Dr Paul Furey
Dr Paul Furey
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Building trust Pt 3: Perfect people
This is a good moment to talk about perfect people and trust.
We dream of having faultless leaders, utterly dependable colleagues, 100% decent neighbours and find ourselves feeling anything between slightly disappointed and devastated when they don't turn out to be so. We get the leaders we make, nowhere more so than in the boardroom where mistakes by executives can be treated as hanging offences, opportunities to learn and everything in between.
Perfect people don't exist and we must stop looking for them and commit to allowing leaders to develop solutions in situ, to make high-quality mistakes, to learn lessons that enrich the team and improve the company's performance.
Переглядів: 28

Відео

Building genuine trust: Part 2 Empathy
Переглядів 4014 днів тому
It's unlikely that anyone is ever going to really trust us if we don't understand their world view, opinions or feeling on things that matter to them, in and out of the board room. So, how do we show someone, quickly, that we really 'get' them or that we are even trying to?
Building genuine trust - Pt 1: Little acorns
Переглядів 3514 днів тому
Trust is a vital quality of relationships. When we trust people we are freer with both the truth as well as with new ideas and feedback. Working with people we trust is progressive, stimulating and interesting. It allows us to have conversations that get to the point quickly and enable us to solve even the knottiest problems before they get out of hand. This is part one of a 3-part series on bu...
Parallel lines
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Parallel lines
YT Intro 2024
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Welcome to the channel. This is what you can expect to find here.
You Tube Intro 2024
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You Tube Intro 2024
Leopards and their spots
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Is it possible to get a leopard to change its spots? #Leadership #Feelings #coaching
Can you make leaders coach?
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Aren’t leaders doing enough already?? Should they really be coaching as well? #leadership #coaching #mindset #psychology #empathy #honesty #realconversations #anger #communication #arguments #communicationskills #listeningskills #listening #feelings
I don't care what you think
Переглядів 873 місяці тому
Why would I listen to you? Why should I take you seriously? #leadership #coaching #mindset #psychology #empathy #honesty #realconversations #Investinhonesty #communication #arguments #communicationskills #listeningskills #listening #feelings
Agreement is a bad objective
Переглядів 294 місяці тому
Stop trying so hard for agreement. It doesn’t work very well. #leadership #coaching #psychology #empathy #honesty #realconversations #arguments #communicationskills #listeningskills #feelings #happy #anger
So you reckon you're a quick thinker...?
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Think that you have a quick mind in arguments? Think again. #leadership #coaching #mindset #psychology#empathy #honesty
We don't need great leaders
Переглядів 1196 місяців тому
Let's stop laying it all on leaders to be exceptional…
Stop talking so much in conversations!
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We spend too much time in conversations making a noise and too little time being quiet and thinking about what is being said by everyone.
How to be more honest
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How to be more honest
Krispy Kreme Honesty
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Krispy Kreme Honesty
Keep work rational
Переглядів 78Рік тому
Keep work rational
Feelings at work? Forget it!
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Feelings at work? Forget it!
Stop Arguments Instantly - PT 2
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Stop Arguments Instantly - PT 2
Stop Delaying Your Feedback
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Stop Delaying Your Feedback
Don't ask me why
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Don't ask me why
Talk to the weirdos
Переглядів 107Рік тому
Talk to the weirdos
I'm really good at arguing
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I'm really good at arguing
Get more honesty
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Get more honesty
Why people hide when things go wrong
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Why people hide when things go wrong
Are you in the way?
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Are you in the way?
Why am I getting defensive?
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Why am I getting defensive?
Keeping it together
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Keeping it together
Do the same thing
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Do the same thing
How honest are you being?
Переглядів 43Рік тому
How honest are you being?
Talk to real people every day
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Talk to real people every day

КОМЕНТАРІ

  • @aniket1956
    @aniket1956 День тому

    Thanks

  • @PaperClipFlip
    @PaperClipFlip 5 днів тому

    Found this very enlightening, thank you!! 😊

    • @paulfurey4122
      @paulfurey4122 5 днів тому

      Oh good. I'm pleased. Did my PhD. research on this very topic!

  • @grafxgrl8030
    @grafxgrl8030 8 днів тому

    I’m confused, lol. Are you saying ignore the thing that’s bugging you or tackle it because your mind has prioritized it for you by making it bug you until you deal with it?

    • @paulfurey4122
      @paulfurey4122 7 днів тому

      The latter. If it keeps on popping into your head deal with it first

    • @grafxgrl8030
      @grafxgrl8030 7 днів тому

      @@paulfurey4122 thank you 😊👍

  • @grafxgrl8030
    @grafxgrl8030 8 днів тому

    How do you keep them happy? Pay attention to their work needs, their personal life needs, or both? Other?

  • @davidcrawford9026
    @davidcrawford9026 9 днів тому

    What you really need is to empower victims and do t stand in the way of their justice

  • @scotthullinger4684
    @scotthullinger4684 9 днів тому

    Empathy leads to correct action regarding others ... whereas sympathy often does NO such thing.

  • @76Terrell
    @76Terrell 13 днів тому

    Disgusting neoliberal victim blaming. For anyone interested in how the exclusionary function of empathy as a filter of human social understanding is damaging the ways we research and relate to those who are neurodiverse, I strongly recommend reading the philosopher Erin Manning's essay titled Not at a Distance, on Touch, Synaesthesia, and other ways of knowing

  • @King_0f_Corinth
    @King_0f_Corinth 15 днів тому

    Good, great.

  • @misterdot6923
    @misterdot6923 15 днів тому

    these animation videos are wayyy underrated

  • @ConnieJay542
    @ConnieJay542 20 днів тому

    Love the video, can’t wait for more I’ll definitely be more self aware in my conversations 👍🏽

    • @paulfurey4122
      @paulfurey4122 20 днів тому

      Just little things but they really change the picture. Thank you for commenting!

  • @giantgrog
    @giantgrog 20 днів тому

    Thank you for the video. I really appreciate the effort ❤

    • @paulfurey4122
      @paulfurey4122 20 днів тому

      And i'm grateful for the comment...one doesn't always feel like it...and when someone gives you a funny look and you almost corpse right at the end of the take...

  • @BlossomField91
    @BlossomField91 26 днів тому

    I understand empathy as being able to imagine oneself in another person's shoes, sympathy is looking at another person in those shoes and thinking "oh that must be terrible, poor you." I think a good example is probably gender. I think people, generally, empathize best with their own gender, but less so with the opposite gender. It's a problem in gender politics (when discussing issues like feminism or men's rights), heterosexual dating, etc. I can honestly admit, as a woman, I have a hard time empathising with men on many issues, whereas other men can. Men often can't empathise with women, I'd argue they're even less able to do it than vice versa.

  • @AndT101
    @AndT101 Місяць тому

    Basically entire course of psychologists and how therapists work in a nutshell.

  • @0zen36
    @0zen36 Місяць тому

    Agreed

  • @abc-zq8yt
    @abc-zq8yt Місяць тому

    I agree. Thank you for the help.

  • @Cricket_Fanz7
    @Cricket_Fanz7 2 місяці тому

    Fantastic explanation😊

  • @MasterChimOfficial
    @MasterChimOfficial 2 місяці тому

    Great video. Succinct and spot on.

  • @gavinportier7838
    @gavinportier7838 2 місяці тому

    Looking forward to what you share this year. Hoping to see a return of Sticky & Chip 👍

  • @Mara.Isabelle
    @Mara.Isabelle 2 місяці тому

    what’s wrong with acknowledging that you’re a victim. every self improvement video I’ve watched condemns this “ victim mindset”. I genuinely think it’s healthy to admit you have been a victim of something & then move through healing instead of trying to run from the word or feeling.

  • @roxymcrae4645
    @roxymcrae4645 2 місяці тому

    This is really quite simple... Empathy= feeling someones feelings, whether you have experienced yourself is irrelevant, whether you do something to help is irrelevant. The point is simply that you have the ability to FEEL someone else's feeling (positive and negative feelings) Sympathy= feeling sorrow because someone is hurting, or in a difficult/painful situation. Regardless whether you help them or not or have been in a similar situation or not, you feel your own sadness for their pain. E.g I feel in my heart a pain (empathy) for my neighbour who has been evicted and is struggling to find a home, but i don't feel sorry (sympathy) for her as she probably shouldn't have broken all the windows and spray painted on the walls.

    • @paulfurey4122
      @paulfurey4122 Місяць тому

      Kind of... in the case of empathy I might feel a bit of or a lot of what your going through...but it's not necessary... I could feel irritated that you got yourself into the same mess AGAIN (!) but still be conscious enough of what's doing on and to want to assist by simply using my recall or imagination to think myself into your situation (because I know that it will probs help you and perhaps even me to stop feeling so irritated...and therefore more able to apply my mind to your predicament

    • @novelcoronaheads
      @novelcoronaheads 27 днів тому

      Sympathy doesnt always mean feeling sad and someone hurting is not always a part of the equation...Sympathy means to agree...Its the (feeling) you get right (before) you make a decision to join or provide help or assistance wherever you feel its needed or speak in favor of someone or something or align yourself in correspondence with someone or something...When a person place or thing that you sympathize with is hurt or in trouble it bothers you...Whether you intervene directly or not is another subject...

    • @roxymcrae4645
      @roxymcrae4645 27 днів тому

      @@novelcoronaheads I'm sorry but sympathy does no means to agree.... "My friends Dad died in a car accident, I have so much sympathy for his family" does not translate to.... I have so much agreement for his family. Sympathy literally means to feel sorrow or distress, so "sad" may have been not quite the right word but the premise is the same... But then you basically repeated me 😊 "When a person is feeling hurt or in trouble it bothers you, whether you intervene directly or not is another subject"

    • @roxymcrae4645
      @roxymcrae4645 27 днів тому

      @@paulfurey4122 maybe 🤔 I personally think that irritation is its own feeling irrelevant to empathy... You could have empathy for someone while being pissed off by them, you could have empathy for someone while feeling happy also (this is probably reserved for psychopaths tho😊)

    • @joshclark44
      @joshclark44 9 днів тому

      Yes and this video poorly explains that. Also there's apathy where you don't care at all

  • @kevwiltshire6365
    @kevwiltshire6365 3 місяці тому

    Similar approach to non-violent communication - empathic guessing to get to the real feeling, then to the underlying need (which is either unmet or met, depending on whether the feeling is negative or positive, respectively).

  • @Bill0102
    @Bill0102 4 місяці тому

    I'm spellbound by this. I read a book with similar content, and I was absolutely spellbound. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint

  • @user-hy7cg9jg5r
    @user-hy7cg9jg5r 4 місяці тому

    Both are physically impossible.

  • @natetete1379
    @natetete1379 5 місяців тому

    Empathy is how you make someone feel better in the moment sympathy is how you fix a problem always choose sympathy

    • @TurkeyJoe
      @TurkeyJoe 4 місяці тому

      Ah...think you have things a bit back to front there.

  • @user-yp2sc1cy1n
    @user-yp2sc1cy1n 5 місяців тому

    Forgot the third response option that's very common in the individualistic West: don'tgiveafuckery. 😎

  • @AWayOfLiving84
    @AWayOfLiving84 5 місяців тому

    🫨

  • @ilearnedsomethingnewtoday6193
    @ilearnedsomethingnewtoday6193 6 місяців тому

    They are both flawed concepts

  • @michaelbartlett6864
    @michaelbartlett6864 6 місяців тому

    Paul, you act as if the entire system isn't totally corrupt, and that all the team players want the same thing! Example - Both Donald Trump and Joe Biden, and damn near every one of the 535, bought and paid for members of congress, have succeeded in making me ashamed to be called an American because of what they do in my name, and that was a hard task for them to accomplish, but they did it! I am over 70 years old now, a veteran of the Vietnam era, and the son of a 30 year career command officer of the US military. What an international joke our country has become. No moral compass, only GREED, EMPIRE and HEGEMONY! Today, the ONLY things exceptional about Americans are our sky-high levels of Ignorance and apathy! You certainly can't blame young people for protesting and being disillusioned with Biden and most Democrats when they join with Republicans in supporting the apartheid state of Israel, Netanyahu, and the IDF in their genocide and occupation of Palestine. Biden had an opportunity after October 7th to approach the situation with calm and diplomacy, but he chose to unquestioningly support Israel in whatever atrocities they chose to inflict on the civilians in Gaza! Whatever Biden does from this point forward will be too little, too late! I voted for Jill Stein and the Green Party three times now and I will continue to vote for her until a candidate is seriously advanced by the duopoly that is NOT a fascist or committed to the "Status Quo"! Republicans are insane and the Democrats are crazy. Neither Obama, nor Bush, nor Hillary, nor Trump, nor Biden have been willing to go against their oligarch corporate paymasters to do what is right for the people, and they wont until people wake up and force them to. The only tools you have are your voice and your vote and as long as they can count on you to sacrifice your actual values every 4 years to vote for what they convince you is a lesser evil, you will never get what you really want, only more of the duopoly status quo. If Biden really cared about the people he would drop out of the race. Is he marginally better than Trump? Sure, but he is not suitable nor morally qualified to lead this country! The western media has behaved absolutely shamefully during this latest conflict and for over the last 60 years in shilling for the apartheid state of Israel! I'm thinking Republicans are converging around the "5G Plan" of Gods, Guns, Gender, Grift and Genocide! If you watched the Republican debate Wednesday Night, 11/8/2023, among all these right-to-life, "Pro-Life Conservatives", there was not a single voice raised in opposition to Israel's genocide in Gaza! Every single candidate gave full-throated support to Israel and their plan for extermination and removal of all Palestinians, including Trump, who cowardly chose not to appear on stage with the others! With the unanimous election of their new Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson, they demonstrated their Christo-Fascist disdain for the founding principle of separation of church and state and their wish for Christian Sharia Law to be the law of the land in America! The apartheid state of Israel, that created Hamas, should be subjected to international boycotts, divestitures and sanctions and all US financial and military aid to Israel must be stopped now! Israel has turned the open-air prison of Gaza into a DEATH CAMP where showers of bombs have replaced the gas showers of the holocaust! The money the US gives to Israel comes back to America through AIPAC, ADL and a host of other groups to destroy our democracy! AIPAC must be ended NOW! Biden and our entire AIPAC-controlled government has the blood of thousands of children on their hands! In the Democrat Party only Rashida Tlaib, shamefully censured by congress, and the other members of the AOC Squad and the Justice Democrats are voicing support for the Palestinians! It is NOT our fault that a fascist like Trump enjoys such huge support from the MAGA Morons, it is the fault of the corporate media that fails to tell people the truth and point out Trump's idiocy to his cult base! But, just how much evil are we willing to let Biden do before we make him pay a price for it? Your vote for Biden, after you know his positions, are a stamp of your approval for what he does in our name! As the abolitionist Frederick Douglas said, power concedes nothing without a demand, it never did and it never will. Find out just how much oppression any group of people will submit to and you have the exact measure of injustice and wrong that will be imposed on them. This is as true today as it was then! We can not continue to reward bad behavior from our elected officials. While I will condemn and NOT condone the attack on October 7th, I can also rationalize that it was provoked by more than 50 years of illegal occupation and genocide by the apartheid state of Israel. When you make peaceful change impossible, you make violent uprising inevitable! The only solution to this situation is for the apartheid state of Israel to ceasefire and stop the genocide, end the illegal occupation, abandon the illegal settlements, retreat to, at the very least, the pre-1967 borders and allow the occupied territories complete freedom from Israeli interference! CEASEFIRE AND FREE PALESTINE NOW!!

  • @gavinportier7838
    @gavinportier7838 6 місяців тому

    Thanks Paul. Like this. Leadership is a role of the team.

  • @unknowntbd
    @unknowntbd 6 місяців тому

    2:30 only empathy has the power to get someone up and running again

  • @ionwraymedia
    @ionwraymedia 7 місяців тому

    I use this audio with customer service representatives that work for businesses that annoy me.

  • @ryeli3668
    @ryeli3668 7 місяців тому

    keep uploading please. these are amazing. i randomly found you and you are an awesome individual. you give me hope

  • @HAAH999
    @HAAH999 8 місяців тому

    Your videos are gems. I am glad to discover your channel. Please add more more videos soon

  • @LandAnchor
    @LandAnchor 8 місяців тому

    Thank you ❤

  • @katerynasmyrnova4373
    @katerynasmyrnova4373 8 місяців тому

    It really is. I’m always angry with automatic I’m sorry. If a person just says I’m sorry without even understanding the nature of what happened and my values that he violated - that makes me even more annoyed and completely frustrated. Your animation tips are very valuable! It’s a huge job for you. Style of explanation brilliant !!!Thank you!

  • @user-ff9to5if1k
    @user-ff9to5if1k 8 місяців тому

    That's Good ❤

  • @sociologie4507
    @sociologie4507 9 місяців тому

    As a scholar and researcher, I am very good at pressure situation that are NOT interactional, when I am in my office alone or with a colleague and we have to run analysis, come up with solutions, etc, but in the classical meeting with stakeholders and non-tech people, thinking on my feet and the ability to be a situation-shaper..... not as good, I want to get good at it, great at it. The good thing about having a PhD is that I know I just need to put my mind to it and get good at it. Thanks Dr. Furey for another good video.

  • @sociologie4507
    @sociologie4507 9 місяців тому

    Dr Furey, this is hell of a good video. I like how you can use discursive strategy that talks to your audience while talking to your own highway of thoughts and feelings at the same time. Its pretty clever, and seemingly evidence-based.

  • @buskingkarma2503
    @buskingkarma2503 9 місяців тому

    I'm autistic so empathy really doesn't always come easy,and I can often get led into all kinds of trouble by following my heart/sympathy! Kinda why I'm here lol

    • @millerrepin4452
      @millerrepin4452 8 місяців тому

      I would say don't worry but that's going to be a problem for the rest of your life lol.

    • @nathanly2878
      @nathanly2878 6 місяців тому

      I find your predicament relatable, and being in that situation must be tough, confusing, and full of challenges. Viola, that is an example of empathy - remember how it makes you feel and how it was done.

    • @JulianRodriguez-bt6kc
      @JulianRodriguez-bt6kc 5 місяців тому

      Dude same. I’m autistic as well and I have no damn clue what the difference is

    • @paulfurey4122
      @paulfurey4122 Місяць тому

      (well done). Yup. You'll have to find workarounds and get good at looking for clues since you don't have the luxury of the emotional connection of dots that comes easy to some of the rest of us. When I can't tell how someone is feeling i tell them just that: "I'm trying to figure out how you're feeling about this... I suspect it's not great but I can't actually tell..."

  • @AVinas-hi8sx
    @AVinas-hi8sx 10 місяців тому

    Complete nonsense. Look up the definition of sympathy: it’s when two people have the exact same feeling caused by a shared experience. If a child dies, their parents grieve deeply, and they sympathize with each other because they both experienced the same loss. People outside their family may empathize with their loss but they can’t feel the same emotions as them. Why is the same false narrative repeated in so many places?

    • @novelcoronaheads
      @novelcoronaheads 9 місяців тому

      You almost got it right...Sympathy doesnt have to be caused by a shared experience...If I feel bad about seeing others lose a child(thats sympathy)..It doesnt require any deep understanding about the situation...Shared experiences are empathic triggers..which in many cases may actually deter help because some people(empathy seekers) like to see others suffer the way they have...

    • @offchan
      @offchan 5 місяців тому

      Let's say you see a homeless guy on the street, you sympathize by feeling that it's a terrible situation to be in, you started to cry also. But later you ask the homeless guy and he said he likes being homeless. So in a way you sympathize but not empathize because you don't understand his true feeling.

  • @AtamMardes
    @AtamMardes 10 місяців тому

    "Human beings are members of a whole; In creation of one essence and soul; If one member is afflicted with pain; Other members uneasy will remain; If you have no sympathy for human pain; The name of human you cannot retain." Saadi Shirazi

    • @rosetheserpent
      @rosetheserpent 3 місяці тому

      My hand doesn’t suffer because I stubbed my toe nor do I lose vision, because my nose is stuffed. As above so below. Empathy is fear function it is something activated in the basal ganglia in a response to potential unpleasant and or threatening events or stimuli. For example if I see someone chop off his finger while using a particularly sharp knife I might feel a hollow or sinking sensation in my gut, cold sweats, and/ or accompanied by sudden flushing itchiness, and a racing heart. I do not mistake this for the other persons experience there pain is there own it doesn’t effect me. The body was merely attaching the memory of the event with a painful experience because that will be easily recalled if I ever use the knife. Most everybody has this form of empathy hard wired in there brain and attach it to a learned and cognitive empathy which is what a psychopath has to rely thus development of it is prioritized in the brain for survival. Because a psychopath generally lacks the fully functional inhibitory pathways in the brain having to do with fear reaction and reward or relief. Normies therefore lack empathy and a backbone and are deluded and irrational.

  • @zuric1824
    @zuric1824 10 місяців тому

    Wow

  • @ryanparra1635
    @ryanparra1635 11 місяців тому

    Great video man i hope this was in Spanish but hey we will make due

  • @kimlec3592
    @kimlec3592 11 місяців тому

    Very much not done but should be.

  • @kimlec3592
    @kimlec3592 11 місяців тому

    Thank you for this realistic explanation.

  • @onlywayisforward
    @onlywayisforward Рік тому

    Anger does not come from fear You have confused the two, you aren't angry you are scared.

  • @decademansi2002
    @decademansi2002 Рік тому

    Thanx it help me for my project😮

  • @TheRealLachlan
    @TheRealLachlan Рік тому

    i dont get it

  • @thestandupphilosophers
    @thestandupphilosophers Рік тому

    great animation, the great philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche would agree with you, as per this ua-cam.com/video/XQRk0g3hVGo/v-deo.html

  • @jdiddy7626
    @jdiddy7626 Рік тому

    cheerio