Відео

8:11 why patriarchy though? most of these problems comes because women put weird impossible expectations on eachother. sometimes it feels like women have an unquenchable thirst for perfection. this is a genuine question.

My mother is my worst enemy 😢

Put this in school curriculum STAT

I'm an only-daughter from a family of only-daughters. Men were only means to an end or useless. Pure matriarchy. And while I love the power, independence and thick skull I was raised into, there was so much pain in those relationships. I haven't talked to my own mother in 8 years. And yet I find myself yearning for other mother figures in my life. Now I'm a mother of 2 girls myself and while I'm incredibly fortunate in my marriage (we both are, really) I find myself absolutely terrified of making those same mistakes. I can't imagine my precious baby girls wanting nothing to do with me and being completely oblivious as to why. Every day I feel scared of being a bad mother and scarring them without realising, thus furthering the cycle. I'm pretty sure I'm not, but still. This video was beautiful. Thank you so much for making me tear up while cleaning my house. ❤❤❤

I am so grateful for my mother. She has generational trauma, immigrated from Asia, was a battered wife, and a rape survivor. She is still an amazing woman and everyone loves her. She truly is incredible to me and I am so fortunate she raised me. I am so sorry that many women don’t have someone like her for their mother and I hope they heal from their circumstances.

This was EXCELLENT

I don't want to be like my mother the way she treats me and her abusive language towards me i never want any one to deal with that trauma I'm terrified I'll be like that to my kids that's why I never want to be married n have kids im not worth of that family life 😅

Completely selfish vent below 3 mins in, and I'm already disconnected as a daughter who's so bare in feminine desires that I've never imagined being a mother or even a woman. I'm not dysphoric enough into being outright a transman, yet I'm too masculine-oriented to bother fitting in with the girlies & mothers. Yet I'm not man-coded enough to fit in with the boys either. Good gosh, what is my life

In the western world, where women have a choice in reproduction, this topic is inevitably tied to the question of whether one is really ready to have a child. No parent can be perfect, but having a child when your inner world looks like a battlefield sets the child up for a similar fate. Nobody should be subjected to this just because their parents felt like they had to hit some "milestones" in life. Otherwise, children are forced to ask themselves why their parents found them so despicable as to not spare them such a cursed existence.

Aah I wish Turning Red was talked about in this video too. But that doesn't matter! This was a wonderful video, and having watched EEAAO, I feel the most connected to it because of Joy's queerness. It means a lot to me. However I am trans and not a lesbian, so I actually fear turning into my father who I believe I'm more similar to, even in appearance. No matter what, I do not want to be like either of them.

My mother is a narcissist and also has histrionic traits. I'm 23 years old and I definitely don't want to be like her. Throughout my childhood and adolescence, I was forced to live with the horrible relationships she had and learn to manage on my own so as not to fall apart in the face of all the horrible treatment and psychological abuse she put me through. Having to deal with the women in my family in general was never easy (they are all problematic) but with her, it was impossible! I've decided that as a woman and as a human being who does not want future generations to go through the atrocities I did, I will break this cycle of abuse.

I’m not talking to my mom for more than a month now, and never thought this could happen. But here I am, crying in the bus with this videos, cuz you pointed everything the happened since I’m a kid

Thank you so much for the Chinese subtitles.

Wonderful analysis. Thank you

I don't search for this specific content (to be honest), but suddenly it appears on my timeline. Algorithm knows my deepest and darkest fear though. 😭🙃 Yes, I'm still afraid of stepping into marriage and have a child because of this fear. What if I become a carbon copy of my Mother? Or probably I'm getting worst, more than she had done to my life? What if my daughter hates me, just like myself to my Mom? Questions that will remain unanswered. 😭

Everyone constantly tells me that I am my own person and that I should not compare myself to my mom, but how can't I not do that when my entire life I've always heard how she has come so far in life just out of hard work and some luck? I love my mom. She is my hero, someone I wish I could be... But I'm not her. She's an amazing person, I love her, even if she overwhelms me with her love, I constantly believe she is sad that I haven't achieved her successes when she was my age even if she constantly denies it I love my mom, I wish I could make her proud, and I wish I could be my own person

I can't watch Lady Bird. Marion makes me so angry I want to throw my laptop.

I don’t feel comfortable leaving my mother with a small child due to the level of incompetence she exhibits.. but especially the male centering and way instantly puts down the female experience/ needs.. I remember realizing I was smarter than her in 6th grade… that her love was completely an utterly hollow.

oh okay so maybe i shouldn’t have watched this at my desk at work

idk why this but made me shed a tear

I have a wonderful mother. She made plenty of mistakes as a single uneducated mother, but she always showed me unconditional love and was willing to admit fault and change her ways when she did something wrong. My dad, on the other hand, never did anything to repair and own up to how shitty he's been as a parent and father. I have never been able to do anything well enough. He always tells me how great my three younger siblings are (from a different mother and much younger than me), even though they have objectively speaking not amounted to much. My dad was an alcoholic and drug addict (due to his own childhood traumas) who brought me to bars as a two year old before he left, became sober and started a new family. I managed to get a phd and become professor at the most prestigious university in our country. But he always expresses indifference towards my accomplishments. The mothers of these movies, mostly reminds me of my father

Wonderful video, thank you so much!

Damn. This felt like a therapy session

I feel like turning red is such a sweet example of daughter and mother relationships in Asian settings

To me the mean mother daughter problem in Lady bird and Everywhere, is that they both living a finical stressed life, they wants to offer their offsprings a "better life" there there is no hope within the pills of bills. Money can fix most of the issue in this sick world, the world is feeding us "expectations", non of my rich friends get those films, some of the female even ask how come those films are Oscar winners? Especially Parasite Lmao.

It is my greatest fear but one of them is that stupid anti-Burmese Michelle Yeoh movie.

Wow , this video is so profound and gave me so much fruit for thought and understanding in my own life and struggles. I knew the patriarchy was to blame for my mental illness jk of course, but life is not supposed to start and be so complicated from childhood for girls and women. I feel like men get a bigger freedom to just be as children while girls are already forced into adult standards of existence when they should be running around playing in mud. Good luck to us all , women and men living in patriarchy

This video just touched my heart. 💙 Everything everywhere all at once had me in literal tears 😭

This was beautiful and touching. After years of denying i want to be a mother I recently opened up to my partner that i do want children and its ripped open so many wounds and fears about who i will be and how i will become my own person and blossom myself as a mother.. i dont have dreams, maybe i gave them all up.. im worried i will remember too late 😔

From anger to tears, all sorts of emotions, making me dwell

It's not our perceived gender, it's our literal sex. That's why we're discriminated against. Our mother was discriminated against because she's female and had the ability to reproduce and get pregnant. If she at some point just decided to not be called a woman anymore, it wouldn't change anything of her reality. Stop softening your language to make men feel more comfortable when talking about female-only issues.

Excellent video ❤

This made me bawl my eyes out, it was validating, heartbreaking all rolled into one

I swear to myself that I will never fall in love or get married as I wish to never be my mother at all cost. I thought I could be different that I will be different from her but I in the moment of anger react the same way she was to me. The pure disgust when I see my own reaction, when people say oh you are so similar to your mother even as a compliment… I no longer have confidence to say I will be different from her. I can’t be a mother like her if I never be a mother in the first place.

Thank you for this video. So many things well said, and beautifully explained ❤ I wish I can like this video 20 times!

Reading these comments makes me sad, but also very grateful for the bond I have with my mom. She never needed me to be anything or do anything, only the things I wanted for myself.

I think another good movie that kind of fits with the theme is Turning Red!

Mother and Daughter relationships: Just two dumb bitches saying "Nooooooooo" to each other. Boyeahhhhh *smashes beer can on forehead*

This is another great reason not to have kids. You got me f'd up if I'm going to go thru what it takes to give birth to and raise a child just for them to resent me because I'm not a billionaire oil tycoon with a perfect family dynamic.

My biggest fear is becoming my father. My mother did the job of two ppl while he played the big kid, did drugs, and stole money. When my mom wanted a baby, he told her fine but he wasn't going to help like they were buying a pet instead of having a daughter.

great video, i cried like a baby listening to this. i can feel it so bad

Watching this as a girl with mommy issues 🙂👍

Ladybird was a boring self indulgent movie about a spoiled rich girl with no adversity in life. Everyone Everywhere All at Once was good and Michelle Yeoh’s character was the main character. It’s night and day. My only criticism of my mom is that she married my dad. I think people don’t know what abuse is. No parents are perfect. And in the two movies in the thumbnail, neither mother was abusive.

This is so good, compact and concise

32:06 what I love about Everything, Everywhere all at once was that it showed inter generational trauma and expectations but not just from mother to daughter but even from fathers and their children. Dang didn’t expect to be crying

12:46 “but love that lacks sympathy isn’t love that’s excusable”

5:04 omg the way the mother speaks to ladybird is so hurtful

What’s the movie at 1:03?

It`s also just evolution? Humans are a social species with strict yet extremely mobile hierarchies. Even in ancient times with Kingdoms inherited through lineage, there was an extreme amount of mobility depending on social standing. If an heir didn`t have the support from the other powerful families, they wouldn`t inherit. This is universal in history. Boys consistently test, and learn about boundaries OUTSIDE the home because male hierarchy competition is largely between other males based on charisma, skill, prestige, and physical dominance. That`s why boys tend to get in trouble at school, or outside the home. Through our evolutionary history, as well as our most closely related primate relatives, males leave their tribes and troops. They don`t stay with their parents or siblings. Nomadic tribes still exist today, and the swapping of males is far more prevalent for obvious reasons. Girls on the other hand test and learn about boundaries INSIDE the home against other females that are safest, and there is no one safer to a girl than her own mother. Females rarely engage in outright conflict with one another. Female hierarchies are largely social. You don`t see a woman lead other women by being able to beat up the other, or being better at a practical skill. They become the leaders by being better at socially outmaneuvering the other. Females in humans, and other primates have also largely remained with their own troops and tribes with few exceptions. Women generally remain with their mother, grandmother, younger sisters and some aunts. Group size tends to be the determining factor that influences whether a group of females separates or if there is tribal or troop warfare. This is especially true for chimps and humans which are most socially alike. It`s a given that a boy will need to be able to surpass his father eventually before feeling comfortable to strike out on his own. However, the practice for that is not running up against his own father for the most part, it`s running up against other males. Younger males in the same cohort tend to compete for dominance within a group. However, when groups get too large, they tend to split. If a younger male cannot out compete the strongest male of a group, or they are related to that group`s females, they tend to leave as a group of males seeking out females. Too many young, single males with few females is one of the most consistent predictors of conflicts in all primates and apes, including humans. There is an abundance of research on this, but the studies on the insane chimp troop warfare that occurred in. Just look up videos, or writings about the ``Gombe Chimpanzee War``. It had male warfare, yes, however, it also had daughters killing their own mothers. As females family members tend to stay together, usually the only way to move up in the hierarchy is to challenge your own sisters, and over throw your own mother. As humans and other prime apes are species that go through menopause due to the advantages of grandmothers, this doesn`t always mean killing them. However, it does insure that unlike males who tend not to have conflict within the homes, it is in our evolution that female domestic conflict is hardwired into us. With most nomadic tribes, most anthropological evidence we have of pre-Neolithic humans etc. early humans were in fact matriarchal in the way that the tribe was arranged around the ``breeding age female``, her mother, and her grandmother. Sisters did tend to stay together, but if the mother was young enough to still be able to breed AND if there were too many females, then daughters and sisters would defect off with.... groups of young, single males that had left their tribes and troops to find females. If the group was small enough, or had enough resources, young males would join these groups and raise children with the sisters and daughters of that matriarchal line. If the group was too large, or resources were scarce, the daughters would either compete to dispel aunts and sisters, compete with the mother, or defect. We don`t have many women getting pregnant at 21 anymore, the age of maternity has increased in developed nations which is why I think we`re seeing more conflict between mothers and daughters. Mothers to teenage daughters are very simply going to be in social conflict within the home due to the nature of human social hierarchies. Mother serves as training for social warfare in the outside world with unsafe adversaries. Our mothers are also older and tend to be in or nearing menopause when girls are reaching their teen and young adult years gearing them for conflict for hierarchy within their own families. For reference, from observing current nomadic humans, historical records, and anthropology, the average nomadic human tribe was only roughly 13 people. Social conflict is the weaponry of female primates, it`s just evolution. Though, it`s needlessly vilified. It`s no less valid to who we are as humans as boys play fighting with their dads, brothers and friends is. Or how boys compete and are assigned social standing due to things as arbitrary today as athletic ability. Athletic ability in school age years, particularly elementary age is STILL one of the greatest predictors of later social success and standing because of the social advantages it confers, and compounds later in life. A girl`s ability to form social networks and maneuver linguistically isn`t somehow less than. Arguably, it`s a more relevant skill to value in modern life than how fast someone can run, or how hard you can throw a ball. Yet... women`s social dynamics are almost always portrayed in a negative light.

I remember I cried when I watched lady bird. I resonate with her relationship with her mother so much 😢