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I’ll be honest when tobi started crying about racism I broke down seeing someone as kind and passionate and loving as him yet he still gets verbally abused, it proves what is wrong with this world

what video is it

~~~Disclaimer: This comment was started to say that I appreciate the sidemen but turned into a synopsis of my life, it's just sad, I just felt emotional and ranted.~~~ I nearly cried, I feel these struggles, seeing how they have improved so much despite hardships gives me hope, I lost my father to cancer when I was 7 ( now 22) when I was 14 my mom married again despite it being a huge taboo in India especially a small town like mine, my close family cut ties with us and I felt betrayed I loved my cousins like big brothers and sisters it hurt a lot. But we were misled by people about the man she married apparently everyone was so scared of him they just didn't dare, he was ex-army had killed his previous wife 6 months after she gave gave birth to their second son and made it look like a suicide, beat his own dad so much that he shot himself in the head infront of his grandsons, well life was hell for two years, my home felt like it was an unknown place, but then my mom read my diary and found out that I have planned my suicide, an approx month and ways to go were written and I was wondering what the fuck to write in my suicide note so that she would be less sad and not take her own life, she divorced him, even though he left, my home didn't feel like home, to this day it doesn't feel the same, I feel into depression atleast I think so as no one gives a fuck about psychology in India especially out of the Urban hubs, started college when I was 18, started drinking and smoking,at this time my mom had a spinal problem few nerves were getting pressure from spinal bones and the doctors said at any moment if the pressure increases her respetory system will totally fail and she will die, that phase was even darker, became very very heavy drinker and smoker, 20+ ciggerates per day, rare days when I am not drunk became destructive, in hindsight I might be trying to end myself in an indirect way, I used to get hammered alone and go to a very high cliff in a jungle known to have leopards, I used to be there at night too, I had injuries from that jungle many times by just being reckless and stupid. But one injury changed my life for the worse, I was hammered as usual, and I fell from a roof nearly 14 ft only luckily, I would have died if it was my usual spot at the cliff's edge, I tore a ligament in my knee, had a deep gash on my head, in my drunken state, I walked up hill with my broken ligament to my room and fell asleep, when I woke up it was hell, my friends took me to the local hospital on their bike, the worst part is during the recovery I gained weight I was 5'10 80 kg when I was injured, now I am 110 kg. It's been 1.5 years and I still can't lose it, my knee hurts whenever I put too much pressure, it's just so stupid what I have become, only positive is that I have been sober since January this year and stopped smoking 20+ everyday, still sneaking out for a smoke every few days, and recently I have been so negative especially since I clicked on a video, I don't even remember which one was it but It was a video about how Indians are stupid or something and more than the video the comment section shoked me, they were just so hurtful to me, I am from a small town in a third world country never seen much outside and only had a positive general view towards the global world but that video made me go into a spiral of many videos and for days I was feeling horrible I felt as if I was bad just because I was Indian, many women just straight up said that Indians as race is not good enough for relationship, and many many other videos I felt so small and berated, I stopped watching those kinds of videos but now normal videos from creators l loved felt weird, I felt a gap,like I am just pretending to be part of their community I feared they might hate me secretly for my race or nationality like the many other from those videos and comment sections, and I am not lying I just started watching the sidemen, they made me laugh and their realness made me forget that millions of people have negative opinion of my race. It's weird that I am able to hide most of this depression (not diagnosed) I am generally the most funny and outrageous out of my friend group (said by my friends) but it's weird inside, it's hollow and numb sometimes.

I struggle to sympathise with people who have no dad due to whatever reasons as I myself have never had one my dad whoever it may be left my mom on her own when she was 18 when she had me and has brought my up with no support and I’ll forever be greatful. I’ve never had a farther figure in life and have still lived my life to the fullest never needing one, what I’m saying is I guess I’m just tougher person because when people get really sad about their dad leaving or people make jokes like oh my dad left or things like that I don’t see the funny side. I don’t really know what I’m saying just that when people say they don’t have a dad or that they left or whatever I’m struggling to like sympathise with you because I’ve never needed one so I guess I just don’t know what i might be missing out on with a dad but all I’ve ever needed is my mom and now I’m 20 years old and she still looks out for me as best she can as I do her, but I’ll always struggle to have sympathy for those who no longer have a dad as long as they still have someone

I cried for Ethan

i can feel ethan. having issues with parents during the upbringing feels like a prison cell where are you can do is watch and you cant stop that from beign stored in your memory. and the worst part is carrying it on when your a teenager where you ahve panic attacks anywhere and its honestly shit as hell

0:17 annoying. I as a teenager also experiencing that now

Im 17 and i havent done anything in my life that i should already have like have my license i should have alrewdy have a job, all that good stuff, im too scared to play sports at school now when i use to the the best on every team, now i over think everything and i know future me has no future at all on the outside im always happy around friends and making jokes about everything, but when you by yourself it just hits you knowing you dont have a chance to do anything in the future because you're to scared to, while being disliked by the person thats supposed to love you the most, I guess I just feel really useless now and feel like talking about the future for me means nothing. I'm fine with it tho because younger me was on top of a mountain being the best at everything so I feel like that experience was good enough

I'm so pressed that I feel this same way

Vik: *goes on this scary rant about getting old* Vik: "Don't worry, I'm fine though" Tobi: "I'm gonna check on you later" Tobi is a real one

Ethan is such a relatable person.

Ethan is such a stand up guy and his story is so reletable. So glad he's still with us today

Poor JJ I feel bad for him

love u tobi im a young black man that my uncle died protecting me from a robbery of a racist group rip unc paul

At the end of the day , these guys are still human and experience struggles like the rest of us. Fair play to them for speaking about it

Ethan ❤ 🙌🏻

Poor everyone, poor Ethan, and poor KSI. Reading that his family thinks counseling to help everyone is against god, and hearing how harsh they are to him is awful.

Ethan's journey inspired me a lot. Pretty much shows how bad can things be, you can have a beautiful faith and have olives in your life and build it right back up, giving themselves things you were not able to get. Such a lovely person ❤

"I love my friends" is such a simple sentence but so amazing.

8:15 I relate to this so much which is why it’s important to fight everyday for yourself and to learn to love yourself.

Shit is wild honestly. Imagine your son is tryna fix the family and your first response is “therapy is de devil” 😂

Ethan's past really hits close to home, because I've been in the same situation and there was a point where I walked out the house intending never go back even dressed like I was going to school. My friend came running I'd attempted to overdose the day before and it scared the shit out of her, same with my other friends especially when they found out. I had one friend break down bawling she didn't realise how much my mental health had gotten to that point. She even dragged me to a counsellor. A day before high school graduation. Never went to it and while I kick myself now for it, I made a good decision it would have made my mental state worse, I had crippling anxiety by that point. Would have just sent me down a dark spiral. Ethan is more strong than he'll ever realise the fact he made the choice in the end to get help. I hope others just reach out in the future, someone cares and loves you. You might know it, but someone does.

what videos are all of these?

Mummybehz is a unit

I am so happy that Ethan made the right choice that night and sought help. Thank goodness he’s still on this planet

0:32 all of us gotta have one like tobi

The Tobi one got me

Ethan’s been through some shit, and was always the one laughing out of the group that shit is heartbreaking

4:06 Harry would come in and say, “a lot of physical baggage too.”

Ethan and his mom both went through hell....

I was not able to stop cryin

It's interesting that people who watch Sidemen videos don't really know about the people behind the group, how different and unique every member of the group is, and the backgrounds of certain members of the group is truly fascinating, like Ethan's upbringing, Josh's problems with anxiety, Tobi's issues, JJ's family issues, Harry being ushered in to help with his problems, they are all unique

This is god dammm hard 😢🥹☹️🥺😭

what is the 4:23 one

Toby noooo😢😢😢💔💔

Harry caring for vik at first

5:34

its enought to make a grown man cry

This really makes me sad

fuckkkkkkkkkk this is so hard im legit crying so hard

ethans mums a fucking legend

wait wait wait so the dad went to go buy the milk and never came back is true for ethan?

Only 2 comments

ethans mum is a so nice and i just wanna give her hug

Ethan’s story got me ugly crying and then tobi

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IS THIS FOR REAL

Look at ksi 😂😂😂😂

Nice

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