Відео

My entire channel - shorts are just the doorway not the house, - However my 'new to the channel? - start here! playlist is your best bet. www.youtube.com/@InsomniaTalks/playlists

Happy to help!

Thank you Lynn. The problem I see is that not all of it is 'wrong' it's just that there is no softness, no nuance, no tailoring. Insomnia is all about control and obsession which is why people fall down the rabbit hole of avoiding ALL caffeine, and never eating too late (so no more restaurants that you used to enjoy) and ..... and you also must to this that and the other to sleep and take that - but good sleepers don't do any of this. So the strictness of his approach and the lack of understanding how insomnia drives people down this path of obsession can feed insomnia as it convinces people that sleep is something you can force and control. Whereas, once you have rebuilt peoples pattern of sleep and get the body clock and sleep drive working for them again, the complete absence of focus, control and effort is what is helpful - after all this is what good sleepers instinctively know to do. 95% of my work is undoing the unhelpful behaviours people have done to protect and force sleep and just getting them to live their life again so insomnia is not the only thing they have in their life. It's the narrowing of life due to the condition that is so problematic. and of course if insomnia has been the only thing on your mind all day, naturally you will bring that anxiety and obsession into the bedroom at night time when the lights are off and there is nothing else to think about. I say it all the time, insomnia is fixed the second you wake up, not at night time! But like I said in the video, I really don't dislike Matthew as I think he means well. But with the fear he creates around insomnia - I do believe he does not help people. I was one of the people who he made insomnia worse for and I have lost count of the number of clients I have had who were maybe sleeping a little bit poorly, read his book and then developed long term chronic insomnia. I do believe perhaps my resentment that he made my insomnia worse may have crept out a little bit in this video! However, most of my work is far more upbeat and softer! Thank you very much for your comment, well yes ideally one day I will be a much bigger voice, and as long as I keep going - give it 10 years I think I will get there, in the mean time I truly and grateful to every single person who watches the channel and helps spread the message - and whilst 1000's of thousands of people is better, 1000's of people subscribing / buying the books is still good enough!

Thank you for your kind words! Behaviour changes (outlined in the videos) patience, self kindness and reasonable consitency (good enough not perfection) over a long enough time period and you will see improvements

Hi, too a certain extent yes. But of course inevitably you will have less energy and your workouts will be less intensive / not as long / involved as if you had had a really great night of sleep. This is inevitable. But really it's just to take the power away from insomnia. If you train the brain that you have a poor night of sleep and you literally cannot do anything the next day and spend the day on the sofa googling insomnia, obsessing more and more about the previous night it's not helpful. So it's just about doing something rather than nothing, whatever you are capable of, with the understanding of course poor sleep will effect it. But it's not the choice of all or nothing. It's what can I do, let me at least turn up the gym and see how I feel when I'm there - you might surprise yourself. Also, you are massively over estimating the impact of training after a poor night of sleep on your long term health. You're a body builder and I believe footballer correct? You are some of the fittest people on the planet, in fact I believe there was a study where for endurance pro footballers came out on top. Of course, running for 45 minutes a half non stop. Your diet will be on point, your exercise, your... There are people that spend their days never exercising and eating bad food. You are not one of them. Your long term health will be fine. Keep following the advice to improve your sleep, keep up the regularity and consistency and overall your sleep will improve. But on the nights that you do sleep poorly in the meantime. Stick to the wake time / consistency and you will just get a better night sleep the following night. I had chronic insomnia for 20 years, I have no long term health consequences and as I generally tend to eat reasonably well and do enough exercise to stay healthy considering I'm 40 I feel great. 2 decades of Insomnia didn't cause me irreparable harm physically, and these difficult nights will not cause you irreparable harm either. You will get them less and less the more you stick to these behaviours, but in the meantime try to take the fear out of them, you'll be fine. And if you can take the fear out of them, this will help to stop having them.

Hi Dan, don't turn it into a struggle. Perhaps go to bed say 30 minutes - 1 hour before the sleep window starts and read / listen to a podcast and then simply stop looking at the clock and turn off the light when you feel sleepy. This is called a timeless sleep window. It stops the obsession of wating for the sleep window to start like waiting for a bus. You can adapt things - really the purpose of the sleep window is to build your pattern of sleep and to stop people spending excessive amounts of time in bed, but the objective is to move you towards normal sleep when you simply go to bed when sleepy (or if you're already in bed turn off the light etc) and wake at the same time. You don't want to make the sleep window so hard it becomes another controlling element around your insomnia. Soften it - nothing will catch fire!

No you don't need to be perfect, just good enough. But in the early stages of fixing it it's best to be reasonably tight around it and then you can soften it. A general awareness of why it's helpful is good, and a balance. 1 hour lie in now and again - who cares, won't make a difference. Constantly trying to get as much sleep as you possibly can in the short term and not making any long term habit and behaviour changes so the body clock and sleep drive never knows where it stands and always hoping the next kiwi fruit, warm bath or supplement will get to the root cause of a long term chronic problem.... Well people can carry on with that if they want, it's tempting to especially when you don't know and have never proven to yourself how well the alternative works ( I did the old way for 20 years - I got worse and worse) but if you want to fix your insomnia long term, it may be helpful to make some long term changes. Or not - people don't HAVE to do anything. But if you read the comments from the people who have CHOSEN to make the hard,long term changes until they became habits and then easier to do than not, they're glad they did.

And should i disclose one thing . I had a zero sleep night and i denied to play the semi final game from my team and stayed at hotel which caused huge fine and reduction in my salary 😭

Hi Ravenwild, there is nothing magical about physically leaving the bed and the bedroom. It's just to break the habit of lying there ruminating. So there is great alternative called counter control which you'll find here - ua-cam.com/video/pJ8hkgJJAgE/v-deo.html Or if you prefer stimulus control the chair / table area can be set up for this. The rings / watches etc are useless at tracking sleep. They only measure heartbeat and movement which varies from person to person. The brain is not the wrist --- i'd advise stopping wearing to bed as they provide incredibly inaccurate information and just create more obsession around sleep. Thank you! I have more first book and also a bundle book called 'Your 2 in 1 CBTi book" Joe

@@InsomniaTalks Thank you. I was sent to a "sleep specialist" who wouldn't listen when I told him I had tried every sleep behavior modification I could that he suggested. He was totally robotic and so unhelpful. He was the one who recommended the Fitbit..lol. Again, thank you for taking the time to reply.

@@ravenwild5184 Yes I run up against this all the time. People who have seen 'specialists' with very impressive qualifications and just take a sledgehammer one size fits all approach to CBTi - full of very strict rules and regulations and not at all personalised. I had one client who told me that their specialist told them if they couldn't sleep in the night, because they also just had one room to use so couldn't do stimulus control they should just go for a walk. Problem is they were a woman in a dangerous city - crazy. When people do these really strict courses often I can find they come away even worse, completely obsessive around their sleep worrying if they put one foot wrong everything will catch fire. Good sleepers make no effort to sleep whatsover, no force, no control ... nothing. Once I help people rebuild their pattern of sleep this the end goal, and you can never get people to that stage if you put them on a sleep boot camp - not helpful. Yes take a look at my bundle book 'Your 2 in 1 CBTi book' it literally has everything you need. And I give you full permission to disregard everything your specialist has said already please. Loads of people have no clue when it comes to insomnia

I adore your direct feedback Jill ! It's very refreshing. You can't please all the people all the time. I'll let you into a secret - I don't like this style either - which is why I use it very infrequently. But it works - so I still do occasionally. The majority of the UA-cam audience are young people and unfortunately with TikTok and Call of Duty attention spans are very short. The algorithm loves the aggressive, fast paced, click bait style (that you hate) and due to the high CTR (click through rate) and retention on this video - after only one day it's already started to push the video out to a wider audience (which is very rare) So long term I predict this video is going to be one that does very well - which will mean it will help a lot of people as after watching it they may then be fortunate enough to discover my much calmer, empathetic, softer, evidence based content that accounts for the vast majority of my channel (which I also personally much prefer) Here's one of them: ua-cam.com/video/GEGt3FWctlI/v-deo.html And here's another: ua-cam.com/video/RAehqZ47jIo/v-deo.html And here's a really good one which ticks all the boxes: ua-cam.com/video/EbAeCyOc0Fo/v-deo.html And here's me with a dog which is a presentation style and manner I utilized only once as an experiment after too many ales so it's basically a load of nonsense. ua-cam.com/video/iJvEwyA2QYw/v-deo.html You may wish to watch some of these videos. But you probably won't. And that's fine too.

Really happy my book and content has helped you and thank you for taking the time to comment. Yes when you stop with all the 1001 other things to control / perfect / protect your sleep and just put a few changes in place that actually help it's amazing how quickly you can see results. I notice also from your content you are a serious about the gym. It's surprising how many body builders develop insomnia, they represent a significant proportion of my clients . They hear about how important sleep is for muscle recovery / performance etc (which of course it is) start going to bed when they are not sleepy to try to increase sleep duration beyond what the body naturally wants to give them, supplements, avoiding caffeine etc then... total obsession around sleep which turns into insomnia. Without knowing your own story i'm not saying this is you, but it's a common scenario I see! Would you mind doing me a massive favour and clicking the stars on my book on Amazon? Also if you need any more help just comment with questions on any of my videos and i'll answer them, and again, happy you're doing well!

@@InsomniaTalks Of course I will give you 5 stars on Amazon! Also, yes... I am a (natural) bodybuilder and I think hearing about the importance of sleep and how some people sleep 10 hours, I thought I was missing out on important sleep for recovery. It was in the obsessive cycle. You have no idea how much you helped my life. Seriously, thank you for your work sir. I will try direct people to you if they ever ask me of how to deal with insomnia!

Hi, so naturally after a poor night of sleep you will have less motivation to go to the gym and when you are there you may not lift as heavy / do as many sets / reps etc. This is normal. But I would say definitely if you can still go! The more you allow insomnia to push you around / tell you what you can and can't do with your life the more it will take from you. If you have a laundry list of 1001 things you HAVE to do because you can't sleep and a laundry list of 1001 things you now can't do or avoid doing it only feeds the condition. So yes, accept the inevitable that perhaps the motivation / commitment when at the gym may be lower but go anyway! You may just surprise yourself and when you are there mid exercise you forget about your poor night of sleep. And whats the alternative? sitting on the sofa detaching from life obsessing about the poor night you just had and giving it more power over you? Part of the treatment plan is getting people as best as they can to get stuck back into there life. Easy, no. But I'm not asking people to do anything perfectly or to do anything I didn't have to do myself when crawling out of insomnia. Baby steps. You'll get there.

Even if i get multiple nights of poor sleep ?

Hi, sorry I missed this the first time round - Hypnic jerks fall under the category of a parasomnia (sleep walking / eating, night terrors, sleep paralysis... all parasomnias) You fix parasomnias the same way as you would insomnia by improving your sleep quality (which is what this entire channel is about!) So out the same behaviours in place I outine on the channel and you'll see an improvement. Video on hypnic jerks here! ua-cam.com/video/qSUzxBFf-3Y/v-deo.html

I think this is a reflection on the obession and control around having to grasp sleep as it feels like something you have to fight and struggle for so naturally the frustration and anger is going to be there when you have it 'snatched away from you' Long term, when there is literally no anxiety around sleep whatsover, you will reach a point where you'll be woken up, roll around, and go straight back to sleep as if nothing has happend. But you're not there yet, so yes maybe start by going the area where you won't be disturbed just to get your sleep back on track and sleeping well again. After a while then you can return to this bedroom if you want, with the understanding that yes, you may well be awoken but ultimately you can't possibly control and make your environment perfect and that sleep will come after being awoken if the anger and anxiety isn't there. But baby steps first, get sleeping better first to get into a better head space, then take on the challenge of going back to this other environment.

@@InsomniaTalks thank you for the reply ❤️

Happy to help! Yes that instant anxiety is the conditioned response of the bed being a place of worry and wakefulness. If you haven't already i'd start with the New to the channel? Start here - Playlist ua-cam.com/play/PLZCxSx-clg_iQVf41w8-GP4lQxIa88xHk.html This would be your best port of call to start learning quickly what to do. After that, I have an advanced playlist where you'll learn the nuances - but yes people have literally cured their insomnia just from my channel alone so it has everything you need, I also have an online step by step course on my website too (sleepze.com) but hopefully just the free content on the channel will be enough! Joe

Hi Thanks for your message, Often people can get very obsessive around the sleepy rule, am I sleepy yet, where is the sleepyness gone, etc etc. This can actually drive the control and obsession around insomnia - luckily I already have a video that here! ua-cam.com/video/b_hU-GfGerU/v-deo.html Also the 15 minute rule where you have to leave the bed and the bedroom - I don't teach that either as it just reinforces clock watching - also if you have to leap out of bed after 15 minutes you will never learn to be OK with being in bed awake, which is fundamental to escaping insomnia - But as fortune would have it I have two videos on this topic too! ua-cam.com/video/-xtrEXkFGnE/v-deo.html ua-cam.com/video/pJ8hkgJJAgE/v-deo.html You'll find that with my channel, whilst at it's core is CBTi it is very very different from traditional old school CBTi as I blend in other techniques such as exposure therapy, ACTi, positive phycology and tweak and modify a lot of the CBTi teachings to make them softer and more intuitive. So i'd recommend having a binge watch of all my videos as you may find you much prefer my approach, most people do!

@@InsomniaTalks Thank you very much for a detailed response. I will surely watch those epizodes

Hi Dan, yes I remember. Yes this can happen sometimes that people are simply not at the point yet to be mentally able to do it, but if the seed is planted and you do it later... well at least you've done it, glad it is all starting to move in the right direction! Joe

Some Americans also have 'proof' the 🌍 is flat.

​@@InsomniaTalks😂😂👑👑👑👑

Really happy to help!

Yep. Showing the brain you can still have decent days regardless of the night definitely helps

100% spot on, you can't let insomnia push you around as if you give it and inch it will take a mile. Take a look at what insomnia has taken from you and little by little start moving towards getting that back.

I do but not as often as I used too. I feel it increases my anxiety. Probably my brain thinking I need sleep for recovery. I do miss training regularly like I did before insomnia

I would advise to not limit your life as best you can due to insomnia - still so the things you enjoy, including weight lifting!

@@danh2310 I miss that so much.. I haven't worked out in four years, stopped doing BJJ and lost lots and lots of weight. I'm scary skinny. I've learned about The Sleep Coach School and all the other coaches and managed to put down the med, but I still sleep little and troubled. My biggest hope is that one day I can workout again....

Hi, nasal congestion won't cause insomnia, however when people develop insomnia they tend to become more obsessive and anxious about EVERYTHING - you can wear nasal strips to bed which may help alleviate the problem but I would definitely advise addressing the problem by tackelling the insomnia. This is what my entire channel is about! Joe

Hi, I'm really happy to have helped! thank you for letting me know and i'm so happy you are now sleeping.

Hi Renee, ahhh thanks for such a lovely comment. I do currently have them stacked and auto realising every Thursday at 1pm UK time (so check your notifications every Thursday as as you are based in the US it will be there when you wake up!) I will eventually switch to two a week and have plans to have guests on the channel (people who I have worked with to help cure there inomnia - I'm going to have an entire series called - Success Stories" or something along those lines - I think hearing them will be very motivating for people) But i'm currently having an extended break in the Phillipines so that's in the works for around July time! Hope you are well and still continuing to sleep better! Joe

Hi Yes, insomnia is incredibly anxiety driven (worrying about sleep itself) that anything that feeds this makes it 100X worse! really not helpful when this gets perpetuated all the time.

Hi, the 'instantly awake' as soon as you get into bed is due to the conditioned response of the bed being a place of worry and wakefulness - i'd start with this playlist here as it will help you! ua-cam.com/play/PLZCxSx-clg_iQVf41w8-GP4lQxIa88xHk.html

Hi, true paradoxical insomnia is very rare and is usually something you would have from an early age. If you were for example to say, I literally have not slept for an entire year, that would be true paradoxical insomnia as this is simply not possible. Many night however where you feel you are half awake / half asleep etc this is a normal part of insomnia as it is very common to have poor sleep quality with insomnia. I would advise giving yourself a gentle sleep window so you are not spending an excessive amount of time in bed IE when you were a good sleeper, if you were to say estimate that you needed 7 hours of sleep per night, this number would be a good bench mark. Also put the fixed wake time in place. You should just with these notice the quality of your sleep improve and as it does so the question of whether or not you have truye paradoxical insomnia will be answered. Hope this helps, Joe

@@InsomniaTalks thanks, I already fixed it.

Hi, thanks for you kind comments about my channel and books. Yes exactly the same principles I share in the books will apply for these situations (I would perhaps take a look at the thought record again which you'll find in my 2nd book - "The sleep Well work book" And look at doing these at least a week - a few days before the big event just so you properly deal with these thought patterns in a helpful way so you don't take them into the bed at night. Other than that, just simply time and repetition! take a look at this video here from the 6.00 mark: ua-cam.com/video/kfj4dWJal3o/v-deo.html

Hi, yes it's common to think that you need say 3 hours to spend in bed before falling asleep as you convince yourself you need that relaxation time in bed in order to sleep - IE the longer I spend in bed the greater chance I have of getting sleep to come, however I would recommend only giving yourself enough sleep opportunity in bed and not too much over the long run. You'll find that you will fall asleep quicker this way. It's really only the anxiety / worry that will cause the brain to wake up early in the morning as a learnt behaviour and pattern. If you can wake up early morning before the alarm and you are not stressed / anxious then the brain will not learn early morning awakenings as a n unhelpful pattern. So, I would advise during these early morning awakenings to do absolutely nothing if calm and happy in bed - Or, if the anxiety starts to creep - counter control (reading / tv / podcast in bed) I would also say you have made huge progress already! celebrate that, you are doing really well, and if you have come this far with more time and patience you'll be even further down the line. Gradually with patience, consistency and self kindness the obsession and anxiety around sleep will naturally diminish. But you're on the right path! keep going!

It's not that I expect people to have an amazing day - of course insomnia will impact how you feel drastically. However, insomnia is all about control - trying to get control over something you have no control over, which is forcing yourself to sleep in the short term. The only thing you have control over is your behaviours the next day. You can wake up feeling a 2 out of 10 and eat poorly, not exercise, cancel your plans and obligations, and essentially teach the brain that if you have a bad night of sleep - you will have an appalling day the next day. Or you do whatever is within your control to make the day OKish - not amazing, but better and go to bed the following night feeling lets say a 5 out of 10. Both those options are within something ones control. During my insomnia I would spend the entire day after a dreadful night sleep on the internet, obsessing about finding the next quick fix, I stopped doing everything I loved because I was always in pursuit of trying to protect the following night. It never worked. It just fed the condition. It's not about having an amazing day. It's just about tiny manageable steps forward. ua-cam.com/video/X5dv8tYJS90/v-deo.html ua-cam.com/video/oFikeD-au-M/v-deo.html As for how I expect this from people, I don't ask anybody to do anything I have not had to do myself. I had barely hadn't my house for months when my insomnia was at it's peak - so even small steps forward were a celebration and from there is grew. Also, it's impossible to do this in isolation - you need at least some glimmer of hope that you can sleep at least slightly better before you have the confidence to do this. The psychological leap where perhaps for the first time in 20 years you actually feel sleepy during the day time, or look forward to going to bed, or sleep quickly when in it, or... well that little victory differs from person to person. That's why I really push the sleep window in the early stages, not as a quick fix or something to replicate normal sleep, but jut to give people some moment where after 1 / 2 / 3 weeks of doing it with patience and consistency they actually have one moment of confidence. When I reflect back on my own treatment, I was so sceptical at first, some work was done to tackle that when for the first time I heard something other than the same old tired nonsense and got a real deep understanding of what insomnia was by someone I knew had helped thousands before me - but even then, I still didn't believe it. It was that tiny glimmer of hope from using the sleep window long enough that then gave me the psychological leap that it was something tangible here. Here's my own experience: ua-cam.com/video/GEGt3FWctlI/v-deo.html I realise it will of course be different to yours to some degree, however with all my clients / comments on this channel / book reviews / emails I get I do notice recurring themes with insomnia and with the lack of belief that it can be overcome. (I should say however there is bad CBTi that is a sledgehammer approach that reinforces the obsession and control around sleep and there is good CBTi which is the opposite. I was very very lucky with the person I found) Thank you for taking the time to watch the videos, even if you leave still sceptical I appreciate that you have given it a fair go - most don't as when you have tried EVERYTHING the confidence is so low that it can ever be overcome that most people will automatically lump my work in with all the other nonsense out there without giving it even some consideration. It's something I run up against time and time again - people who have no understanding and or very little training making things 100 X harder for me as I lumped into the same boat. This include people like Andrew Hubermann and Matthew Walker who whilst technically would say they are practicing CBTi it's in the most cases very unhelpful to people as it misses the root cause of what insomnia is. If you still think my work nonsense after seeing all my videos / reading my book reviews (You can sleep too! - Amazon) fair enough, but again I appreciate you taking the time to take a proper look.

@@InsomniaTalks Yeah, no, all quite understandable. I've been through all of that. It's just specifically those unfortunate odd nights when, against all of the successful momentum, your sleep is ruined and that can happen to anybody on a random occasion. The goal, of course, is to not stress about it and just recognize it as a one-off… But as you implicitly recognized in the video, the whole next day is inevitably filled with physiological torture which is difficult to ignore and forget. Legal stimulants won't last all day and the crash makes it worse.

And before you tell me where I'm wrong, here's the thing: I had good sleep for weeks now, so it's not a problem of worrying about failures and associating with them, I've had worse and will take any sleep I'll get, be it 3 hours at night and then a few multiphasic/siesta naps during the day so it's not an acceptance problem either, it's not racing mind FoFR response either - I lay there with a blank mind, lost in the void, then just gently check on myself half-an-hour later and nope, still awake. For context, I'm aware of current state during sleep, kinda like lucid dreaming. Thing is just that recently my night owl trait kicked the door down and took the wheel, making me incredibly sleepy from early morning to noon, so it's not a problem of fearing my bed either - I'll fall asleep in a blink of an eye if I touch my head to the pillow once during that time of the day regardless of whether I had my optimal 7 hours of sleep during the night. But the longer the day progresses, no goddamn matter how it does, I grow progressively more awake until the next morning. A little before this recent problem, I had a consistent bedtime, in-and-out, which worked, then I volitiously shifted it into another equivalent schedule and that worked too. I was even proud of how well I'm able to adjust myself. There's no anxiety preceding the sudden owl intrusion. I don't abuse sleepaids but will take strong ones if on an imminent collision course with the pre-woken waketime. Last time was a good while ago and will probably be tonight.

@@MuradBeybalaev I'm not going to tell you that you are wrong but the fact that you are doing '20 cool tips bro' means that you have not understood or watched this channel to any great depth. (kiwi, hot baths, meditation, avoiding blue light, - yeah, nah not going to do it) This channel is the complete opposite of that as all these tips tricks and hacks just feed the obsession around sleep. You have watched one short video and spent twice as long writing these two messages. There is the option to actually give this channel some time by starting starting with the playlist 'New to the channel start here' and rather than abandoning immediately when you hear something you may not agree with or challenges your view point - working through the other videos after that to understand the nuances. And in case there is the mindset of - how can YOU possibly understand insomnia and what I'm going through, you may also want to do your background on me - ua-cam.com/video/-R5nna73HeI/v-deo.html But you probably won't. And that's fine too.

​@@InsomniaTalks You can guess I wrote it in tired frustration with the night I was having. You misunderstood me. Let me clear up the confusion. You and I both had 20 years to figure out how insomnia works and, having just now found your channel and perused several, not one, of its videos, I appreciate that you are spreading the advice that I have organically found effective myself as well. The root comment was written as a counter-illustration in support of your message. I just happen to do the '20 cool tips bro' naturally, rather than as a bandaid, and wanted to warn that none of them guarantees sleep. As you say, the people who suggest them must've never had insomnia in their life. The self-response comment was written to rather argue that even when everything is done correctly per CBT-i, the insomnia can still throw you a curveball. I have somekinda multi-modal insomnia with different distinct symptoms coming, going and overlapping. And in this recent months-long streak of exceptional success with my sleep, I ended up catching the nightowl curveball, requiring me to re-adjust. By the way, I managed without sleepaids that night after venting, yay. I do wish your content was less repetitive and broke different concepts into different videos instead of reusing every talking point in every video over and over, but I get the YT algo grind… What you could do is make a separate series with an engaging intro, well-separated concepts and a finale of bringing them all together to link a playlist of to people from your more shotgun engagement driver videos. Pardon my awful ambiguity and cheers!

Hi, yes literally if I could give one piece of advise it would be this as sleep loves regularity and consistency. The body clock knows to the minute what time it is (good sleepers can wake up 2 minutes before there alarm on a consistent basis, that is how sensitive and trainable the body clock is) And you are also anchoring the sleep drive. If I were to add 4 more they would be -1) go to bed when sleepy, 2) give yourself enough but not too much sleep opportunity, 3) anything at night that isn't sleeping is fine but ruminating / obessing in bed isn't helpful and 4) yes shift the focus away from trying to get as much sleep as you possibly can in the short term to building these new habits and behaviours so you sleep well over the long run. Of course if the horse has already bolted, this won't fix people with a huge amount of obsession, fear, anxiety, and worry around their sleep as this requires a little extra - but I can guarantee that even with people with chronic insomnia, if there were to do just that over an extended period with patience - overall (not every night but over the month for example) then they will see results. Thanks for your message, not only are your behaviours on point I can also see from the message that the mindset shift has already happened!

Hi, i would really encourage making sure the disagreements are dealt with properly before going to bed as if you are lying in bed ruminating, thinking / worrying about the arument, problem solving etc of course you are not going to sleep well! If this a common occurrence that disagreements etc are happening before bedtime and they are around a common theme not resolved perhaps a good discussion to get to the root of the problem is needed? Whilst i'm stepping outside of my field of sleep medicine here and into relationship counselling, if you are going to raise a subject i've personally found that timing is everything, nice meal to prepare the ground, thoughtful gestures, then when it's the perfect time, raise it tactfully and softly. But like I said, this advice is far beyond my scope! As for the diet, I really would advise just sticking to your regular I assume healthy diet and trying as best you can not to allow the poor night to take too much away from your day aswell. Of course you will not feel great, but you can eat and do all the wrong things the next day and make yourself feel even worse. Or you can do all the right things (eat well, exercise etc) and feel better than you might have otherwise. There are hundreds of variables that affect how you feel during the day. Of course sleep is 1 big variable, but there are other things within your control. Hope this helps. Joe

Hi, the sleep drive isn't this really fragile thing that you have to wrap up in cotten wool. If your behaviours around sleep are good, it will still be there and the earlier sunrise is correlation not causation almost certainly. Invest in a good black out blind if you believe otherwise. What's happened is you were doing well, so you weren't worrying, thinnking or obessing about sleep. Why would you be worrying about not sleeping when you are not sleeping? But you had a bad night for whatever reason, which turned into 2, then 3, then... Suddenly the lion that went away is back right in front of you. And when a lion is right in front of you, you are not there thinking about all the times there wasn't! What I would recommend is taking a look at all my videos around relapses: ua-cam.com/video/v3w-hvHIdFo/v-deo.html ua-cam.com/video/d-yeHvyNNA0/v-deo.html ua-cam.com/video/kfj4dWJal3o/v-deo.html ua-cam.com/video/B7dY_As0Td4/v-deo.html Also have a think if you've gone back to your old behaviours, your old obessions, your old... and put the good habits and behaviours that you were doing when you were sleeping well back in place, if you do this, eventually your sleep will right itself. Hope this helps, Joe

Hope they help! but yes it's not CPAP or nothing. It's far better to do something than nothing at all when it comes to sleep apenea - the adherence to CPAP is low, but some of the alternatives can be highly effective. The studies with strengthening the airway during the day time (like weightlifting for your throat!) are very promising.

Hey Jp, thanks for your comment and I'm very glad you are doing so well. As for responding to a poor night - Say you wake up after a poor night feeling a 3 out of 10. You don't eat well. You cancel your plans. You don't exercise. You don't... you essentially have a dreadful day. You go to bed the following night feeling a 1 out of 10 having just proven to your brain that if you have a poor night of sleep you will definetly have a dreadful day. What does that do for the fear around sleeping well? Does that lower or increase the pressure and therefore the fear around not getting a good night of sleep? Now say you wake up after a poor night and feel a 3 out of 10. But you exercise, eat well, meet wit friends, don't cancel your plans - is it realistic you could go to bed the following night not feeling amazing, of course a poor night will negatively impact you day, but realistically say 6 out of 10? Insomnia is all about wanting to get control over something you cannot possibly control in the short term. But you do have full control over what you choose to do in the day. The day is far far more influential to the night than anythihg you can do 30 minutes before bed or during the night time. By still getting stuck into you day you are training the brain that you do have control over your sleep (in the right way) and you are not teaching it that a poor night equals a dreadful day. Do you have to be happy about a poor night, no. Will it impact your day. But it can impact your day massively, or a little bit. That's the difference. And of course i'm not asking anybody to do something I myself have not had to do! Yes i'm sure you'll love the programme, it takes you step by step with all of this. If you've had insomnia for a long time, it will give you everything you need to get out of it, and prevent it coming back - written exercises, challenges, group support, email support - I give a lot away on this channel for free, but of course, the programme has a lot extra!

Hi Brad, start with behavioural changes first to re build your pattern of sleep and strengthen your sleep drive. You need a quick win just to see improvements in your sleep. Obsession / fear / worry about not sleeping is present because your sleep is so un predictable but if you could quickly prove to yourself that you can sleep, that will give you a hyge psychological leap. Then take a binge watch of my channel as this goes into subtle though pattern change shifting and or grab my book from Amazon for a step by step guide (Your 2 in 1 CBTi book) But your first step is this playlist here: www.youtube.com/@InsomniaTalks/playlists (new to the channel start here) Have a watch of all of these to start you with the behavioural changes, implement them - and whilst you are doing that have a binge - these videos will set you right!

@@InsomniaTalks I ordered your book. Thanks!

@@BradBurden Thanks Brad, really hope it helps!

Hi Ian, Hypnic jerks fall under the category of parasomnias - parasomnias are unusual sleep disorders and include things like sleep walking, night terrors, sleep paralysis, sleep talking, sleep eating, EHS and yes hypnic jerks. Science has shown that if you can improve sleep quality then the prevalence of parasomnias will massively decline. I frequently had multiple parasomnias during my insomnia, everything from sleep paralysis to hypnic jerks etc etc and they went away then I tackelled my insomnia. So you tackle hypnic jerks in exactly the same way as you would insomnia which is what this entire channel is about. Put yourself a sleep window in place, do stimulus / counter control and deal with the thought patterns around it. How? Take a look at this playlist here as a start: www.youtube.com/@InsomniaTalks/playlists And then take a binge watch of my entire channel. Also one of my ex clients Wayne goss had hypnic jerks and something very similar to hypnic jerks could EHS (exploding head syndrome - a very dramatic name, but essentially it is like a hypnic jerk but just in the brain) he overcome them just like everyone else by working with me to improve his sleep - take a look at this video here: ua-cam.com/video/OobtJBAHavU/v-deo.html We start discussing them around the 29.30 mark. Also I have an entire video on hypnic jerks here: ua-cam.com/video/qSUzxBFf-3Y/v-deo.html Thanks, Joe

Hi thank for your message. As for sleeping tablets well yes ideally, but not guilt attached to taking them in the meantime. I took them too! virtually everyone I work with does too initially. You will find if you set a fixed waketime, the time you feel sleepy will become a lot more predictable and consistent. Say you set your wake time to 7am for 2 weeks. You will probably notice that at some point in those two weeks you roughly start feeling sleepy at a similar time. A very safe way of taking sleeping tablets to ensure you don't need to climb the stairs etc whilst on them is to go to bed and read / watch TV etc and take the tablet when already in bed. Then when you feel sleepy that's when you would turn the light off for sleep. This may sound the opposite advice to what I gave in the video (only go to bed when sleepy) but it's still the same. When you are in bed watching TV / reading your intention is not to sleep! it's just to read / watch TV, the same as when you are on the sofa. When the sleepy feeling comes, that's when the light is turned off / the book is put down etc. So this approach is very similar and still avoids people going to bed and lying down in a dark room trying to sleep when they are not sleep and getting cross and annoyed when it doesn't come. Joe

Thanks Renee - that's it at it's most extreme - I've settled for the middle way of a short neat one so I don't look like a pirate. How are you both keeping? Been RVing recently?