Відео

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I am really glad I came upon this episode and your channel, since it's the most relatable and accurate account of narc/EI parents and how we grow up being a good kid to try and save them. This happened to me and went into overdrive after my father died. But years later, when I came to get married, there was absolutely no support for me - it was all about her and getting attention to her. My healing fantasies included being a rockstar, which I understand now James Hetfield of Metallica--the guy in the poster I was looking at--also had fantasies of being in rock posters after his Dad walked out at 13 and his mother died at 16. His healing fantasy came true but so did his alcoholism. But, at least the world got some amazing powerful music out of that tragedy and type of healing fantasy. This quote is amazing 'Being rewarded for being inauthentic feels better than being judged for being authentic.' So good!!

This kind of naive, one sided, intellectual deconstruction (of past, values and everything) is probably a first step. I wish you to get to the place, where you can appreciate and honour all the good, nurturing and positive your parents DID, too.

I started listening to your podcast today. I can't stop listening. I'm 47 now but can relate. What an amazing young woman you are.

Your voice is so peaceful. Your perspective helps me reframe my childhood experiences. Raised by 2 narc parents. I’m grateful to have moved to another continent.

Ive experienced this having my Dad was always trying to condition and brainwashing me to take into consideration what he wanted me to plan for my future. I went to college for 7 years because he told me to and it lead me to nothing but lies, poverty also owing student loans including the lack of job provision

You made me think about a lot of things. Thank you. Hopefully I can heal.

Wow congratulations that sounds so exciting!!

This is awesome!! Excited to see what you accomplish in your journey and completing the marathon!

I know all these things myself...but it's so hard to change... i sometimes feel like...the discomfort is not worth breaking the comfort and safety of these walls

Hi Casey! I found your podcast on Tik Tok and have resonated so much with it. Your calm, thoughtful, and thorough insights and demeanor are so inspiring and important. Please continue what you’re doing, you have quickly gained a loyal listener, and I will definitely be sharing it 🫶🏻

Great video!

“what’s right for me “

More people need to seeee thisssss

18:59 Not even a family member. It can be a carpenter or the maintenance people there to fix something, and I cannot just be. It pains me to say it. I realised this a couple of years ago. It’s still a hassle within me, but I’m trying not to react on it. But it sucks. It sucks so hard. It is so draining and sad,..

My parents: All _Your_ emotions are negative,..

Thank you for doing this podcast. I've been listening to different episodes for a few months now, and this has really helped me validate a lot of my experiences as what they were-traumatic. And it has made way for growth in my life. I appreciate you and I hope you get to keep making content like this 🫶

happy anniversary! well done! 👏

You're not alone! Indivduating can sometimes be painful, and we never "finish" learning who we truly are. Human beings are socialized to assume we can trust other humans because trust is a necessary component for humans (and human societies) to function and survive. Did you know that the handshake originated as a physical gesture of trust between ancient homosapiens? By way of holding out one's hands to show the other human that they held no weapons. Their open hands were symbols of surrender and pure intent.

You have a beautiful voice😊

It's so weird that people continue to want to deny my view of others as much more intentional and malicious than people claim they are. They are constantly minimizing those experiences.

You consistently articulate the experience so well, making it easier to feel less alone and less strange for having gone through it, as well as the impacts and challenges we face as a result. It's great that you have managed to have therapeutic relationships that are now helping you. You are lucky to have come so far and to have arrived at these realisations whilst your still young.

Thank you so much for talking about all of this. It’s really been helping me on my journey to heal💚

I'm so here for this podcast

Hugging from afar

You are me ❤

Gooooooseeeebuuuuumppppsss! I just ordered my book. I cannot wait to dive in. I do feel like you need to be prepared to open up and heal from such a difficult trauma. I’ve noticed that over the years that sometimes our bodies just aren’t ready to handle it. But today, I am ready to live my second life. 🙌🏼 love it!

Thank you so much for this

This book is a must read for pretty much everyone who has trauma!

Nice talk! I resonated alot with what you said

yep thats why i tell them nothing

Yep you can't take attention away from them "narcissistic parent"

OMG YES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yep

OMG yes

100% yep your not alone

i dont do that. but my narcissistic parent would be very paranoid about his phone if somone would be listening on them. if your narcissistic parent did that as well that's where you learn from

yea i did that as well "people pleaser" i have stop doing it now if anyone need help on this don't be afraid to ask

I just want to say I’m thankful for this channel. Also that you to have the courage to talk about the uncomfortable situations that happened to you back then. I relate so much to these stories and I don’t feel so alone with growing up in a household that had these situations. It’s been a difficult road trying to unlearn the habits that used to keep me safe. Knowing there are others out there growing and healing brings me a sense of hope in my journey.

I hv this problem. I can see groups forming and I'm friendly with everyone. I dont belong to a group but agreeble to all. Like there is no self

Gaslighting is the worst. Often worse I think than the thing that it arose from. Making you Doubt Yourself, _besides_ being treated badly - that Second guessing, on top of the hurt - hurts deeply.

26:07 I’ve evolved from the resentment to absolute grief. Not because of what they had that I didn’t. But what they won’t understand because I did… to them, our parents are not as bad as they were to me. To them, I seem a bit dramatic for the way I go no contact… I feel so alone

Nice one. Great delivery

This is amazing! Thank you 🙏🏼

65 years old and subscribed

I am so glad this video reached me. At the time I'm writing this, it is one day old and has 21 views. This video is going to reach its intended demographic and it is going to blow up. So many of us suffer well into adulthood with wounds from our childhood unable to heal due to not being able to ever find "our people" Those of you who see your life playing out in your head as she speaks understand me. I relate to so many of the things you mentioned. I also had a very hard time being alone. The way I grew up was not conducive to me developing my individuality or independence. Due to my particular set of circumstances I wasn't properly socialized and I did not grow up with healthy friendships. I quite literally had to block someone from my childhood yesterday. She treated me poorly when we were in high school. She went no contact with me out of the blue with 2 months left of our senior year. We wound up going to the same college and she reached out, we reconnected, and once the year was over she ceased contact with me again, to just pop back up like nothing ever happened. While we were teens and young adults there was never a particular event which I could point to and deduce why she stopped talking to me. When we were speaking again I never asked why she stopped responding to my messages or deleted me from her instagram. Probably because I was unconsciously happy we were "friends" again and didn't want to spoil things. I could go on and talk about how my own experience of being raised my an emotionally immature parent has gaslit me beyond reasonable excuse and it probably will - in my journal. I'll leave these thoughts here for now and hope this video finds those of you who can relate and we all trauma dump in the comments of this video and idk maybe form a little community of our own.

the part where you said "it was more important that you failed/passed a test than what kind of person you are," really helped me put into words my own experience. thank you for making this video.

Thank you. We are kindred spirits.

You understand exactly how I feel

It's also a setup for failure. Narcissistic parents can't allow their children to fail and not become independent adults. So they create these situations that are a bit too difficult for them so they fail, give up, and become insecure. It also means they can feel superior to them, which they need to feel every day just to make it through the day. I compare a narcissistic parent to the way a wild animal is concerned about its own daily survival. They are incomplete people where empathy and selflessness were never built. But since we as a society don't talk about it, it sets up children for a lifetime of doubt and suffering. Did you check out Dr. Ramani's videos?