WriteBetterTogether
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PERFECTIONISM: Why It Blocks You and How To Address It (A Rebroadcast of Our LIVE January Webinar)
EPISODE 46) In this fresh edit rebroadcast of our January LIVE webinar, we discuss why people seek perfection, the impact of striving to attain the unattainable, and some strategies to make your creative life easier. We are joined on-screen by writer David Corbly with contributions from author Betsey Kulakowski and writer Emily Tucker via chat. Bob and Liz both pop in to type, "Hello." :)
WRITE YOUR OWN CALL TO ACTION
Oops, we forgot to do the CALL TO ACTION! So, let’s turn the lack of lemons into lemonade!
Write Your Own Call To Action and then submit it here by replying under this video.
Write whatever you want, base it on something we talked about in this episode. Keep it to around 100 words. We’ll read them on the show if we have time. Have fun.
OUR HOSTS AND DAVID GET OUT OF THEIR BUBBLE
Emily has a virtual game night. Because community.
Jon Meyers eavesdrops on an unhoused gentleman and witnesses a fantastic positive mindset.
David Corbly speaks at a wonderful writing retreat in Branson, Missouri for the Ozark Writer’s League.
YOU RESPOND
Liisa Walimaa says thanks.
BIG IDEA: Perfectionism - Why It Blocks You and How To Address It
WHY MIGHT YOU BE A PERFECTIONIST?
1. Perfectionists often label themselves as perfectionist
2. Perfectionists can have a fear of failure - and then excuse it as their motivator
3. Perfectionists have a need for control
THREE TYPES OF PERFECTIONISM
1. Self-oriented perfectionism
2. Other-oriented perfectionism
3. Socially-prescribed perfectionism
JON MEYERS’S TECHNIQUES THAT MAY HELP (via citations below)
Underlying Principles:
i. Don’t Let Perfect Be The Enemy of Good
ii. Focus On The Donut, Not The Hole -David Lynch
1. Timeslot Your Writing, Just as You Timeslot Your Household Chores
2. Deadlines Are Great Motivators
3. Only Do Things You Are Good At
EMILY’S TECHNIQUES THAT MAY HELP
(via caps.umich.edu/content/coping-perfectionism )
Underlying Principles:
i. Athletics v. Writing - Look at the early stages of either as training.
ii. Figure Out Why -- Healthy v. Unhealthy Goal Setting
1. Do Things That Are Realistic
2. Do Things You Enjoy
3. SMART Goal Setting
Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Realistic
Timely
Jon Meyers prefers the term objectives over goals, because (as we discuss on the podcast routinely), keeping a “journey before destination” mindset is very valuable.
#HEYEVERYONE (Hey what happened to #HeyJonMeyers?)
Emily remembers to teach all of us about functional forgetting.
www.nature.com/articles/nrn218
WEEK FOUR OF WHY IS THIS BABY CRYING?
Jon Meyers teaches Emily yet another reason her child might be crying. Actually the intention is to increase awareness of reasons other children have cried so that Emily can avoid these situations once her child is born.
THE FINAL ACT: BUILD THE PERFECT STORY
Everyone present contributes pieces to an outlandish story involving…
Well, you’ll have to see for yourself.
#writingpodcast #writerscommunity #writinginspiration #writingadvice #perfectionism
#mentalhealth #community #amwriting
*******************
STUDIES & ARTICLES CITED
Three types of perfectionism article - www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/perfectionism
Tips for overcoming perfectionism article - caps.umich.edu/content/coping-perfectionism
Mental health and perfectionism - www.apa.org/monitor/nov03/manyfaces
Also…
Frost, P. L. (1990). Perfectionists label themselves: Perfectionism, self-esteem, and self-criticism. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 9(3), 324-346. doi.org/10.1521/jscp.1990.9.3.324
Hewitt, P. L., & Flett, G. L. (1990). Perfectionism and the construction of the self. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 9(3), 347-362. doi.org/10.1521/jscp.1990.9.3.347
Shafron, D., & Mansell, W. (2001). Fear of failure and its relationship with perfectionism. Behavioral and Cognitive Psychotherapy, 29(3), 273-286. doi.org/10.1017/S1352465801003016
LINKS
BETSEY KULAKOWSKI’S BOOKS amzn.to/4jDT7BD
BETSEY KULAKOWSKI’S WEBSITE www.authorbetseykulakowski.com/
OUR LINKS
AFFILIATE LINKS:
Enjoy Greg Pembroke’s Reasons My Kid Is Crying by purchasing it here:
amzn.to/3WGmYzB
Order our book here:
Emily Brooks and Jon Meyers, WRITE ANYWAY: ⁠amzn.to/4erbV3G⁠
⁠Order Gourmet Desserts shipped straight to your door from Drip Confections... dripconfections.com?sca_ref=6525184.0Dv4JzbUdyW7aj.
Our Bookshop…
bookshop.org/shop/write-better-together
Our Patreon…
www.patreon.com/WriteBetterTogether
CONNECT WITH US:
WriteBetterTogether⁠⁠
writebettertogethernow⁠⁠
www.X.com/WriteBetterTgtr⁠
CONNECT WITH EMILY BROOKS:
www.emilybrookswriter.com⁠⁠
EmilyBrooksWriter⁠
EmilyBrooksAuthor⁠
CONNECT WITH JON MEYERS: ⁠
www.jonmeyersscripts.com⁠⁠
You can contact David Corbly at OpenDoorCreations.com for all your website creation and/or website upgrading needs.
Переглядів: 18

Відео

PERFECTIONISM: Why It Blocks You and How To Address It (A Rebroadcast of Our LIVE January Webinar)
Переглядів 32 години тому
EPISODE 46) In this fresh edit rebroadcast of our January LIVE webinar, we discuss why people seek perfection, the impact of striving to attain the unattainable, and some strategies to make your creative life easier. We are joined on-screen by writer David Corbly with contributions from author Betsey Kulakowski and writer Emily Tucker via chat.
Writing Memoir from Your Healing with Lyneta Smith
Переглядів 2914 годин тому
We talked with author Lyneta Smith about the process of writing about the past from a place of healing. How do you care for your own emotions and the emotions of your reader? Read full show notes at writebettertogether.com/podcast
Writing Memoir from Your Healing with Lyneta Smith
Переглядів 2819 годин тому
Writing Memoir from Your Healing with Lyneta Smith
Making the Mentor/Mentee Dynamic Work with Stephanie L Jones and Sarah Vessely
Переглядів 4114 днів тому
Making the Mentor/Mentee Dynamic Work with Stephanie L Jones and Sarah Vessely
Making the Mentor/Mentee Dynamic Work with Stephanie L. Jones and Sarah Vessely
Переглядів 314 днів тому
Making the Mentor/Mentee Dynamic Work with Stephanie L. Jones and Sarah Vessely
Remembering David Lynch...
Переглядів 17914 днів тому
Remembering David Lynch...
Finding What Works For You: Jon Meyers's Writing Process
Переглядів 5021 день тому
Finding What Works For You: Jon Meyers's Writing Process
Finding What Works For You: Jon Meyers's Writing Process
Переглядів 2321 день тому
Finding What Works For You: Jon Meyers's Writing Process
STORY: What Is It? Can We Do Better? (A Rebroadcast of our November Webinar w/New Content Added)
Переглядів 4828 днів тому
STORY: What Is It? Can We Do Better? (A Rebroadcast of our November Webinar w/New Content Added)
STORY: What Is It? And How Do We Tell Them Better? (A Rebroadcast of our November Webinar with Ne...
Переглядів 828 днів тому
STORY: What Is It? And How Do We Tell Them Better? (A Rebroadcast of our November Webinar with Ne...
COMING SOON -- FREE LIVE WEBINAR! PREVENTING PERFECTIONISM ................ STOP WAITING
Переглядів 2928 днів тому
COMING SOON FREE LIVE WEBINAR! PREVENTING PERFECTIONISM ................ STOP WAITING
NYE Episode: Gratitude and Reflection (All New Content)
Переглядів 16Місяць тому
NYE Episode: Gratitude and Reflection (All New Content)
NYE Episode: Gratitude and Reflection (All New Content)
Переглядів 38Місяць тому
NYE Episode: Gratitude and Reflection (All New Content)
Mental Health Tips for the Holidays and Being a Christian in Hollywood with Judy Go Wong
Переглядів 41Місяць тому
Mental Health Tips for the Holidays and Being a Christian in Hollywood with Judy Go Wong
Audio only - Christmas special with Judy Go Wong
Переглядів 6Місяць тому
Audio only - Christmas special with Judy Go Wong
How Your Culture Impacts Your Creativity (with Vietnamese Writer/Producer Mai Luu Ly)
Переглядів 119Місяць тому
How Your Culture Impacts Your Creativity (with Vietnamese Writer/Producer Mai Luu Ly)
How Your Culture Impacts Your Creativity (with Vietnamese Writer/Producer Mai Luu Ly)
Переглядів 9Місяць тому
How Your Culture Impacts Your Creativity (with Vietnamese Writer/Producer Mai Luu Ly)
Finding What Works For You: Emily's Writing Process
Переглядів 32Місяць тому
Finding What Works For You: Emily's Writing Process
Finding What Works For You: Emily's Writing Process
Переглядів 38Місяць тому
Finding What Works For You: Emily's Writing Process
Judy Go Wong joins us for a very special Christmas Eve episode...
Переглядів 36Місяць тому
Judy Go Wong joins us for a very special Christmas Eve episode...
Cultivate Your Community (Online and In-Person) with Author Sandra Tayler
Переглядів 532 місяці тому
Cultivate Your Community (Online and In-Person) with Author Sandra Tayler
Cultivate Your Community (Online and In-Person) with Author Sandra Tayler
Переглядів 92 місяці тому
Cultivate Your Community (Online and In-Person) with Author Sandra Tayler
Finding Inspiration Outside of Your Bubble: Writer Fest 2024 (Afterthoughts #7)
Переглядів 82 місяці тому
Finding Inspiration Outside of Your Bubble: Writer Fest 2024 (Afterthoughts #7)
Finding Inspiration Outside of Your Bubble: Writer Fest 2024 (Afterthoughts #7)
Переглядів 432 місяці тому
Finding Inspiration Outside of Your Bubble: Writer Fest 2024 (Afterthoughts #7)
Research and a Unique Drafting Strategy with Dr. Matthew Huddleston
Переглядів 662 місяці тому
Research and a Unique Drafting Strategy with Dr. Matthew Huddleston
Research and a Unique Drafting Strategy with Dr. Matthew Huddleston
Переглядів 62 місяці тому
Research and a Unique Drafting Strategy with Dr. Matthew Huddleston
What to Do with Your Finished Screenplay with Bob Sáenz
Переглядів 1142 місяці тому
What to Do with Your Finished Screenplay with Bob Sáenz
What to Do with Your Finished Screenplay with Bob Sáenz
Переглядів 172 місяці тому
What to Do with Your Finished Screenplay with Bob Sáenz
Keeping it Positive with Austin Francis
Переглядів 172 місяці тому
Keeping it Positive with Austin Francis

КОМЕНТАРІ

  • @JamieEvansBooks
    @JamieEvansBooks 14 днів тому

    Because of David Lynch I wrote my first novel. Now I am on my third... Every time I sit down to write I think of 'What would David do here to make it different/unique.' He is my favorite director..... and my favorite artist. He will be missed.

  • @MrMarsFargo
    @MrMarsFargo 18 днів тому

    Sometimes when I write, I’ll rip out a CHUNK OF RECENT pages (destroy) where the story maybe went down wrong turn/went in a certain direction too early, because I can sense (feel) the story isn’t going down the path it’s supposed to because of that wrong turn. Also, knowing Lynch, he sometimes likes to do things like put literal burn or scorch marks in some of paintings… so he maybe meant LITERALLY destroying part of the canvas in this case 😂

    • @WriteBetterTogether
      @WriteBetterTogether 13 днів тому

      Valid points. You're right, those could be real possibilities.

  • @gr8stginge185
    @gr8stginge185 19 днів тому

    The hole in the doughnut will never be filled

  • @Amadea27
    @Amadea27 22 дні тому

    Wow I can't believe I'm the very first to listen to this video. Thank you for all the helpful tips

  • @Drumlegends
    @Drumlegends Місяць тому

    Great Interview! She seems to be a profound expert in her field!

  • @Aggressiphyst
    @Aggressiphyst Місяць тому

    She looks like she could be the older sister to Millie Bobby Brown, and he looks like he could be the younger brother to JK Simmons.

  • @Alec_Collins78
    @Alec_Collins78 2 місяці тому

    They didn't mean monkey as in ryhming slang?

    • @WriteBetterTogether
      @WriteBetterTogether 2 місяці тому

      Haha I (Emily) have never heard of that! But maybe? He seemed like he really wanted a monkey as a pet 😂

    • @Alec_Collins78
      @Alec_Collins78 2 місяці тому

      @WriteBetterTogether It's unlikely I'm right but now it seems even less likely. A monkey in cockney rhyming slang is £500. Don't ask me why.

  • @martharogus
    @martharogus 3 місяці тому

    I ❤❤❤this and both of you! At 3:51 I began to emerge from my "bubble." This will surely inspire me to stay focused on the job at hand, which is painting a room in my house because I don't want paint on my keyboard. Truly grateful I found you, or you found me... I will write in a couple hours when the painting is complete today.

  • @davidcorbly
    @davidcorbly 3 місяці тому

    Awww, little Winny is so cute! Thanks for the shoutout! ♥

  • @TheLundraAlliance
    @TheLundraAlliance 3 місяці тому

    Wow this was amazing. I relate to Lucy and some of the mental health things. This was really insightful. That's a good final exercise too. What's the worst that can happen? Lol @ end. 😂

  • @Jamie_E_Pritchard
    @Jamie_E_Pritchard 3 місяці тому

    Any chance you could take over as showrunner asap? That sounds like a great story.

  • @Alec_Collins78
    @Alec_Collins78 4 місяці тому

    Ouch. Trying to write lyrics at the moment...I guess some would deal really well with being told they're work isn't up to it... I'd like to be told how to right it in such a way that it's still me.

  • @jonm.3133
    @jonm.3133 4 місяці тому

    I love this advice!

  • @Alec_Collins78
    @Alec_Collins78 4 місяці тому

    Thanks.

  • @lizzy4789
    @lizzy4789 4 місяці тому

    ly emily

  • @Alec_Collins78
    @Alec_Collins78 4 місяці тому

    Are the two latest episodes of the same duration identical but one's just the audio?

    • @WriteBetterTogether
      @WriteBetterTogether 4 місяці тому

      @@Alec_Collins78 Yes! The audio one is the UA-cam “podcast” version. We aren’t sure how to keep those separated to avoid confusion, so thanks for asking!

    • @Alec_Collins78
      @Alec_Collins78 4 місяці тому

      @@WriteBetterTogether I like to ask the stupid questions so nobody else has to.

    • @Alec_Collins78
      @Alec_Collins78 4 місяці тому

      I wonder if the audio only one is necessary on UA-cam because you could just play the video and not watch it.​@@WriteBetterTogether

    • @jonm.3133
      @jonm.3133 4 місяці тому

      @@Alec_Collins78 Actually, that's exactly how I listen to things I don't watch -- so you have a great point. However, there is a growing segment of podcast listeners who use UA-cam as their sole delivery platform for all podcasts. In fact, UA-cam is currently now the #1 "gateway" to new podcast listeners. Believe it or not, there are still millions of people who have never listened to a single podcast. New adopters are just now finding them via UA-cam -- and many never venture outside of the UA-cam ecosphere.

  • @Alec_Collins78
    @Alec_Collins78 4 місяці тому

    How do you spell praederichio? I know Google disagrees with that spelling.

  • @Nostalgicgirl
    @Nostalgicgirl 6 місяців тому

    Thank you. :)

  • @WriteBetterTogether
    @WriteBetterTogether 6 місяців тому

    If you're struggling with life, PLEASE watch this episode.

  • @jonm.3133
    @jonm.3133 6 місяців тому

    YOU!!! You, you, you!!!

  • @jonm.3133
    @jonm.3133 6 місяців тому

    So many guests!

  • @ThomasMaldonadoJr
    @ThomasMaldonadoJr 6 місяців тому

    I appreciate touching on conflict in this episode. A breath of fresh air topic that is a must need in CW circles. I teach creative nonfiction literacy narratives to both NE speakers and multilingual learners, which requires an element or more of conflict in their narratives. Many struggle with this, so during workshop I have their peers highlight (literally with a marker) the sentences or paragraphs where conflict is identifiable. If nothing is highlighted, they can see where they may need to add it. When we can identify conflict in the narrative, we use those passages of writing to show the others who are missing it what conflict looks like. It's definitely a skill building process that needs metacognitive workshopping as well as mimesis. Great video! 🙂

    • @WriteBetterTogether
      @WriteBetterTogether 6 місяців тому

      I (Emily) love the idea of marking passages that have conflict! I think we often identify where things are missing more than we do things that are there, but letting students know what's going well is a great way to teach those techniques.

  • @jonm.3133
    @jonm.3133 7 місяців тому

    I love how this video looks at a seemingly everyday writing topic from a couple different angles. There's something for everybody here.

  • @jonm.3133
    @jonm.3133 7 місяців тому

    Uncouth scoundrels!

  • @annaboring3626
    @annaboring3626 7 місяців тому

    Walks/Runs are often where I do my best problem solving!

  • @jonm.3133
    @jonm.3133 7 місяців тому

    I just watched six minutes of Emily staring at Jon Meyers's chair! This is the best show on the internet

  • @jonm.3133
    @jonm.3133 7 місяців тому

    When you are being swallowed by quicksand like it appears in this video that Jon Meyers is... Write Anyway.

  • @jonm.3133
    @jonm.3133 7 місяців тому

    Jon Meyers spelled "classist" wrong. Oops.

  • @DallenMalna
    @DallenMalna 7 місяців тому

    "I don't think I'll have a tombstone... That's not in my plans." I know what you mean but this line radiates such machiavalian menace it's palpable all the same.

    • @WriteBetterTogether
      @WriteBetterTogether 7 місяців тому

      So much weightiness attributed to just a dozen words! Nice!

    • @WriteBetterTogether
      @WriteBetterTogether 7 місяців тому

      Hahaha I hadn't realized how ominous that sounded! (-Emily)

  • @DallenMalna
    @DallenMalna 7 місяців тому

    "You never want to ring the same bell twice" is a really useful and catchy bit of advice. I really appreciate that.

    • @WriteBetterTogether
      @WriteBetterTogether 7 місяців тому

      Thanks for the feedback and thanks for all the comments. Keep them coming! You can report back to our CALL TO ACTIONS down here too.

    • @DallenMalna
      @DallenMalna 7 місяців тому

      @@WriteBetterTogether oh really?? Sweet I will do that wherr applicable!

  • @DallenMalna
    @DallenMalna 7 місяців тому

    I know they take the patients outside but i am now imsgining minitaure horses wandering the halls of a nursing home XD

    • @WriteBetterTogether
      @WriteBetterTogether 7 місяців тому

      Nope, your first impression was correct! They take the horses into the lobby!

  • @DallenMalna
    @DallenMalna 7 місяців тому

    Jon definitely strikes me as someone without much anxiety or inhibition XD

  • @DallenMalna
    @DallenMalna 7 місяців тому

    Honesty im really impressed at your fortitude to go networking. It seems like all the worst parts of dating mixed with the worst parts of job hunting to me. Your ability to do that despite how demoralizing it seems is impressive!

    • @WriteBetterTogether
      @WriteBetterTogether 7 місяців тому

      I (Emily) think it helps to take the pressure off by just thinking about it as making new friends. Not everyone has to be a potential business partner.

  • @DallenMalna
    @DallenMalna 8 місяців тому

    "The forest is anywhere you are" is hilarious and amazing

  • @DallenMalna
    @DallenMalna 8 місяців тому

    Hopefully multiple comments help engagement!

  • @DallenMalna
    @DallenMalna 8 місяців тому

    40:20 So at this point what I understand Jon to be saying is art is when the creator declares it is art at its conception. But earlier it was stated a thing could be made as a "craft or product" and later "become art" how does this happen? When the creator changes his or her mind later?

  • @DallenMalna
    @DallenMalna 8 місяців тому

    30:00 Is art in this sense now a signification of quality rather than intent?

  • @DallenMalna
    @DallenMalna 8 місяців тому

    29:00 So the current definition of art is "to be admired but not otherwise functional?" At least to be intended that way at the point of creation?

  • @DallenMalna
    @DallenMalna 8 місяців тому

    24:09 Commenting as I go so this may get addressed later. Why does a work of art have to "not be for anyone else" at the time of its creation? I've written things for my wife or for a friend I consider art. I've only ever written one work that was "just for me" and I don't consider it less art than the things I made for an audience.

    • @WriteBetterTogether
      @WriteBetterTogether 7 місяців тому

      Thanks for all of the insightful questions! Perhaps this warrants an afterthought!

  • @jonm.3133
    @jonm.3133 8 місяців тому

    Whoever that is forgot to say "Pick A Number" after he said "Swirl The Numbers." #ImpressionFail

  • @WriteBetterTogether
    @WriteBetterTogether 8 місяців тому

    #FunFact On December 16, 2022, the last time the real David Lynch did TODAY'S NUMBER IS... The number on that day was ............................... 1. Whaaaaaaaaat?

  • @Skaiform
    @Skaiform 8 місяців тому

    Worst band name of all time

  • @marceewardell6609
    @marceewardell6609 8 місяців тому

    So excited for this episode with one of my favorite poets!

    • @WriteBetterTogether
      @WriteBetterTogether 8 місяців тому

      The big question is... were you mentioned in this episode? You'll have to tune in to find out! :)

  • @RossAllaire-wx4og
    @RossAllaire-wx4og 8 місяців тому

    Cool!

  • @jonm.3133
    @jonm.3133 8 місяців тому

    13:09 The proper quote is "DEATH is a cruel mistress."

  • @yamvae
    @yamvae 8 місяців тому

    Oh, I have a fantastic story for my villain origin story!!!

  • @sharonwhisnand
    @sharonwhisnand 9 місяців тому

    Yes. Grimm’s Brothers wrote Cinderella

  • @ramfive2606
    @ramfive2606 9 місяців тому

    This is such solid advice, thank you!

    • @WriteBetterTogether
      @WriteBetterTogether 9 місяців тому

      Thanks @ramfive2606. Stick around, there's plenty more where this came from! :) You can get involved with our community at facebook.com/writebettertogethernow

  • @jonm.3133
    @jonm.3133 9 місяців тому

    What an incredible Incredibles reference!

  • @Nostalgicgirl
    @Nostalgicgirl 9 місяців тому

    Angles, lights, glasses, lol. It took me a moment to recognize you.