painted for me, I kept it until it started flaking off and had to use nail polish remover. And I remember feeling disappointed but I didn’t know why. The thing I got off my chest today, was I was able to talk to my mother about maybe wanting to paint my nails more frequently, I explained how it made me feel happy, I didn’t explain all this other I hate myself stuff but I did say it made me feel nice. And she told me “Well then let’s go to the shops sometime and we can pick you out some colours.” She’s always been a loving and accepting woman and I am grateful for it. My father on the other hand isn’t that simple. Don’t misunderstand, my father is a loving and caring person, he listens and helps to people around him and at his work. But at the same time he was raised as your typical man. He did manly things and has that kind of outlook. The few times I did let my sister paint my nails he laughed and thought it was silly. Obviously he had no intention to hurt me, but it did because that was a part of me that loved having my nails like that. So I haven’t told him yet and it will probably not come easy, I think I learned to argue with logic against things I didn’t understand from him. I grew my hair out up until about 6 months ago. My hair went down to my shoulder blades like a woman’s, and I liked to play with it and stuff even if it was difficult to maintain. But 6 months ago I cut it off and my hair was short again, at first I thought it didn’t bother me and I told everyone as much because it was a big choice. But overtime I came to miss it. I liked it when my mother would occasionally braid my hair. My father brought up that I probably needed to cut my hair soon since it was getting long-ish. It goes down to my neck rn. And I said I think I want to keep growing it out, he responded with a lot of reluctance and explained that I’m entering the adult world now and that I can’t do that. Its not like he can tell me not to do it, I’m basically 20 but his reluctance still hurt, and if it was only a month ago, my old me would have called me stupid for letting something like the length of my hair get to me that much. He would have explained that the length of something so stupid was childish and immature. But now that I’ve had time to think I realised how much it means to me and how much things like this can mean to others. A month before I cut my hair it was my sister birthday party. She’s always been very open about herself even though she’s only 14 years old. So the theme of her party was cross dressing, everyone had to dress up as the opposite gender. A few people were pretty uncomfortable with it while the others were doing it just because it was just kind of silly stupid fun. But one of my friends didn’t dress up at all, he was completely against it and completely stubborn and expressed it thoroughly. I remember sitting next to him thinking what a stick in the mud he is. Which he is but he’s still a good guy. But thinking back to that date, I remember looking in the mirror before going, my hair straightened out like my mothers before she plays at a show and me wearing one of her large dresses and those flop-like heels. And I remember thinking “I don’t look that bad.” And I was pretty happy at the party. We did karaoke, which I normally would have completely shunned away from, but being all dolled up made me feel quite social and I had absolutely no shame singing for the entire night until my voice went hoarse. I realise now that I’m not as cut and simple as my father. I love things like one piece, or NHRL, and action games and all thing a guy might like. But I also like cooking for my family and playing a soft solemn tune on the piano. And I realised recently that I like having my nails painted and that I’m not uncomfortable in a dress. I have a 🐓 and ⚾️⚾️, and I go by he/him. I genuinely hate putting labels on things and people, because it feels confining. I have no gender preference in terms of who I wanna end up with. But just to make it clear, I think I may be what people would generally call genderfluid. I feel comfortable doing certain feminine things and certain masculine things. But I’ve been suppressing my feminine side because I wanted to be accepted, even if it wasn’t completely as myself. I’m 190+ cm talk and have very broad shoulders so most of my life I’ve been playing into trying to be a man so that I could fit in, not that it really helped with fitting in anyway. But I think I’m going to try and start exploring the other side of myself that I’ve been hiding away. I just wanted to get this off my chest because I still haven’t told anyone about any of this other stuff. As far as my mother knows I just wanna paint my nails. But hopefully I can continue to work on myself and one day I can be myself fully and embrace it. Anyway I hope all of you who took the time to read this have a good day/night. God bless you and your loved ones.

Oh my, I just realised who you were for the first time

The heavy is dead!

No dialogue needed - still highly relateable.

I seem to recognise that…. Therapist from a different site…

The way you draw mice is oddly reminiscent of spiegelman’s “Maus”. Maybe I’m seeing things

You have such a tender and warm style of your taste. You look beautiful. You make such good drawings. I'm glad that I've seen you exist.

The coffee ... Im dying 😂

I feel strong homosexual energy from these rats

Waiting for the new tracks LIKE YOU PROMISEDDDD still addicted to this one tho :3

1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" Malachi 4:1 “For behold, the day is coming, burning like an oven, and all the proud, yes, all who do wickedly will be stubble. And the day which is coming shall burn them up.” Amen

I can't wait to see more content! Beetlerat is so talented at making animations :]

I'm so sorry but the rat therapist is so handsome and lovely, I'm getting a crush ❤❤❤🥰

Love to watch more of this

We goin to doctor zoo

damn, this one ended quick.

i mean i asume the rat pee cause where else would it go

I know what you are

This is delightful

incredible video!! subbed ❤

This animation is great, but sad honestly, as someone who has problems with how I act, it's very relatable, I'm like very angry and get angry when someone tries to help me, but at the same time just so scared of them (people in general, literally don't trust anyone) that I accept and just hope they won't hurt me so, I think I'm going crazzzyyy🥲👍

WHAT DO THE WINGDINGS SAY

man i wish my therapist was this nice. instead he steal all my money and made me wait a month and a half to give me meds

love the music!

the music being a part of the convocation and emotion is so wonderful

Can I ask I know that raticcus is your intrusive thoughts but what does that make dr.zo and are these actual thoughts/conversations youve had with an actual therapists also I saw the thanksgiving videos are they realistic for your family?

Wait so is he a horse or a rat I don’t even know anymore

The coffee never stands a chance 😔

Ratticus just loves spilling things…

Yesssssssssssssssss,doc!!!

Session 3 please 😊

i NEED this man

im a pisces. yet this applies to me

this is... really relatable.

I could of swore that I have seen this art style in *something* else before... oh well, cool to see wholesome stuff

such a beautiful piece :3 from pacing to characterisation, its all stunning. I cried

Most well done, truly so.

I wish I could help... Legally homeless myself.

How did that happen? I'm so sorry 😭

The plot thinckens! :0

This is just so lovely good job ❤

Hi! New sub! Love you! I'm grabbing some of these! K bye!!!

wonderful little thing!! y'all did great!!