Відео

I'd like to add that 40% seems rather low. I'd put it MUCH, MUCH higher. And again, you are right, it is about the messaging. Somehow in the quest for sexual equality (no more double standards) and normalization of sexual pleasure, we lost our way. It is very sad, and very telling that we are just NOW talking about consent 50 years after the sexual revolution. As I pointed out below, consent was not a thing. It was implied. Both men and women bought into this idea. Yes, in THEORY, you could say no, but in reality, well it was like the old poem my mother used to quote me: "Mother, may I go out to swim? Yes, my darling daughter. Hang your clothes on the hickory limb, but don't go near the water." Saying no was the water you were not supposed to go near. Saying no meant you were frigid, you were a prude, you were a tease. Listen to some of the songs that were popular in the '60's and '70's--"Lady Willpower, it's now or never to give your love to me. Did no one tell you the facts of life . . .?" Consent? Never even heard the term! Give in or else! If you don't there's something wrong with you. What you two are facing is FIFTY YEARS of this kind of crap that went on unquestioned and unchallenged. And what I say goes for LGBT etc. youth as well, maybe even more, because I've heard that a lot of these youth don't even realize that they are this way until someone nonconsensually initiates them into that kind of sex. Except we all know that doesn't happen. It's ALL consensual, isn't it? What I think happened is this: the sexual revolution was initiated by sexual predators for THEIR OWN GAIN and the rest of us all bought into it (or most of us, not all of us did) because we did not understand this. We thought it was a good thing because of the language it was couched in and we did not look deeper. And now we are reaping the consequences.

I came of age during the sexual revolution of the 1960's and '70's. I was a naïve Catholic virgin who was sexually molested on her first date at the age of 18. The guy was someone I went to high school with. We went to a movie together and during the movie he forcibly French-kissed me and thrust my hand down his crotch. "I've got an erection, do you want to see it?" he said. I'd been brought up to wait until marriage--I certainly wasn't prepared for THIS! I knew better than to say anything to anyone about it, least of all my parents, because these things did not happen to Good Catholic Girls, therefore I must have done something to bring it on. Remember, this was at a time where if a woman got raped it was because she was asking for it. Things didn't get any better after that as far as dating was concerned. I was called names by BOTH men and women because I wanted to wait until marriage. I was called names by BOTH men and women because I wanted sex to be a mutual thing, which it was definitely not in my case. There was no such thing as date rape. There was no such thing as "Me Too." If you were dating that meant that you intended at some point to be sexually active, and I hate to say it, what point that was, was not determined by you. Go listen to Billy Joel's song "Only the Good Die Young" if you don't believe me. Yes, I am aware that he later said he wrote that song as a joke, but for many young women it was NOT a joke. A couple of years ago I had a conversation with a woman about 20 years younger than me who said that the reason she had sex with any guy she went out with was not because she was horny or that she had any emotional connection with them, but because she had been molested AS A CHILD and as a result learned that sex is something someone takes from you. By going to bed with these guys, she figured that she might as well try to get something out of it, as this was something they would take from her anyway. I could not in good conscience say she was wrong to have such a view. But for the grace of God or sheer luck, I'd be in her shoes. I survived with my virginity intact--but, the experiences I endured had a negative impact on me and to this day I have never married nor had any relationships other than short-term dating. At this stage of my life I do not think I ever shall. There is just too much damage that has happened--and I know I am not alone in this.

Thank you both for having this candid conversation on such an important topic! As an adult whose first sexual experience was nonconsensual as a teenager, so much of this really spoke to me and still does as an enby queerdo who has come out in their 30s. This idea of what everyone "should" be doing is so culturally toxic and continues to harm everyone. Thank you for continuing to do this work out in the world, it is essential and absolutely necessary that young folks especially have places to go and people to talk to 🫂❤️

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Definitely explain why you don't want to. If you keep saying no with no explanation your partner is gunna think you're playing games and leave.