Tom Lee - Living with Cancer
Tom Lee - Living with Cancer
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I discovered that a Chemo suite can be the happiest place in the world
By coincidence, my son Eric and I met a wonderful lady Jean during the 11th cycle of my second chemotherapy treatment. She is facing late stage ovarian cancer. I had been told that it was her birthday but I never expected a full-on party to erupt courtesy of Jean's friend Lynne. This video is a little snippet of the session and as short as it is, I think it's one of the most meaningful for me.
We really didn't get around to comparing medical notes but something told me that she was facing significant uncertainty as I am. And as much as I like to think that I have my act together, I was moved to meet a traveller of such strength and dignity as Jean. And this video is a reflection of my encounter and perhaps Jean and Lynne might see this as a small birthday gift.
Happily, this is my shortest video in my primary Living with Cancer series but I also believe it says it all ... yet it only traverses two bits of singing. Later that afternoon, our conversation led us to some chit chat on our respective experiences in music and for me my brief stint in a very respectable high school choir so many decades ago. And eventually this all lead to actually fulsome treatment of songs that we all cherished. This included Edelweiss and Do Re Mi from the Sound of Music and a beautiful French song called Le Temps de Vivre by Georges Moustakis. This last song was my choir's signature song and by yet another happy surprise, very familiar to Lynne.
Unfortunately Sharon could not make it today and Maddie had to leave for an appointment shortly following the birthday singing. it would have been more complete if we had been together but perhaps the quartet that eventually remained was the right number to allow the moments to truly sparkle. Besides if we were any louder we could have been cited with a public disturbance!
Other minor miracles included all of the patients near by greeting us with approving grins and two of those in the audience was an elder and a second gentleman from the Old Order Mennonite community in our region (Anabaptist Christians like the Amish) who also offered us approving neighbourly smile but these two themselves spoke in the Waterloo variant of an ancient language called Pennsylvania Dutch -- a direct linguistic descendant of the German spoken by their ancestors hundreds of years ago. Only in Waterloo Region, Ontario (and maybe in Lancaster County Pennsylvania) could one experience time travel while undergoing chemo.
And another elder patient was being treated in a private room but remained our most ardent fan and eventually she came out of the room to express her happiness from the afternoon. She too was clearly in an advanced state of treatment and disease progression but she found the motivation to join the party.
The final minor miracle of the day, I thought, was my voice. For the past months my voice and lungs had been ravaged my the chemo meds and surgeries and any thought of singing with others present was unthinkable. But I hope you can hear my own voice, a hint of actual singing. I was amazed that some parts of my singing capacity returned. Pitch, diaphragm control, and even vibrato was kind of there.
Musician son Eric posited that when all constraints are removed from a person's life, our physiology may be able to relax and get on with what is was always designed to do. Hmm ... having wise children is yet another miracle indeed. Having said all this, I think I still owe an apology for hogging the mic and having my recovering voice dominate the sublime singing abilities of my quartet mates. Unfortunately the vid was taken with my phone and my voice was only a few inches from the mic.
As much as this was supposed to be a gift for Jean, I really believed that it was just as much of a gift for me. Jean's treatment goes for 6 brutal hours compared to my 3 hours. When it was time to leave I gave her a big hug filled with gratitude and Eric helped me settle and wipe my tears.
I had planned for a very different sixth video for this particular series but this one just popped up from the events of the day. But it seemed ideal for my year-end reflection. And with that I want to wish all my fellow travellers and family and friends who often hurt even more than we do, my best wishes for the new year. I promise to be good! Be well.
Tom.
Переглядів: 214

Відео

Keeping busy during on-going chemotherapy and metastatic cancer
Переглядів 267Місяць тому
Ironically time is a cancer patient's best friend and our worst foe. We desperately want more of it but day to day, we struggle to fill the time in a way that does not focus on our illness and the heavy burden of treatment. This video shows how a particularly busy few weeks played out for me. I am finding my new existence as an "art student" to be so empowering and filled with little side activ...
Flashback! AC/DC Japan Tour 2010 - Saitama Super Arena, Tokyo March 14, 2010
Переглядів 1082 місяці тому
In 2010 my family travelled to Japan for the first time. One highlight was the AC/DC concert near Tokyo. But this was no ordinary concert experience. Our good friend Grant (Canadian) works in the logistics of shipping and receiving major shows and events into Japan. He gave us the gift of a lifetime by arranging VIP passes to the show. This included killer seats and backstage passes that allowe...
The power of art to move life a day at a time
Переглядів 3152 місяці тому
With the possibility of either bad news or not great but manageable news looming in the next few weeks, I share my recent experiences and discoveries in learning the techniques and joys of drawing with dry pastels. I have near zero art experience but something in the imagining and creation of visual art pieces has helped me tremendously to get to the end of every day with some sense of contentm...
Oktoberfest parade 2024 - Ktichener-Waterloo
Переглядів 6452 місяці тому
Canadian Thanksgiving weekend means the annual Oktoberfest parade in our town of Kitchener-Waterloo. This year was great because it's the first time for us from our new apartment which is actually on the parade route. This is a quick video summary of our fun morning at the parade. Happy Thanksgiving all.
Finding Strength and Hope living with stage 4 cancer - Single take, minimal edits
Переглядів 4033 місяці тому
Strength and Hope are two words that constantly surround a cancer patient. But typically these words are directed at patients with the intent of helping them build their inner strength and maintain hope for the future. A couple of recent events got me thinking about these words and how nuanced and rich the words actually are. This video is really about how I have wrestled with keeping composure...
How does cancer change the nature of a person?
Переглядів 5664 місяці тому
I am finishing my first cycle of my next chemotherapy treatment. As my illness has already metastasized, the goal of the treatment is now to simply extend my life as long as it can. This is a brutal reality that too many people still deal with even in this era of advanced medical research and public support. But this first cycle has turned out to be gentler than it often is and my body has resp...
Tom Lee UW Sustainability Economics July 2023
Переглядів 674 місяці тому
This is the recording of the session on economics and sustainability in engineering initiatives at the first Sustainability Fellowship workshop hosted by the University of Waterloo in July 2023. Nine students representing four countries engaged to explore sustainable approaches to complex societal challenges. This session focused on financial aspects of sustainability. Dr. Tom Lee of McMaster U...
Mini lecture on effective communication
Переглядів 324 місяці тому
As part of a workshop I was challenged to create a 10 minute mini lecture on a non-conventional topic. I chose to do one of effective presentations for professionals. This vid covers a very specific and easy way to add punch and impact to any presentation or formal communication.
Modern Engineering Ethics Video
Переглядів 1604 місяці тому
I was part of a teaching team for a new engineering course that blended technical with other important factors like societal, environmental, and financial. One small part of the course was on ethics as part of a comprehensive engineering project. This mini video was created as a supplement to the lecture portion.
My third cancer encounter ... where to now?
Переглядів 6225 місяців тому
It has returned ... faster than I ever expected. Following a series of surgeries and chemotherapy, I was hopeful that I would enjoy an extended period of health but in the end, the probabilities did not cooperation. On July 19, 2024 I received the message that my cancer had quickly returned and moreover, it spread throughout my lungs, into my lymph nodes, and even back into my colon. This is a ...
Back to normal ... enjoying my post-surgery calm ... for now ...
Переглядів 1546 місяців тому
It's been a few months since my second lung surgery and the healing has gone well. This past weekend, I was able to just waltz into the woods with a chainsaw and harvest some badly needed firewood. It may seem like a non-event but it was a major milestone for me. Last week, I had my first post surgery follow up CT scan. Because my cancer had metastasized, it has been deemed incurable but with d...
Letting the forest help me heal from stage 4 metastatic cancer
Переглядів 1627 місяців тому
It has been six weeks since I had my second lung surgery to deal with the spread of my colon cancer into my lungs. Although healing progresses well, it still remains a challenge to remain motivated and optimistic. But I am very fortunate that I have access to a special place that I can escape to, to help me make sense of things. In this video my typical walk is transformed by this magical place...
Good news for a change? Yes ... kind of. Nature of uncertainty in cancer treatment.
Переглядів 3168 місяців тому
"There is no evidence that we need any additional treatment at this moment". This is the kind of enigmatic statement that you get a lot of from cancer specialists. I concluded this particular episode of my Stage 4 metastatic/colorectal cancer journey with a clean result following my second lung surgery in addition to earlier bowel surgery. "Clean" means no obvious nasty bits at the moment not t...
The unexpected perspectives on time when living with cancer
Переглядів 3759 місяців тому
Living with this disease involves a procession of medical, personal, and the occasional cosmic milestones ... like the total eclipse that we experienced in our region on April 8, 2028. The timing of the eclipse was less than two weeks following my second lung lobectomy that removed a further half a lung. I had known about this eclipse for almost fifty years and was glad that I had the strength ...
Some good thoughts leading to next lung surgery
Переглядів 2869 місяців тому
Some good thoughts leading to next lung surgery
It's official ... taking the next steps in my cancer journey
Переглядів 36210 місяців тому
It's official ... taking the next steps in my cancer journey
My Cancer Bucket LIst (or F*&K It List)
Переглядів 45210 місяців тому
My Cancer Bucket LIst (or F*&K It List)
Healing thoughts following lung surgery
Переглядів 23810 місяців тому
Healing thoughts following lung surgery
Simplicity as a key to managing cancer
Переглядів 76511 місяців тому
Simplicity as a key to managing cancer
2023: Paul and Jo visit us in Montréal ...
Переглядів 9211 місяців тому
2023: Paul and Jo visit us in Montréal ...
Moving on to Stage 4 and what it means to me
Переглядів 66311 місяців тому
Moving on to Stage 4 and what it means to me
Montreal - Glen Le Mesurier outdoor art exhibit
Переглядів 24Рік тому
Montreal - Glen Le Mesurier outdoor art exhibit
Montréal Côte-des-Neiges walkabout
Переглядів 78Рік тому
Montréal Côte-des-Neiges walkabout
Tom Lee - Honorary Degree Convocation Speech - York University
Переглядів 144Рік тому
Tom Lee - Honorary Degree Convocation Speech - York University
Chester Tree video
Переглядів 199Рік тому
Chester Tree video
We take a day trip to go to the EX (CNE) for the first time in decades!
Переглядів 101Рік тому
We take a day trip to go to the EX (CNE) for the first time in decades!
Reflections on the funeral service for Joo-Hack (Paul) Kim
Переглядів 80Рік тому
Reflections on the funeral service for Joo-Hack (Paul) Kim
Finale for my series on cancer -- reflections on the past months
Переглядів 4652 роки тому
Finale for my series on cancer reflections on the past months
Reflection on passing of Queen Elizabeth II -- building my strength to get back to fuller function.
Переглядів 1152 роки тому
Reflection on passing of Queen Elizabeth II building my strength to get back to fuller function.

КОМЕНТАРІ

  • @helenmurphy9288
    @helenmurphy9288 15 днів тому

    Tom, true inspiration. ❤️

  • @ViewlessWings
    @ViewlessWings 16 днів тому

    Merry Christmas Tom! We're thinking of you!

  • @jeanknetsch9351
    @jeanknetsch9351 16 днів тому

    Thank you so much for being a part of my birthday party in the chemo suite! Cancer tried to steal my joy. It failed. I had homemade cinnamon buns for breakfast and put eggnog in my coffee. I spent the day with one of my kindred spirits, Lynne. I met you and your family and you all came together to create a special day for me. I feel blessed and humbled by these gifts. This is a memorable bday. I'll remember the kindness, the laughter, the music and the love that surrounded me today. The village expanded to lift me up. Merci du fond du cœur. J'apprécie vraiment ta gentillesse !

  • @Soozyvee
    @Soozyvee Місяць тому

    Tom, you continue to inspire and embody these words so brilliantly. Here's to you enjoying that trip in February!

  • @evolte2248
    @evolte2248 Місяць тому

    Love you Tom, God bless you and cure you

  • @maddielee7721
    @maddielee7721 Місяць тому

    🥰

  • @felipedepine
    @felipedepine Місяць тому

    Thanks for sharing Tom. Stay strong!

  • @Barrytong
    @Barrytong Місяць тому

    Thank for your radio.

  • @SunriseSurvivor
    @SunriseSurvivor 2 місяці тому

    Love this! Looks like the kids had a blast. How old were they? I took my son to see Springsteen when he was 13.

    • @tomlee6926
      @tomlee6926 2 місяці тому

      Great memories for sure. They were just a bit younger than your son.

  • @irishpeck
    @irishpeck 2 місяці тому

    Hey Tom, I just wanted to add that in my personal career you helped to shape the way of thinking that helped me climb my career ladder in the way I wanted. Enjoyed our time working together at Quanser and I will make a conscious effort to catch up on these videos to see how things are progressing. In the meantime I hope you and your family are doing well. Michael

  • @CherylS49
    @CherylS49 2 місяці тому

    Tom, I loved watching this recent video of you and where you are in your journey. I love that you are using art for therapy, with many benefits❤ You have a keen eye to see the shadow and highlights and are creating some great work. I am so glad you found this and are sharing it with all of us, who are praying for you and cheering you on. My gosh Tom, your son Eric is SO talented and I LOVE this song he created, telling the story and also encouraging you with you newest found gift. I honestly think this video and music is going to really big in Canada! It is fantastic!🙌🏻🤍 What a joy to watch this video. You have been on my heart a lot today and so glad I saw this. Keep on, my friend. 🙏🏻

  • @MarcoPescantin
    @MarcoPescantin 2 місяці тому

    Hi Tom. Fabriano sketch book paper. For dry pastel drawings. Stay strong! Ciao

  • @avy3586
    @avy3586 2 місяці тому

    Thanks for these videos Tom. It’s been a roller coaster of health issues with our family over the past 18 months… I find your messages really grounding and soul touching. Peace and love ol friend.

  • @charlesvanhorn1560
    @charlesvanhorn1560 2 місяці тому

    Tom, when you are engaged in a pastel painting, your whole being is focused on your work. Your pain and feelings of fatigue vanish, and time seems to stop. This is the wonderful therapy that art offers. I will pray for you because I know it works. I am a watercolor artist who has been painting for nearly sixty-five years. The thrill of creating has never vanished. I am so pleased to see the progress you have made. The more you paint, the more your skills will improve. May God bless you and your family.

    • @tomlee6926
      @tomlee6926 2 місяці тому

      Dear Charles. This is one of the most thoughful messages of support that I have received. Thank you.

  • @bobchirka5460
    @bobchirka5460 2 місяці тому

    Thanks for posting Tom.

  • @TreeOfWisdom2
    @TreeOfWisdom2 3 місяці тому

    Don't they have something for you? Immunotherapy?

  • @PoetsforHarris
    @PoetsforHarris 3 місяці тому

    Thank you for continuing to share your story so authentically.

  • @felipedepine
    @felipedepine 3 місяці тому

    Stay strong Tom, we are all here with you!

  • @SunriseSurvivor
    @SunriseSurvivor 3 місяці тому

    You’ve always had incredible strength of character Tom. Even as a teenager 😊. It’s just being pointed out to you now. Strength and hope 💪🏻 & 🤞🏻

  • @NatureArtMusic
    @NatureArtMusic 3 місяці тому

    An enlightening talk, Tom. Thanks for sharing. I have spent my career working for charities as a program manager and fundraiser. What started off as giving my gift of time - turned into receiving the gift of accomplishment. And a transition happened along the way… Helping others made me feel good about myself. That I mattered because I helped them. It wasn’t intentional - but it did help to validate why I committed so much time and energy to others… Also, I learned from them in return. I learned fortitude and commitment from people who faced incredible challenges. To see them soldier on, despite their difficulties was uplifting. So when I faced my own personal challenges, I knew that I could continue as well… So I encourage you to support others - like that other gentleman with cancer - when you can. We’ve been raised to handle all setbacks - and when we can’t, we feel like failures. So uncertainty and humility are difficult. But you’ve been able to face your personal challenges with aplomb and share with us. If you have the strength, I think you may be able to help more people one-on-one than with just your videos.

  • @abbygoodrum8736
    @abbygoodrum8736 3 місяці тому

    Happy Korean Thanksgiving! And thanks for this gift of this video and the music at the end too.

  • @mohammadmahdim6792
    @mohammadmahdim6792 3 місяці тому

    For me strength is when you have your own challenges and demons to conquer but still offer to lend a hand and save someone from their demons. You are one hell of a strong man.

  • @sylviarogier1
    @sylviarogier1 3 місяці тому

  • @rickturnr
    @rickturnr 3 місяці тому

    Good talk

  • @ImsunaSong-gw2gs
    @ImsunaSong-gw2gs 3 місяці тому

    Whoa..just stumbled on to this channel. Very powerful stuff! You got this!! 👍 ❤❤❤

  • @dannymeske3821
    @dannymeske3821 4 місяці тому

    My blood pressure came down when I accepted my fate. Now I smell the roses and feel the warmth of the sun! Volunteering and meeting new people js fun! Just keep going...❤

  • @lindapayne7134
    @lindapayne7134 4 місяці тому

    Tom, your video really hits home with me. I have Metastatic Breast Cancer, and have been living with it for 6 1/2 years. Initially we thought I’d only have a year or so. Cancer has 100% has changed me into the person I wish I had always been. I’m so much more patient, loving, generous and adventurous than I used to be. I worked so much all of my life and that was my primary focus in life. Now, my family, friends, learning new things, art and adventure are my main goals. Thank you for your video. I loved it.

  • @PaulMarangoni
    @PaulMarangoni 4 місяці тому

    Brutal. I can't believe this has happened to you Tom. I know we haven't seen each other in at least 20 years, but I have nothing but good memories of our interactions and times together, especially during our brief trip to New York City with our schoolmates. Your videos are super helpful and inspirational. I know it's a long shot, but I truly hope you can beat this.

  • @thorilllollke5358
    @thorilllollke5358 4 місяці тому

    Sending you positive thoughts from Spain

  • @davejaworsky8718
    @davejaworsky8718 4 місяці тому

    Such a worthwhile video Tom. And (spoiler alert) so glad to see the descriptor "Fun" in the ending. Life is all about fun, and I smile thinking about the fun of things, like FIRST robotics, so many years ago. Take care, and thanks for your creativity here. ....Dave

    • @tomlee6926
      @tomlee6926 4 місяці тому

      I'm so happy to hear from you! You are on my target list of walking buddies. Sharon and I now live in Uptown and we spend an awful lot of walking time in projects that you guided. You are a part of many of our daily smiles. I hope we can continue our chats for a long time to come. T.

  • @felipedepine
    @felipedepine 4 місяці тому

    Stay strong Tom. We are all here with you!

  • @ViewlessWings
    @ViewlessWings 4 місяці тому

    When there is a notification for one of your video updates I drop everything and watch. Thank you for the courage to share that you are sharing.

  • @richardweiss5466
    @richardweiss5466 5 місяців тому

    Thank you, Tom, for sharing your journey, for sharing your strength. Long may you run.

  • @LuanRocha667
    @LuanRocha667 5 місяців тому

    Hey, Tom. We are all one, we have always been and will always be one, so even if the worst happens, know that we are eternal (the real US, the real Self). Be in the present moment, since it is all we have. Thanks for sharing your story, much love. ❤

  • @abbygoodrum8736
    @abbygoodrum8736 5 місяців тому

    Very beautiful Tom, thank you for this video and for you. There is a Portuguese word that captures a bit of the emotion you describe or being both joyful and sad at the same time: Saudade. “…a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something or someone that one loves. Moreover, it often carries a repressed knowledge that the object of longing might never return.” Saudade “brings sad and happy feelings altogether, sadness for missing and happiness for having experienced the feeling.” They believe saudade is sometimes a welcomed thing. It brings pleasure, even if the pleasure is laced with pain.

    • @tomlee6926
      @tomlee6926 5 місяців тому

      what a beautiful way to express this sentiment ... obrigado!

  • @martinbaron2921
    @martinbaron2921 5 місяців тому

    Very inspiring Tom. I hope these next 3 weeks are the best 3 weeks of your life so far and get you ready to fight like a bastard!

  • @zahrak36
    @zahrak36 5 місяців тому

    Dear Tom, very sorry about your diagnosis. This is the first video I saw. Thank you for sharing your wisdom, strength, patience, courage, acceptance, and gratitude while facing such a life changing event. You are such a talented story teller sharing your life story in such an inspiring, honest, and humble way. The video and its content are very impressive and valuable. Sending you and your dear family positive thoughts and energies. All the power to you going through the treatment❤

  • @sylviarogier1
    @sylviarogier1 5 місяців тому

    I'm so sorry to hear about this latest diagnosis. 😢

  • @johnvellinga8487
    @johnvellinga8487 5 місяців тому

    Really sorry to hear this news Tom. But your positivity and approach will serve you well, no matter the outcome. Eric's music is really touching, but also upbeat, light and even fun.

  • @ThomasMckain
    @ThomasMckain 5 місяців тому

    You are an amazing person with a talented son.

  • @bonnienorris2691
    @bonnienorris2691 5 місяців тому

    Thank you for yet another inspiring video. Some day I may walk in your foot steps with a reoccurrence, and I will always refer to your comments about joy and sadness. My warmest thoughts are with you and your family as you approach another treatment plan. Your comments about emotional songs rang true. When I received my diagnosis, I made a playlist of all the sounds that brought memories forward. You must be so proud of your son and his talent. Agreed, utter mess! Many more good days!

    • @CherylS49
      @CherylS49 5 місяців тому

      Tom, right now my heart is sad to see this has evolved. You are an incredible man, with an attitude that is the same. It's just never fair, but your gift of telling us all your story, has me in awe of how you process it. You truly are so inspiring to us, who are praying and so holding hope for you. Thank you for sharing and your honesty. Eric, what a gift of words to music you have. I am so glad you played this song here for us Tom. May blessings be yours through all of this.

  • @lukeskirenko
    @lukeskirenko 5 місяців тому

    Sorry to hear that. I watch your channel with probably the same questions that you have... wondering how to make the best of such a strange life, and the hand that we're dealt. We all know some day down the road we have to face similar challenges... I hope you keep making videos.

  • @gretchenedelmon3888
    @gretchenedelmon3888 5 місяців тому

    I'm so sorry you are facing this change in the illness and all the mindset shifts that go along with that. Thank you for being so open with sharing what's on your mind. Much love to you and Sharon.

  • @RhialtotheMarvellous883
    @RhialtotheMarvellous883 6 місяців тому

    Did Eric do the Space Odyssey-esque chainsaw intro? That was very inspiring! Thanks for sharing. You are so calm and articulate in the face of uncertainty. Respect and love, my friend. Live long and prosper.

    • @tomlee6926
      @tomlee6926 6 місяців тому

      no, that's part of YT's royalty-free library ... I need to mod the credits slide for the next vid when I use the library! Also people often mistake my deer caught in headlights stillness as calm 🙂

  • @ViewlessWings
    @ViewlessWings 6 місяців тому

    "It's not normalcy, a sense of normalcy." A powerful perspective.

  • @parisasoltani8290
    @parisasoltani8290 7 місяців тому

    Nice video Tom. Thanks!

  • @ViewlessWings
    @ViewlessWings 7 місяців тому

    I was not expecting the four weeks later accomplishment! Thank you for sharing updates both positive and challenging.

  • @Lsmecca
    @Lsmecca 7 місяців тому

    Beautiful place Tom, wishing you more and more health

  • @georgemarques9075
    @georgemarques9075 7 місяців тому

    Echoing Chery's and other comments here especially around the importance of simplicity which is to be found in slowing down and letting go: of concerns, of worries and of the reactive impulse to bring under control the myriad conditions of daily life that we believe we should and must control in order for all to be well. We are in control of much less than we believe; behind the messy and complicated reality of daily life exists another reality exemplified by experiencing the basic senses of sound, sight, smell, touch and taste that we all share.

  • @OceanFrontVilla3
    @OceanFrontVilla3 8 місяців тому

    Some people take fenbendazole or ivermectin

    • @anniebee6215
      @anniebee6215 7 місяців тому

      Yes, that might turn out to be quite helpful as many cancers are found to be caused by parasites or fungus!!!